Attachment Parenting

DD hates pretty much all of our carriers

Hi ladies, this is my first post here and I hope that you can help!

DD is 7 weeks old, and weighs somewhere around 10lbs. She's always been very 'free spirited' with her limbs - she hates having them confined, and only agreed to be swaddled for the first 2 weeks while she was still in the newborn 'stupor' (even then, she'd always managed to break her hands out of the blankets, no matter how they were tied). Now, she hates all 4 of the carriers that we own for different reasons, and gets really angry really quickly in all of them (not just a little bit of fussing) - the Moby and fitted sling that we have are too restrictive (I've also tried to get creative with the Moby since it's really just a lot of fabric, but it's just complicated to tie on my own in any way other than the 'standard'), she refuses to sit 'frog legged' in the mei tai (which is kind of like in Ergo, it seems to me, so I doubt she'd accept that either), but her legs are still too short to just hang out the sides, and the Baby Bjorn pushes her legs too far apart which she also doesn't like. I did just order the K'tan because I saw a youtube video that showed how to wear younger babies while still allowing their legs to dangle (I'm hoping that the soft fabric will be more comfortable than the Bjorn for her). So if the K'tan doesn't work out, the only other carrier that I can think of trying is a ring sling (because it might give her more room than the sized slings that I own). I should also mention that DD's favorite position is to be held vertically with her head peering over my shoulder, so the ring sling might not work because it would force her to lie down horizontally. She doesn't have reflux, by the way - she just really likes to be vertical when held.

I'm getting really frustrated because, while she doesn't mind being put down for 15-20 minutes (and sometimes even prefers that to being held), she still wants to be held most of the time so I can't get anything done with trying to support her still wobbly head. Also, it's hard to go anywhere because our carseat doesn't fit in the stroller, and since we live in the boonies the stroller always has to be packed in the car (which is small) and driven anywhere we go. Do you have any advice or suggestions on how to either get her to like being carried, or what I should do/get? Again, I'm placing my hopes in the K'tan that's supposed to arrive tomorrow, but I'm anxious about it not working out either...


ETA - I tried walking around and moving quickly while she was in the above-mentioned carriers, but none of that seemed to distract her from screaming... It's possible that I didn't hold out long enough and should've just let her fuss a little longer (I've had some people tell me that sometimes they fuss at first, but then can learn to like a carrier), but she just gets so MAD!

Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml

Re: DD hates pretty much all of our carriers

  • My daughter hated all my carriers too, granted I didn't try as many as you! I just gave up, AP is about meeting your child's needs so forcing her to be worn when she preferred just to be held didn't seem right. I understand that it makes for a hard time getting around though.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • I totally agree.  I know we as parents have our ideas before the LO comes about what we're going to do--baby wear, breastfeed, etc. Sometimes, our LO (or our own bodies or whatever) dictate what must happen instead.  We just have to sigh and roll with the baby's needs.

    This may not be very AP, but my DS loved his bouncy seat. It allowed me to get things done and he was content.  He was never very snuggly (wish he was) but that had its benefits, too.

  • Loading the player...
  • I have a beco gemini and you can make the bottom more narrow so an infants legs can come out.  I also just got a ring sling and the clerk at the store said to not put them in cradle style unless you are nursing due to possible safety issues.  The suggested hold is tummy to tummy, which would allow your lo to be up near your shoulders the way you described.  The store I went to allows you to try them on with your LO I recommend going to a store if possible. 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker BabyFruit Ticker
  • I was all for baby carriers and they would have made my life so much easier - I could have made myself breakfast & lunch everyday!! But alas, my daughter was a vigilant wiggle worm and really wanted nothing but my arms to hold her. Babywearing was just not her thing. If I walk fast enough, she'll tolerant the moby for a little while, but not long, and certainly not at the pace I would use to make myself breakfast. 

    If she's willing to wiggle in a pack n play watching you fix yourself breakfast, that's great. It may not be the AP ideal, but it's what works for your baby - enjoy the easy solutions when they come.  

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Ditto everyone that if she is happy to just be by herself that's fine too.One thing to try, my babies fussed in the carriers if they hadn't just been fed, it was like they didn't like being so close to the milk but not getting any :)So I had to feed them and then put them in right after.
  • Is there a babywearing group in your area? That is a great way to try out carriers without buying a ton. Also, what baby likes this week may be different next week. They change so fast, sodon't give up if this is something important to you.
  • Thanks everyone! I really do hate forcing DD into the carriers, so I pretty much never do it... Sometimes I re-try to see if she's changed her mind, but otherwise I don't bother. I do hope that the K'tan works, though, because otherwise it'll be pretty tough going places that are either not stroller friendly or for just short stops that would be a hassle with the stroller (for instance, I need to go to the pharmacy for 1 thing today). We'll see!

    The babywearing group idea is interesting... I'll see if I can find something! I've heard of that back when we lived in another state, but nothing here yet. It WOULD be great if there was a place where carriers could be tried before purchase since they're so expensive.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • My daughter hated most all carriers until she was closer to six months and could go on my back.  Oh, she'd tolerate the bjorn on walks and if I was bouncing on a ball, but mostly didn't like being worn.  She also had to be carried pretty much nonstop (15-20min to put her down would have been amazingly wonderful!).  Give her time, and keep trying.  What is true today will likely not be true next month or the month after.  And it'll get a lot easier when she has head control.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • What kind of holds are you doing in the Moby?  DD hated the Moby until I started putting her legs out.  I know the two newborn holds in the Moby pamphlet say to have their legs froggy but my DD hated that.  She really likes the hug hold

    I also have a mei tai and at 4 months old it is still not comfortable for my DD.  I think her legs are still a bit short for it. 

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • I wouldn't let my child get angry or upset if they didn't want to be in a carrier. Some kids just don't want to be worn. That might change in a few months though. For now, I would ditch the carriers honestly and reintroduce them in a few months to see if she warms up to them.

    If your stroller doesn't fit your carseat, how about a snap n go? You should be able to score one on CL for cheap, and they don't take up a lot of trunk space at all.

    I would try a bouncy seat or swing to see if she likes those items.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards