For moms of 2+... how difficult was the second?

rmaxim

This LO will be #2 for me. I've heard that the second is easier than the first because you know what you're doing and aren't as anxious about all the newness... and that the second is exponentially harder because you now have 2. Which would you say it is? I'm trying to mentally prepare. The first was quite a big adjustment!

blowfish11

My second was more difficult. Yes, my motherly instinct had already kicked in with #1, but DS was much more high needs than DD.  

Giving birth was easier though Pushed for an hour with DD, 10 minutes with DS. 

pamiva1

Going from 0 to 1 was way more difficult than going from 1 to 2. Aside from sleeping issues, it's been really easy. I love that my kids have each other to play with all day

magnoliablossom00

pamiva1:

Going from 0 to 1 was way more difficult than going from 1 to 2. Aside from sleeping issues, it's been really easy. I love that my kids have each other to play with all day

I have heard this from other moms as well. Praying this is the case for me! I had a hard time adjusting to having a newborn (I had no idea how much life was going to change! Such an ignorant and typical FTM) and am hoping this one will be easier.

LaceFace14

I found the transition from 1 to 2 to be much harder than 0-1. I thought having one child was a breeze. Since you had a hard time with the first, maybe the second will be easier for you. I just found that getting used to assessing which needs needed to be met first was difficult and have me a lot of guilt. I'm hopeful that now that I've got it, a third will be easier to transition to. 

ShellShockedMama

I don't have 2 (yet) but I think this question is like any baby related issue. It all depends on your kid. If you had a difficult first baby and an easy second baby you'll be all 'heh, it's EASY!" and vice versa if your first was a breeze and your second was difficult. You'll be all "It's THE HARDEST THING EVER!"

I'm praying that #2 isn't as hard as DS is. please. god. lol.  

PeonyPumps

ShellShockedMama:

I don't have 2 (yet) but I think this question is like any baby related issue. It all depends on your kid. If you had a difficult first baby and an easy second baby you'll be all 'heh, it's EASY!" and vice versa if your first was a breeze and your second was difficult. You'll be all "It's THE HARDEST THING EVER!"

I'm praying that #2 isn't as hard as DS is. please. god. lol.  

This, except I'm praying #2 is as easy as DS is!!!!  

Gipper0809

I'm having the same worries about adding a 3rd.  Honestly--the 0-1 was way harder for us than 1-2.  My DD was (still is 4 years later) high maintenance and I had PPD.  Even though I had major complications with DS, he has been nothing but a happy and easy and laid back baby.  That has made things so much easier on me.

I am less stressed out and way more easy going having 2 than I was with 1.  I'm hoping the trend continues with number 3.  I figure that there are only so many things I can control and I will learn better which battles to fight and what things to let go.

You will be fine.  The good news is that you know that even the bad phases don't last forever.

laura1

Gipper0809:

I'm having the same worries about adding a 3rd.  Honestly--the 0-1 was way harder for us than 1-2.  My DD was (still is 4 years later) high maintenance and I had PPD.  Even though I had major complications with DS, he has been nothing but a happy and easy and laid back baby.  That has made things so much easier on me.

This is me, too!  I had a really hard time going from 0-1.  No PPD, but really bad baby blues for 2 weeks.  My DS was much more high needs than DD was, and we already had a good routine going when DD was born so she just fit right in.  

I am worried about #3 - Everyone seems to have different experiences as to which is harder...I am hoping that the 0-1 will still be the hardest! 

rockinmommy

Our first was super easy...super easy everything. She is still an easy going kid, so I have a feeling this one is going to be difficult, LOL. That being said, mine are 7 years apart, so it's like starting all over for us.

mama2many

My second was much easier - but her basic personality was to be quite compliant. Also, my first was 5 before I had her. My hardest was my third, both due to personality and numbers.

rmaxim

I guess there's just no way to know! DS1 was pretty high maintenance as far as crying and sleep went (he didn't STTN until 18 mos) but otherwise easy - good eater, healthy etc so I can be thankful for that. Now he's super easy going and happy as a toddler.

I feel like this time around I am owed a baby that SLEEPS! Haha. Part of the difficulty adjusting was that I remembered all my little brothers and sisters just sleeping and laying there as little babies and DS was not at all like that - I thought maternity leave would be lots of relaxing and hanging out with my baby, but I barely had the energy to do anything, got no sleep, had a rough recovery...felt like I was hit by a truck! At least this time I will be slightly more prepared and not expecting maternity leave to be a breeze!

doadance

Welp... I'm going from 3 to 4... although my 3 are older, youngest is 6 so I'll have "built in helpers!" 

But when I went from 1 to 2 it was easier for me than 0 to 1... I was never a kid person and was freaking about what to do with a baby... once I figured out I could do it, #2 was a breeze. Plus DD(#2) was born low birth weights so she spent 2 wks in NICU... I lived 5 min from the hospital so after I was released, my mom stayed with us and helped while I drove to/from the hospital every 2 hours to breastfeed... but DS#1 was an awesome toddler so it helped.

Going from 2-3 was a little stressful as their dad had moved out while I was preggo, I couldn't afford to take time off, (although I could take baby to work so that was good) and I was trying to figure out how to juggle 3 LO's with 2 hands.... haha!

What I can say is just like with everything else, whether it's hard for you or easier for you "This too shall pass". Now my 3 are all close in age (~1.5 yrs apart each) and it works perfectly for me, I don't have to juggle different age level appropriate entertainment with them, they all pretty much can do and like the same stuff.

Their dad had twins 2 yrs ago so they are already trained in baby care and cautions, they are sooooo excited for DD#4!!

Some days will be hard, and some will be easy, the amount of each varies. But at the end of the day, try to think positive and give yourself some credit! (ie "phew that was rough! But I made it through! Wonder what tomorrow holds!") 

itsmevkb

My second was easier as she was a great sleeper and a pretty relaxed baby - which is not to say my first was hard, he wasn't, she was just even easier.

The thing with two is you are juggling two at a time some of the time but the nice part is that you and your husband can divide and conquer.  Each of you can take a kid and still give that child individual attention.  That changes once you have three or more.

JLSmith124

I think my situation was a little different than most.

I had a really rough first 6 months with the adjustment. Connor was only 14 months when Aaron was born and had just started walking. Aaron had really bad colic and a milk protein allergy that took about 4 months to get under control (after working with the pedi/GI specialist) and different meds. He cried A LOT. For hours on end with no way to comfort him. We finally made the decision to switch to a prescription formula and change reflux meds and after 6 months of different combinations, this is what worked.  

After we got past all the medical issues, things started to settle down and I found it easier.