Parenting after 35

Anyone did 2U2?

Hello ladies,
DH and I got the shock of our lives yesterday when we found out I am pregnant again!  We were on the fence on whether to have a second, but knew that if we did, we were going to try to do it fairly quick.  It looks like things were decided for us =)  I am overwhelmed at the thought of having two little ones 17 months apart, and trying to hold together my career, marriage and family life at 39. I would love to hear any advice and experiences =) TIA!
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Re: Anyone did 2U2?

  • jcathjcath member

    OMG!  Congratulations.  What exciting news.  People have babies close together all the time. My nephews are 18 mos apart, on purpose. A good friend has two 15 mos apart.  There are several ladies on the multiples board that have 3 under 2.

    I think the conventional wisdom is that the first year is hard and then you are golden. You'll be just fine.

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  • Congrats!  My girls are 21 months apart.  We started TTC a few weeks after DD#1 turned 1 and got a BFP the 1st month.  I was 37 when #2 was born.  I was tired.  I work full time and my DH is very involved.  What helped us get through the hard 1st 12-18 months (it really does get a lot easy as #2 gets older) is a lot of team work and for me - if I needed help, I had to ask.  Put your pride aside and tell DH exactly what he needs to do and how you want it done.  Ask other family to help, to watch the kids so you can get some you time or the very much needed and must have date nights with your DH.  You need to keep your relationship at the forefront for the rest to work.  And remember that while the beginning will be hard and tiring, it is so worth it when you see how close your kids will be - my girls are best friends and while they fight, they love each other and would do anything for the other.  They are now 4 years (this past March) and 6 years (this past June) and I LOVE having them so close in age.
    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
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  • PeskyPesky member
    congrats!  Mine were barely 2U2 -- by 8 days!  But a friend of mine had her two 16 mos apart and says while hard, she loved it.   They went through the same phases together so it some respects it was a little easier in the long run.

    DD -- 5YO
    DS -- 3YO

  • smerkasmerka member

    Mine are 49 weeks apart so 2U1.  In some ways that's easier than farther apart (baby stil immobile during first tri, older kid doesnt remember being without the sibling, etc).  BUT it is really hard on your body.  I'm 39 and feel like I'm 70. 

    You will survive because you have to and you won't know any different.  Try to enjoy it!  It goes very fast. 

  • Thank you so much for all the stories and advice.  I really appreciate it and feel better hearing how close our two will be later on.  It  makes the daunting part of the first year or so seem less overwhelming (probably until I have to go through it!).  
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  • Congrats Haribo! I hope this is a lucky omen for me and I can be PG at the same time as you again! My cousin had her babies 14 months apart and wouldn't have it any other way. She loves it but that's all she knows. GL to you and H&H 9 months!

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  • Mine are 14&1/2 months apart...I was 35 (almost 36) when I had #2.  Little younger than you but not much.  We did plan ours to be close, even though inbetween the 2 we had a miscarriage and made us think do we really want #2 (since #1 was a preemie) we thought maybe we should only have 1.  So the month we were waiting before we could try again we ended up pregnant!  Crazy how things work.  It has been hard, the hardest part for me was when #2 was a newborn.  Once he started sttn life got much easier which he is a very very good baby and basically has sttn since he was 8 weeks old.  Now #1 was never ever like that.  DH is very hands on so that helps a lot.  DH does work late a lot so in those times it's harder but still very doable and like others have said it gets easier as they get older.  Or for me atleast...can't wait for #2 to be off the bottle.

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  • shut the front door!!!

    oh my, congrats girl.  my boys are almost 4 years apart, so i have no advice, just sending you lots of good wishes ... 

  • How about 3u3? Going from 1 to 2 wasn't that bad. Took a little getting use to, but I became a pro at has been a little difficult being pregnant with 2u2, but I hear that it won't be too rough of a transition. GL
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  • Congratulations!

    We did 2u2 on purpose, mostly due to my age.  I was 37 and 39 with each.

    It was a bit of an adjustment the first month or so, but nothing like adjusting from 0 to 1.  It got a bit more challenging when dd started walking and now the two are always getting into something or fighting too loudly or playing together too hard, but I wouldn't change a thing.  

    My only advice is to let things go, like housework and such, in the beginning.  You'll be more in survival mode and the less you have to stress about, the better.  You'll benefit from frozen meals for the first several weeks or having friends/family bring dinners in (I didn't cook for 3 weeks because so many friends brought meals each night).  

    Wearing the baby helps free up hands and allows you to focus on your older child and other things.  I found it to be a lifesaver.


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