S/O Sleepovers with friends

kcisthebombdotcom

A poster below who said she's been having sleepovers with friends since 3 reminded me of something.

DH told me the other day we should invite my DS's BFF over for a sleepover. He'll be 5 in October. I told him that I thought that was too young. He thought I was weird. lol.

What age do you think (a ballpark, since this probably varies by kid) for sleepovers to begin? When did your kids start having sleepovers with friends if you have older kids?

Sonadora

Probably 1st or 2nd grade. That's the first time I recall sleeping at a friend's house.

LaCally4

I think around 2nd grade.

scoutkate

7ish maybe. 

insertclevername

Probably around 2nd or 3rd grade.

MrsPteranodon

We weren't allowed sleep overs. So I probably won't allow my kids to attend them either.

 

jess60

I remember having sleepovers when I was in 1st grade.  My BFF was in kindergarten.

ATMmom324

I think it depends on the child.  I remember having several sleepovers when I was 5 or 6.  I would get scared during the middle of the night and walk home.  Luckily my friend who I was staying with lived next door.  I felt pressured to do them even though they terrified me sleeping in someone else's house.  I guess I will ask and make sure my kid is ready before I just assume they will have a great time and send them.

ktshoff

second grade

missmuffin87

I think 6 or 7 is a good age. But it really depends on the kids, parents and the situation. 

I had sleepovers at a young age but I think it was more like our parents were friends and one mom would babysit overnight for the other.  

kcisthebombdotcom

justAphase:

MrsPteranodon:

We weren't allowed sleep overs. So I probably won't allow my kids to attend them either.

 

You know you don't have to do things EXACTLY like your parents, right?

I would be sad to not allow my daughter to have sleepovers. They are some of my best memories of being a kid.  

Exactly this.

MrsPteranodon

justAphase:

MrsPteranodon:

We weren't allowed sleep overs. So I probably won't allow my kids to attend them either.

 

You know you don't have to do things EXACTLY like your parents, right?

I would be sad to not allow my daughter to have sleepovers. They are some of my best memories of being a kid.  

Its probably not going to be an issue since I have boys and all.  Maybe if they have friends that live next door or something similar. 

stdldb29

Whenever someone asks? He starts school in the fall, he will only be 4 though-but he will be at a public school-I bet by kinder or so. 

jess60

MrsPteranodon:

justAphase:

MrsPteranodon:

We weren't allowed sleep overs. So I probably won't allow my kids to attend them either.

 

You know you don't have to do things EXACTLY like your parents, right?

I would be sad to not allow my daughter to have sleepovers. They are some of my best memories of being a kid.  

Its probably not going to be an issue since I have boys and all.  Maybe if they have friends that live next door or something similar. 

Boys don't have sleepovers?

scoutkate

MrsPteranodon:

We weren't allowed sleep overs. So I probably won't allow my kids to attend them either.

 

Is this a for-real answer?

MandaPanda518

MrsPteranodon:

justAphase:

MrsPteranodon:

We weren't allowed sleep overs. So I probably won't allow my kids to attend them either.

 

You know you don't have to do things EXACTLY like your parents, right?

I would be sad to not allow my daughter to have sleepovers. They are some of my best memories of being a kid.  

Its probably not going to be an issue since I have boys and all.  Maybe if they have friends that live next door or something similar. 

Uh....

I have a boy, and if he wants to have a sleep over, I'm all for it. I would be sad if he didn't get to make those memories. I loved sleepovers.

SunDrop11

I loved going to and having sleepovers, so I will be excited when DD starts being interested in them. I think I spent the night at a friend's house for the first time in 1st grade. She lived right up the street, so if I got scared, it was easy to get back home. I think that only happened once, though.

Abinormal

MrsPteranodon:

justAphase:

MrsPteranodon:

We weren't allowed sleep overs. So I probably won't allow my kids to attend them either.

 

You know you don't have to do things EXACTLY like your parents, right?

I would be sad to not allow my daughter to have sleepovers. They are some of my best memories of being a kid.  

 

Its probably not going to be an issue since I have boys and all.  Maybe if they have friends that live next door or something similar. 

Boys can have sleepovers as well. It's not just a girl thing. My brother had friends spend the night far more often than my sister and myself. 

Abinormal

I'm not sure what age my daughter will sleepover at a friend's house. We have a couple of good friends who have children within a year of DD's current age. I imagine she'll spend the night with one of these friends sometime during the next few years. As far as spending the night with a friend who's parents I don't really know, it probably won't happen till she's, at least, 6 years old, if not older.

[Deleted User]

LOL, I was the queen of waking up my friends' parents in the middle of the night to have my parents come pick me up.  I think I stopped doing that around 7 or 8, but I think my first sleepover was in kindergarten.

I think a good time to start is when you can count on your kid listening to and being respectful of a friend's parent's rules.  Whenever that is.

MrsSR

I don't allow sleepovers (for DD going to someone else's house-other than family), but I think around 2nd grade I'd allow her friends here.

judahsmommy1

For those of you who won't allow your children to go on sleep overs, why not? Is it that you don't think you'll know the parents well enough to trust them? I always thought sleep overs were a normal part of being a kid. My child won't be going to sleep overs at stranger's homes, but if I know the parents and he wants to go I'll definitely be okay with it.

AshasaurusRex

MrsSR:

I don't allow sleepovers (for DD going to someone else's house-other than family), but I think around 2nd grade I'd allow her friends here.

I don't think we're going to allow sleepovers either, unless it's with someone who we know the parents extremely well and completely trust. They can have kids over here to sleepover probably around 7, 8, or 9 years old.

MrsSR

judahsmommy1:

For those of you who won't allow your children to go on sleep overs, why not? Is it that you don't think you'll know the parents well enough to trust them? I always thought sleep overs were a normal part of being a kid. My child won't be going to sleep overs at stranger's homes, but if I know the parents and he wants to go I'll definitely be okay with it.

Unless I know EVERYONE in that house and anyone who may stop by/visit then I'm just not comfortable.  You never know if there is a creepy uncle/aunt/grandparent/neighbor/etc.  I'm not comfortable with it at all.

klondikebar

The kids seems to start around 1st or 2nd grade.

Also, boy sleepovers are awesome. They don't seem to have as many petty fights as girls do throughout the night. lol 

fancynewbeesly

I had sleepovers with my best friends starting around 3. Obviously, my parents were good friends with them. And unfortunately, all of my friends wouldn't sleep away from home--and they got picked up at 2am in the morning if they slept in our house. It was easier for me to go there.

However, I wasn't allowed to stay overnight at a sleepover party--mostly because there was a higher probability of not sleeping at all--and I was a grumpass as a kid if I didn't get enough sleep. One on one we actually slept more.

This was with me having medical issues growing up.

Honestly, I wouldn't have a problem having my daughter sleep over at a good friend's house at 3 or 4. (People we hang out with all the time, know the family, rules, etc.) If she wanted to. I would never force her too obviously. However, there are some people that I would much rather have the child over here than her ever sleeping over their house. It depends  

fancynewbeesly

And boy sleepovers are the best.  

 

My brother had them ALL the time growing up--not just on his birthday. Mostly because he went to a private school and most of his friends live 20-40 minutes away, so it was easier just to have a sleepover and pick them up the next day.

 

Of course my parents were ultraliberal. I actually had *gasp* coed sleepovers with my two best friends from the ages of the 3-18. Scott and Jonathan. I don't know if I will be THAT liberal  with my daughter though--my parents were really trusting because I was a good kid and they knew my friends and their families really well  

Manateearmz

We have friends that will have children around the same age. I don't have a problem if I'm friends with the parents doing it around 6 or 7. 

She will never go to anyone's home that I don't know or feel comfortable with.  

SnoopyLuv

AshasaurusRex:

MrsSR:

I don't allow sleepovers (for DD going to someone else's house-other than family), but I think around 2nd grade I'd allow her friends here.

I don't think we're going to allow sleepovers either, unless it's with someone who we know the parents extremely well and completely trust. They can have kids over here to sleepover probably around 7, 8, or 9 years old.

I laugh at this (specifically MrsSR). So you think other parents will be OK having their kids coming to your house but you won't let it go the other way around?

Do you see that it's kind of hypocritical to think that they'd want their kids at your house but you won't let your kids stay there? Or maybe that might be a red flag to another parent? No one is going to be having any sleepovers since we're all a bunch of paranoid nutjobs.

ETA: J's already had a few "sleepovers" but we prefer to call them babysitting exchanges.

MrsSR

SnoopyLuv:

AshasaurusRex:

MrsSR:

I don't allow sleepovers (for DD going to someone else's house-other than family), but I think around 2nd grade I'd allow her friends here.

I don't think we're going to allow sleepovers either, unless it's with someone who we know the parents extremely well and completely trust. They can have kids over here to sleepover probably around 7, 8, or 9 years old.

I laugh at this (specifically MrsSR). So you think other parents will be OK having their kids coming to your house but you won't let it go the other way around?

Do you see that it's kind of hypocritical to think that they'd want their kids at your house but you won't let your kids stay there? Or maybe that might be a red flag to another parent? No one is going to be having any sleepovers since we're all a bunch of paranoid nutjobs.

ETA: J's already had a few "sleepovers" but we prefer to call them babysitting exchanges.

Look, this is just the way we do things in my family.  I have very personal reasons for this that I don't feel like going into on the internet. 

My nieces do not go on sleepovers either (unless it's family or super close friends that are practically family), but have had plenty of kids come to their house to stay the night.  It does not seem to affect them in any way.

I don't see why this matters to you anyway.  If you want your kid to have sleepovers then do!  Who the hell cares if someone else doesn't allow them?  As a parent you do what works for you and your family. 

MrsSR

duplicate

MrsSR

Stardust225:

MrsSR:

I don't see why this matters to you anyway.  If you want your kid to have sleepovers then do!  Who the hell cares if someone else doesn't allow them?  As a parent you do what works for you and your family. 

It's TEH BUMP!!

Put your parenting out there, we all have an opinion.

Guns. Pool parties. Sleepovers. Swings. Breastfeeding. Rear facing. 

Yeah, what was I thinking?  LOL..

SnoopyLuv

Stardust225:

MrsSR:

I don't see why this matters to you anyway.  If you want your kid to have sleepovers then do!  Who the hell cares if someone else doesn't allow them?  As a parent you do what works for you and your family. 

It's TEH BUMP!!

Put your parenting out there, we all have an opinion.

Guns. Pool parties. Sleepovers. Swings. Breastfeeding. Rear facing. 

 

I don't particularly have an opinion or care about what YOU do. I'm just pointing out how other parents might perceive you only letting people come to your house as a little strange and red flag-ish. Especially as someone who has been through what I think you're alluding to it pricks my ears even more as "the other parent' in this scenario.

There was no need to get defensive. I'm just giving my thoughts as to how other parents might find your attitude about sleepovers.

Chill, seriously.