The word spoiled. Vent

ASmallWonder

My dad really pissed me off today.  We were talking about how much Aiden wore out my brother while my brother was staying here because my brother has never been around a toddler.  My dad started talking about how Aiden always wants attention and gets mad if he doesn't get it and then says "He's really very spoiled."

Ok so yes, when he wants your attention, he WANTS it.  But for us he plays independently.  With my dad and brother, not so much because they are infrequent guests and he soaks in the time with them.  But what really pissed me off was the use of the word spoiled.  To me that puts the "problem" (which I don't consider to be more the toddler behavior) on me and DH, as if we have allowed Aiden to run the house and we cater to his ever demand.  We don't and I really resent my dad making that statement.  /vent 

[Deleted User]

This is when I would ever so lovingly reply to my dad, "Oh, shut up old man.  Shady Pines." 

Our relationship might be different than yours though. 

SoDoMojo

These damn kids and their desire for our attention. God! Brats, every one of 'em. 

[Deleted User]

BostonKisses2:

sofamonkey:

This is when I would ever so lovingly reply to my dad, "Oh, shut up old man.  Shady Pines." 

Our relationship might be different than yours though. 

This made me lol 

It's funny because it's true!

MarSamWhitney

My dad says the same thing and I just had to let it go. It was really starting to tick me off.

ougrad1

Are you taking it a *little* to personally?

ABColeslaw

I hate the word spoiled....it means rotten...literally.  So yeah I hate it.  I also hate brat.

MrsSR

People sometimes say that DD is "spoiled"... I just respond, "yeah, she's really rotten..."

Swainb

I tell people DD is spoiled rotten all the time, I'm proud of it.

ASmallWonder

ougrad1:

Are you taking it a *little* to personally?

Well that's actually my point.  Intentional or not, it's a comment on how we are parenting because a child doesn't become spoiled without the influence of others, right?  If he had said Aiden is demanding or strong willed, that would have been about Aiden's personality.  Calling him spoiled means SOMEONE spoiled him. 

blowfish11

Meh. I don't mind the word spoiled.  I am fully aware that my kids are spoiled from time to time.  But that doesn't make them brats.  

DD was with a nanny for about a year when she was 18 months to 2 1/2 and a mother of another child our nanny watched called my daughter a brat. I nearly ripped her hair out. "Brat" bothers me MUCH more than "spoiled".

gimmietimmies

sofamonkey:

BostonKisses2:

sofamonkey:

This is when I would ever so lovingly reply to my dad, "Oh, shut up old man.  Shady Pines." 

Our relationship might be different than yours though. 

This made me lol 

It's funny because it's true!

That's awesome!

ougrad1

elmoali:

ougrad1:

Are you taking it a *little* to personally?

Well that's actually my point.  Intentional or not, it's a comment on how we are parenting because a child doesn't become spoiled without the influence of others, right?  If he had said Aiden is demanding or strong willed, that would have been about Aiden's personality.  Calling him spoiled means SOMEONE spoiled him. 

Nah, he was probably teasing you to get a rise...he got it.  : ) 

ASmallWonder

ougrad1:

elmoali:

ougrad1:

Are you taking it a *little* to personally?

Well that's actually my point.  Intentional or not, it's a comment on how we are parenting because a child doesn't become spoiled without the influence of others, right?  If he had said Aiden is demanding or strong willed, that would have been about Aiden's personality.  Calling him spoiled means SOMEONE spoiled him. 

Nah, he was probably teasing you to get a rise...he got it.  : ) 

Oh.  No, he definitely wasn't.  He actually was in a cranky mood so I'm not going to let it weigh on me but in the moment I was ticked

MrsPteranodon

Meh, my kids are spoiled for sure. I'm a SAHM and while we have rules and stuff. I am fairly easy on them compared to most of our friends with kids the same age

persephonerose

Yes it must be terrible to have a child actually seek out an adults attention and want to be involved with them when they come visit. (sarcasm)

If that makes your child spoiled then I would be ok with it. At least your child isnt throwing temper tantrums in the store because they cant have toy/candy or pushing/hitting other children to get their way. 

Kitiara5512

persephonerose:

Yes it must be terrible to have a child actually seek out an adults attention and want to be involved with them when they come visit. (sarcasm)

If that makes your child spoiled then I would be ok with it. At least your child isnt throwing temper tantrums in the store because they cant have toy/candy or pushing/hitting other children to get their way. 

MoonlitPlumeria

My MIL called Z spoiled and it really angered me... probably more than it should have. But she is my first child and so yes, I'm probably too lenient and I probably give in too much, but we hardly spoil her!

ASmallWonder

persephonerose:

Yes it must be terrible to have a child actually seek out an adults attention and want to be involved with them when they come visit. (sarcasm)

If that makes your child spoiled then I would be ok with it. At least your child isnt throwing temper tantrums in the store because they cant have toy/candy or pushing/hitting other children to get their way. 

Well, the thing is, he does throw temper tantrums when he doesn't get his way  But even then I say that doesn't make him spoiled in and of itself.  IMO spoiled is that you give in almost 100% of the time and they pitch a fit whenever there's an exception, solely because it's so rare and they expect to get their way because they ALWAYS do.  Once Aiden decides he wants something, even if he's never had it, he'll pitch a fit.  I could tell him, no Aiden, we don't touch that and if he throws himself to the floor, I chalk that up to being 2 but I don't give in.  Maybe I'm wrong.  I kind of thought that at age 2, all kids do that because they're trying to assert themselves and push typical boundaries.

ShellShockedMama

my mother throws the word spoiled around whenever she doesnt agree with me. then she turns around and says I'm too much of a disciplinarian bc I put him in time out when he is naughty. 

not sure how I manage to spoil and discipline too much all at the same time.  

Kitiara5512

elmoali:

Well, the thing is, he does throw temper tantrums when he doesn't get his way  But even then I say that doesn't make him spoiled in and of itself.  IMO spoiled is that you give in almost 100% of the time and they pitch a fit whenever there's an exception, solely because it's so rare and they expect to get their way because they ALWAYS do.  Once Aiden decides he wants something, even if he's never had it, he'll pitch a fit.  I could tell him, no Aiden, we don't touch that and if he throws himself to the floor, I chalk that up to being 2 but I don't give in.  Maybe I'm wrong.  I kind of thought that at age 2, all kids do that because they're trying to assert themselves and push typical boundaries.

Some kids do it more than others, but that doesn't mean they are spoiled, it means they are learning boundaries. C has just started in the last couple of months to throw whining fits if he doesn't get what he wants, and usually he wants one of his iphone/ipad apps. We are working on it, and it will take time, and in the mean time, it means we have to put up with, and ignore, his fits.