Lurking for guidance

mgade001

What a fantastic group! I have been lurking for a few weeks since we have several risk factors for having an early and possibly growth restricted baby. I have posted in high risk if anyone is interested in my story. 

I am trying to gather all of the info I can to make the best choices possible since we know that there is a high probability that we will deliver at least 6 weeks early. God willing we make it that far. 

I am wondering if there is anything I could/should be doing to prepare beyond the obvious? We will be delivering at a hospital with a level IV NICU.

I know that for some of you, preterm birth was unexpected. Knowing what you know, is there any advice that you can offer? 

Another unfortunate part of the conversation is making choices regarding fetal monitoring and resuscitation should we deliver really early (especially a growth restricted baby). I'm tormented thinking about this part of it. 

I really appreciate your input.

thishappyhouse

I hope you stay pregnant for a long while!  You are doing all the right things by delivering at a hospital with a level IV NICU and getting as informed as possible.

 By 21 weeks I knew I was likely going to have a preemie.  I was dealing with an incompetent cervix and was hoping to make it to 32-34 weeks with bedrest.  Things went downhill at 22 weeks and I was admitted to the hospital and things when downhill again at 24 weeks.  We hung on and I ultimately delivered at 25w 0d.  Ultimately, despite the anxiety, I was glad that I was somewhat prepared for a premature birth.  I was also glad that medically I was prepared for a premature birth.  I received beta steroids, magnesium for neuroprotection, preventative antibiotics, etc.   

Some other things you can do to prepare:  

-find an outlet for yourself- meditation, journal writing, blogging - something that will help you work through your feelings and emotions

- find the support your need... friends, family, internet strangers I also liked to read through keepemcookin.com while on bedrest.  

-take any help that people will offer

- you eluded to it; have those tough conversations with your Husband now and not when you have to make tough decisions.  By far the hardest day of my life was meeting with MFM and the Neonatologists when I was admitted at 22 weeks and deciding when we were ready for medical intervention.  For us it was not only resuscitation but was also complicated by the fact that I would definitely need a classical c-section in order to request resuscitation.  We promised ourselves to make a decision on a gestation/estimated fetal weight and to not look back. 

Mrs. Alice

My twins starting having issues at 22 weeks so by that point we knew we were in for either a tragic loss of one or both, and/or extreme prematurity with the possibility of life long disabilities, and many difficult decisions.  I couldn't bare to read anything on the internet because I was too scared.  Finally I got admitted at 24 weeks at it became very real.  For a lack of better words, really really sucked because they gave us such poor odds due to their condition and baby A's growth restriction.  After a little time when I started regaining my hope again, I watched youtube videos about preemies at the gestational age I was at so I could get a glimpse about what to expect and be inspired by their outcomes.  I was also able to take a tour of the NICU a couple times.  Every day that passed and every week was a celebration because it meant they had a better chance. 

 I know how it feels not being able to make happy plans like during a normal pregnancy.  I woud advise you to try to make the most of your pregnancy.  Definitely name your baby as soon as you find out the sex so it makes him/her feel like more a "real person".  Educate yourself, but try not to get hung up on the negatives.  Also I've seen some really neat ideas on here I wish I had done while my boys were in the NICU, like leaving some disposible cameras for the nurses to take pics when you aren't there, using a stuffed animal for size comparison pics from birth to 12 months old.  Sorry that's kind all over the place.  I hope that things go very well for you both and you can avoid this board for a long time at least!

jennbent

If you're able...stock up on freezer meals now!  We are in the middle of week 8 of our son in the NICU and I would kill to have a bunch of meals in the freezer that I could just whip out and heat up before making the nightly trek the NICU.  We are so busy now there isn't any time for cooking.

Cst2CstBride

Make sure your hair and nails are done in a way you'd be OK being photographed.  I'm mostly kidding. My daughter was born unexpectedly at 27 weeks due to severe pre-eclampsia and IUGR.  I went to urgent care thinking I had a bad stomach flu and might need IV hydration because I couldn't keep anything down and my daughter was born 5 hours later.  I had showered that morning to see if the hot water would help my pain and let my curly hair air dry because I felt too crappy to do it. Obviously this was the least of my worries, but by day 5 of my hospitalization I was pretty tired of my chipping nails and awful hair in all of my daughter's first pictures.  Again, totally not actually important given that I had a 27 week baby in NICU, but it did annoy me.

If you haven't taken a childbirth class/hospital tour, do it now.  Luckily my hospital was well labeled and we were able to find L&D easily while in crisis. They roomed us immediately and had my husband fill out the paperwork while I was being examined.  It would nice not to have to worry about registering if goodness forbid you are admitted during a crisis.  Also, as a FTM there were all sorts of things I that hadn't learned yet about birth and what happens after.  I got by, but it would have been nice to know what was going to happen.  

I totally agree with freezer meals.  I had all sorts of meals I was going to make ahead, but since I delivered 3 months early I didn't have anything prepared.

If you are registering, choose a car seat that starts at 4lbs instead of 5.  Hopefully you will have a term baby who is well over that, but just in case, it is nice not to worry about it.  The NICU Rns have repeatedly told me that I'll be taking home a 4lb baby, so our car seat needed to start at 4.

Good luck.  Hopefully you'll have been prepared for ages when your term or near term baby arrives. 

RedDDD

My guy came 6 weeks early unexpectedly and was in the special care nursery for two weeks.  I agree with others about the car seat.  Fortunately the one I registered for and got was made for babies down to 4lbs so that worked out for us.  We had no newborn size clothing because I was expecting a big baby so we had to run out and buy clothes for him!    But I think my best advice is be flexible and roll with it.  I am a very structured scheduled person and it was the only way I survived.  I just had to trust in the nurses and doctors that everything was going to be fine.  Relax, try not to be hard on yourself.  Take a few moments for yourself in the coming weeks.  Your baby has its own agenda and will come when it wants to come   thats what all the nurses kept telling me in the hospital as I was being wheeled high speed into the OR for a c-section.   Stay positive and it will all work out great!  GL!

RedDDD

Also agree with other post about not worrying about house being ready etc....I wasn't ready at all...didn't even have a hospital bag packed and everything turned out fine.