CS Questions
joliebebe
member
I'm a constant lurker on this board, been a little too scared to post. Long story short I am expecting my first LO in November. BD has said he doesn't want anything to do with LO - he's flipflopped multiple times over this issue, there's a chance he changes his mind again. Anyway, I have encouraged him to be involved and will not have a problem with him having visitation. But the one thing he's adament about is that he's "not paying CS" as he says. I've talked to a lawyer, a judge, and a worker for social services who say we'll be able to find him and he'll have to pay the CS regardless. Problem is he lives in another state and he's cut all contact with me so beyond knowing his last known address, his last known employer, I don't know really anything. Perhaps the only good thing in this is that his job is high profile - a dentist - and his name has to be public/also his place of work, so he can't hide under the radar.
Now, my question is, how often do BD get away with not paying CS? How is that possible, unless they don't have a job or are getting paid cash on the side? I've read so many stories where the BD/XH don't pay CS but continue seeing the kids? I wouldn't be that worried, but I'm in school and the CS would be helpful until I finish. Kind of long, sorry, but any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.
Re: CS Questions
first off, i just wanted to say i'm sorry you are having to go through this
the nerve of BD to refuse to pay CS!
second, i have no personal experience or legal knowledge regarding child support (but will soon as I am in the process of divorce). it sounds like your BD probably makes a solid income as a practicing dentist. I'm almost positive a court will order a significant amount of child support. whether he pays is a different story. however, being in a profession such as a dentist, i would think he would be concerned about his credit and licensure. if he does not pay child support, your state could probably assert a lien which would affect his ability to obtain any major credit. you may also want to look into whether his failure to pay child support could affect his standing as a dentist. i also dont think you should be worried about finding where he is---there are plenty of great private investigators out there who can find him
good luck!
Back in the last century, my ex got away with not paying child support for 7 years. As technology and reporting laws changed, so did that. Now, he changes jobs, and they've found him within 2mos. I haven't gone more than 120 days without it since DD was 7. Oh, and when they finally caught up with him? He was going to be sent to jail until I intervened. He'll be paying child support LONG after DD turns 18.
In this day and age, it's impossible to stay hidden unless you start changing your name. They'll find him. They'll take his tax refunds. Of course, my ex quit filing when that happened! But, it all takes time and patience. And always make sure you aren't dependent on CS to survive, because it can disappear in a snap.
Child support and visitation are completely separate. You cannot withhold visitation if EX isn't paying his C/S. Frustrating, inconvenient, and irritating...definitely so. My EX quit his job when child support enforcement ordered wage garnishment...he got sent back to jail not long after that for parole violations. So I haven't gotten any payments in months.