same name as family member but don't want to honor them

Ladybug32110

Okay that was hard to title.. but basically DH and I like the name Jessie for a girl. Problem is my grandma's name is Jessie. I guess it's not really a "problem" but she isn't someone we would want to "honor" and I wouldn't want her to think the baby was named after her (I guess it's no big deal if she thinks but I could see her making a big deal of it) She is not a bad person, no bad history and we actually see her quite often but we don't have a close relationship. Do you think it matters?

BrideBuddies

You can't control what other people think.   Even if you point-blank tell her the child is not named for her, she'll think otherwise.  And so will most people, frankly.

So is it really that bad if she thinks that?  Probably not.  So yeah, not that big of a deal in the whole scheme of life.

Personally, I wouldn't use the name in this situation... unless it's for the MN.

What about Jessica, Justine or just Jess?

JMU_Bride09

Hmm...tough one.  It would matter to me, but if it doesn't bother you, then no, it doesn't matter.  You just need to decide if it will bother you or not.

ang.ela23

If you don't want to "honor" her or think the baby was named after her, don't do it. Bc I wouldnt tell my grandma...oh she isnt named after you even if it was the truth. Thats just me She is going to think it is named after her & she is going to feel honored and special. So if you do not want this to happen then pick another name.

misscarter87

No i dont think it matters at all! If that's the name you want then stick to it!!!

g8trkim

Honestly, it would make me change the name, because I would always associate it with her.

capulet

ang.ela23:

If you don't want to "honor" her or think the baby was named after her, don't do it. Bc I wouldnt tell my grandma...oh she isnt named after you even if it was the truth. Thats just me She is going to think it is named after her & she is going to feel honored and special. So if you do not want this to happen then pick another name.

This.  I don't see how you could possibly tell her that.  If you don't mind her thinking the baby was named after her, even if she wasn't, that's fine, but if you don't want her to think so, then don't do it.

And this really may be just me, but I think that if you tell your DD that she shares a name with her great-grandmother but was not named after her, that would also be a little awkward.  If I shared a name with a family member (and my middle name before I married was my aunt's name, so I did), I would like to think that it was in honor of that person - that it was someone my parents cared enough about to name me after.

PnkBride

My niece is named Jessica and her dad calls her Jesse.

EastCoastBride

It just depends on how much her (or others) thinking the baby is named after her bothers you.  People WILL make that assumption - whether she claims it or not! 

notkateanymore

It's going to seem like you're naming the baby after her. No way around it. Unless of course you just tell everybody you didn't...but that's not very nice. I don't really like the name, it sounds like a nn instead of a full name.

raefre

If we have a second boy, we have a name that is the same name as my grandfather's.  However, we would not be naming our son after him as in our families, we believe everyone should be named for themselves.  It is just that it is a really nice name and I've loved it since I was a child.  And we'd use different nicknames instead of the one my grandfather went by. 

I've told my grandma about it, that we would not be using it just because grandpa's name was that but to name our son his own name, and my grandmother had no problems with it.  However, I would never tell my grandfather that to his face, because he would be tickled pink that we used his name.  

I don't see the harm in letting your grandmother think your child was named after her, even if she told her friends and family, unless there is more to the story than that (in other words, she was not an honorable person in her dealings with you and other people).  

NHbride129

I think it's just too weird and not worth hurting your grandmother's feelings.  I imagine she would hear at some point that you picked the name for other reasons and she would be heartbroken.

 

kmichln

capulet:

ang.ela23:

If you don't want to "honor" her or think the baby was named after her, don't do it. Bc I wouldnt tell my grandma...oh she isnt named after you even if it was the truth. Thats just me She is going to think it is named after her & she is going to feel honored and special. So if you do not want this to happen then pick another name.

This.  I don't see how you could possibly tell her that.  If you don't mind her thinking the baby was named after her, even if she wasn't, that's fine, but if you don't want her to think so, then don't do it.

And this really may be just me, but I think that if you tell your DD that she shares a name with her great-grandmother but was not named after her, that would also be a little awkward.  If I shared a name with a family member (and my middle name before I married was my aunt's name, so I did), I would like to think that it was in honor of that person - that it was someone my parents cared enough about to name me after.

 

I agree with all of this. My first name was given to me to honor my Aunt. My middle names are in my family too and I have a couple cousins who think that I am named after them even though my mom told me that I wasn't. It was always weird when my family would bring it up. Even though you would think it wouldn't be brought up often, it's does sometimes. So I guess even though you like the name you should really think about it before you choose it. 

MAdams728

 It dosent make much sense to use your grandmother's name without it being in her honor.  Anyone that ever knows your family or even sees a geneology chart from this point until time ends will assume she's named after her. 

In my opinion, name her after your grandmother and accept it, or choose a different name. 

jupiterthecat

I think that, like it or not, she will be honored if you use that name. If that bothers you, choose a different name.

Just a thought-- How about Jessa? I kind of like it, and you could use Jessie as a NN. It seems a little fresher than Jessica.