DH's uncle is a jackazz!

Nita2603

So I just need to vent a little. So MiL has 9 siblings. 8 sisters. The youngest (I guess MiL is the second youngest, I am never sure, they all look the same and I have never actually seen all of them at once) is coming for visits relatively often. And her husband, while probably well meaning, is a total jackazz.

So when I moved to Canada, he made all kinds of strange comments. While my in laws are well traveled, intelligent people, he is not. So I sguess he assumed I was always overwhelmed and in awe at the great things North America has which third world Germany is lacking. You know, like electricity and water in houses. It took a whole for him to understand that I a) did not trade up (or down even, I just traded) and b) that I was not a mail order bride for his desperate, red headed nephew.

 

Anyways,  so after he learned how DH and I met, that I am not a homebody and that my life is not fulfilled with cooking and cleaning (he seems to think that is what should, in fact, fulfill women), he seemed to have formed this picture of me (and DH), which is not flattering. In fact, he seemed to think we were cold and not very caring or loving aside from towards each other. This mainly showed in his utter surprise whenever we added to our family. First we got not one, but two cats. His reaction was 'I never took you for cat people! Nita, especially you!' well, both of us have always have cats. He should have known that about his nephew, but whatever. I mean, there are about a hundred of those.

Then we bought the house and Shadow joined us. His reaction was the same. Utter surprise. As in having to mention it about a billion times over dinner. And being shocked about the fact that no, we cannot just leave the dog at home for several hours just because he wants to go somewhere with us. Or being shocked that we spent 'all that money' to get Rocky's eyes fixed. After all, we could have bought  something else with it....'I never thought you were the nurturing type.' was one of the comments which really got me. I mean...the man does barely know me. I know that my ILs were both taken aback by that comment too. Whatever.

 So fastforward to last year when I got pregnant and we announced it in April. Shortly thereafter, they were in town and while the aunt was very excited for us (all of the sisters are baby crazy, it is quite cute), he was happily congratulating us and then added a 'I never took you for the mothering type, I just cannot picture you with a kid.' well, after having lost one in 2nd trimester years ago and struggling to get pregnant at all, that was quite the slap in the face. At that point I actually said 'you know, you keep being and acting very surprised at the choices we make in terms of adding to our family, but we have never actually discussed this topic before and you don't know us enough to be surprised one way or the other. It is quite hurtful, too.' he at that point just kinda shut up and that was that. We saw them again right before I was due and there were more odd comments to the effect of the usual crap, but whatever, at that point I was past caring.

 

So now finally to today. They are in town. They invaded my home, saw Alastair the first time. Aunt was nuts about him. Uncle was too. At some point he tells DH he was surprised that we actually made such a nice and cute child. Say what? Yeah, exactly. Oh, and he told me while leaving he was surprised we were having another. I said 'yeah, people don't really get that we wanted them close together.' and he says 'no, at all. I didn't picture you as a mother of two. I just don't see you dividing your love and attention well.' - and that was when I said goodbye and left to go upstairs. Seriously, who can be this thick? I am so mad.

 

Sorry, just had to vent. This has been in my mind for several hours and I need to get it out somehow. Plus, I cannot sleep. Stupid third trimester. Grrrr. If you read the whole thing, go eat some chocolate or have a beer. You deserve it. 

aml+japan

What. The. F.

 I feel sorry for your aunt for having to live with such an azzhat. Surely she notices his comments? 

Nita2603

They seem to be really happy, actually. I don't get it. She is a sweet lady.

pearblossom

I'm sorry, Nita. What a fool. What does your aunt say when he makes comments like this?

My BIL also makes asshead comments all the time about us having kids so close together. I finally told him that he needs to judge our parenting choices behind our backs, like the rest of us do with him. We saw a decrease in assyness after that.

Fianschneid

This guy sounds like an a$shat. While it doesn't make it okay, I would venture to guess all of the cousins have similar stories about their uncle.

I'm sorry you have to deal with. Luckily, it sounds like you don't have to see him too often.

Stewartandmaura

Seriously? What kind of douchebag makes comments like that? Weirdo.

mrsgabus

People can be such Pricks!

Dh's Boss called the other day and His first comment about my missed miscarriage was

" Maybe it's her body telling her she shouldn't have any more kids!"

really? Seriously?? <throat punch>

pearblossom

mrsgabus:

People can be such Pricks!

Dh's Boss called the other day and His first comment about my missed miscarriage was

" Maybe it's her body telling her she shouldn't have any more kids!"

really? Seriously?? <throat punch>

 OH MY EFFING GOSH. I am sososo sorry, G. I would cut a biitch.

I'm sure you know this, but sometimes you just need someone to say it: That is absolutely not true. You can have as many babies as you want. 

Nita2603

mrsgabus:

People can be such Pricks!

Dh's Boss called the other day and His first comment about my missed miscarriage was

" Maybe it's her body telling her she shouldn't have any more kids!"

really? Seriously?? <throat punch>

Wow. Some people just need to STFU and never ever open their mouths again. I am so sorry that happened.

You'll get your sticky baby hopefully soon and that guy needs to lose at least one testicle for that comment. What an azz!!!