How lucky they are **Ticker Warning***

Heatherhah

So DH's has 3 cousins and our SIL that have been pregnant since we lost Sydney. I think I handed all of the pregnanies pretty darn good.

Well the last one to deliver was last week and I simply put a message on Facebook to my MIL that I hope all of the new moms in our family know just how lucky they are to have their babies. Her reply was " she sure does know how lucky she is". I just replied with umm okay. Well MIL text me and said that DH's cousin knows exactly how I feel because her new baby boy was delivered limp and not breathing and blue. I was infuriated , Her baby is alive she has no idea how I feel her baby didn't die mine did. Her baby is home with her , okay she had a scare but he is alive my baby isn't. I was so upset with my MIL she has been one of the ones to totally be so understanding after our loss of Sydney. I was just taken back a bit.

I know I am pregnant now and I think sometimes they think I have forgotten about my Sydney and there is not a day that goes by that she isn't the first and last thing on my mind.

 Heather

sebailey6

In reading your post, that is one thing I am a little afraid of is others forgetting about Kalani. Especially if we get pregnant again. Kalani is, and always will be, the first and last thing on my mind everyday.

I'm sorry for the loss of your precious Sydney. You just hold on tight to your memories of her. She knows her mommy loves her and will never forget her. Ever!

Heatherhah

Thank you sebailey6 I saw your intro and wanted to tell you that I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet Kalani. I know your loss was very recent and it is so hard those early days as the days become weeks and weeks become months it is still hard but it tends to be a little easier than those early days. I will never forget my sweet Sydney she was our 3rd baby and we wanted her as much then as we do know.  

I don't post here much since there are a lot of recent new additions to this group and I don't want to upset anyone seeing my ticker at the bottom but I am still here silently for all of my loss moms!!!

Hugs to all of the moms!!

Heather

sebailey6

Thank you Heather. I also want to say congratulations on your pregnancy. Strangely, I don't feel the jealousy of women who are pregnant. One of my closest friends just had her baby a few days before Kalani was born and was just as happy as I would have been had things not gone this way. I just can't feel jealous of something that is out of our hands for some reason. Everyone is different though. I hope I continue to feel that way for others' happiness in getting/being pregnant/having babies:)

StephK86

*****SIGGY WARNING*****

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What an ignorant thing to say. You are a much better person then I because I would have given her a piece of my mind. I don't know maybe it's because I have been through over two years of ignorant comments but I just can't let them (most of them) go. I would have replied with something alone the lines of: Do you think your child dying and your child almost dying are anywhere near the same thing? Sure she had a scare but I had to go through the real thing which is incomparable. I am at home now wishing my sweet baby is with me, while she is at home cuddling hers. She will watch her child grow, learn, laugh and play. While I will only be able to imagine what that would be like. I miss my baby every single day and I have to hurt every single day. Although I am pregnant again it does not replace my child in any way.

You may not want to start conflict and I understand but sometimes you have to let people know how you are really feeling. Nobody wants to put themselves in your shoes for even a minute. So sometimes you have to make them. Especially those close to you. I used to let everything slide until the stupid comments just never ended. Then I had to let a few people know how hurtful they were being. You have enough on your plate you don't need your family being hurtful not helpful.

pottermommy

Hugs my dear.

Bayberry12

Oh Heather it is almost unbelievable that she would say something like that!  I don't know if I would have handled as well as you did.  That was so insensitive of her, it just makes me sad and mad for you.

I often wonder what a future pregnancy will be like for me...will people forget that I went through it all before, will they forget about Stella, will they think that being pregnant again will make it all better.

I guess some people just can't completely understand what you have been through and what you are still going through, no matter how close they are to you.  

weddedwife

Wow that sucks! How did you respond (or did you?)

Just when I think I've heard just about all the stupid crap people can say, I hear a new one  

Heatherhah

Weddedwife-  I just told her that DH cousin had no clue how I felt yes she may have ben scared but her baby is home with her and healthy my baby is dead. What gets me the most is my MIL has been the one to be of great suport during our loss of Sydney she usually doesn't say dumb stuff until that comment. I just kindly explained that infact it was not the same and it will never be the same ever.

This is just another dumb thing people say before thinking.

Heather