Lost my son at 15 weeks with no answers...

linzeeh80

Hi ladies, I recently lost my son on 6/1/12 at 15 weeks 2 days and was wondering if anyone had a similar experience to mine. I found out I was pregnant when I was 4 weeks and everything was fine until 7 weeks 5 days. At this time I started bleeding, we went to the hospital and I was diagnosed with a subchorionic hematoma but it was very small and my son was fine. I spotted lightly on and off  until 9 weeks 6 days. After that no more bleeding and everything was going great. I also had 4 ultrasounds from the time I started bleeding until I lost him and he was always perfect, good heartbeat, growing on target everything. They thought I may have a bicorniate or septated uterus. 2 out of the 4 ultrasounds showed it was possible but they weren't concerned with it. Then when I was 15 weeks 1 day I started getting cramps and a little spotting so I went to the hospital the next day and the did a scan but he was still perfectly fine even the hematoma was gone so they sent me home with the diagnosis of a uti and gave me antibiotics. In a matter of 6 hours my water broke and I was in active labor and rushed to the hospital but it was too late. My son, the placenta and everything all came out together at one time so there was no need for a d&c.  I had a saline infused ultrasound a few weeks later to look at my uterus and this time they also thought my uterus was septated but a very mild case just at the very top, so an MRI was ordered to confirm and this showed that my uterus was completely normal except there was possibly a fibroid or maybe a scar from the pregnancy but it was only 1/2 cm by 1 1/2 cm and the doctor said it would not have effected my pregnancy and there is nothing to be done about it. That is the only thing that was determined. We didn't get an autopsy on our son so we don't know if something was wrong with him or the placenta. This is so frustrating, I just can't understand why this happened, I was so careful. I did everything right. My doctor gave us the ok to ttc after my first period and that was on 7/3/12 but I am so scared that it will happen again. How does a perfectly healthy baby die if there is nothing physically wrong with me at that point in my pregnancy? Does anyone have any feed back or experiences with this? Anything would be greatly appreciated... I'm going crazy

eroplane

I am so sorry for the loss of your son. I don't have any answers but wanted to say welcome to the group. Lots of supportive ladies here to listen and give advice. 

Big hugs.  

dandywarhol

I'm so sorry for the loss of your son. Did you name him? The loss of a baby when nothing appears to be wrong can be beyond belief, yet it frequently happens.

I had my 3rd loss at the beginning of July at 16wks. After my two previous losses the doctors were watching me and the baby very closely. I had a number of ultrasounds where everything was fine. We saw the heartbeat at all appts. and I had no spotting, no nothing and then at 16w4d we found out the baby had died. Fetal demise they called it. I chose to "deliver" the baby in the OR in case they had to do a D&C and also so I could be as drugged up as possible. After delivery (they ended up doing a D&C for part of the placenta) the dr. told me that there was nothing obviously wrong with the baby. We did choose to send it for an autopsy/pathology report in hopes of finding out if there was some chromosomal abnormality. My OB/GYN said that sometimes there is a chromosomal abnormality and the fetal demise/miscarriage is mother nature's way of ending the pregnancy. It doesn't seem right or fair but it happens. And it sucks. And it hurts. And it is surreal.  But it doesn't mean that you did anything wrong. And it doesn't mean that you don't love your baby and wouldn't have done anything to keep the baby safe and healthy.

linzeeh80

Thanks Ladies, I am so so sorry for all of your losses as well We did name our son... Grayson Harper and he was cremated. I have his hand and foot  prints (so tiny yet so perfect) and also pictures in a sealed envelope that they gave us... I never saw him... I couldn't and I feel so guilty that I didn't. I just didn't want to remember him that way... if that makes sense. To me it is frustrating because most women I talk to their baby died and was later discovered  by ultrasound or no heartbeat detected etc. I had an ultrasound done hours before and they said he was perfect... I don't understand how in a matter of hours he could seem fine and then die? It baffles me beyond words. I also don't understand how the ER doctors didn't know I was in labor... I was for over 24 hours... it just got a lot worse towards the end. I try to make myself believe that there was something chromosomally wrong with him and that's why it happened but it's so hard to believe when there were no signs that there was anything wrong with his development... the day I lost him the ultrasound tech literally had me there for a half hour and scaned everything... one thing weird that stuck out to me was that he was breech and facing my back looking towards my tailbone and that seemed odd to me but she said it was normal and they move constantly but he was also born breech not that that makes a difference I guess. Idk just frustrated and confused but really glad I joined this board because no one in my life understands so it's nice to have found women that do. Thinking of all of you and wishing you peace in these difficult times xoxo

lmielocl1

I am so sorry for your loss of sweet Grayson Harper (a beautiful name).  I do not have a similar experience as we found out 2 weeks after seeing our Ethan being very active during our amnio and a week after his perfect amnio results that he no longer had a heartbeat (he had a SUA and the cord had wrapped around his neck multiple times.)  I wish there was more I could do or say but please know you are in my thoughts & prayers!!  (((Hugs)))

- Leslie

~ Mommy to Aaron, 21 months, and to our angel, Ethan James, born sleeping at 18w on 6/15/12. 

Williamandshawnna

I am so sorry for the loss of your son Grayson. I can not relate to your specific situation. But, I did lose our 3 sons one month ago, we always had perfect ultrasounds, heartbeats and growth all right on track, and then my water broke on baby a, 1 week later all three were born too soon to make it. We chose not to see our sons for the exact same reason, we wanted to remember them as they were in our ultrasounds, bouncing all over the place. And I still feel guilty as well. Your feelings are all normal and the what if's sometimes seem to keep on coming, but there are no answers for some of us, other than there was nothing WE did to cause this. May you find peace in this journey and through the amazing women on this board. ~~~HUGS~~~

-Shawnna 

weddedwife

I'm so sorry for the loss of your son Grayson. I lost my son at 22 weeks 4 days due to classic preterm labor. I had been seen 3 days prior, had an u/s and my cervix was checked and was long & closed. 3 days later I went into labor quickly and delivered him. He was perfect and alive until moments before I delivered him but he wasn't strong enough to survive the delivery.

During my pregnancy they were concerned about me having a septate uterus. We had a ton of scans to investigate and they ruled it out, deciding that it was just some extra uterine tissue and wouldn't interfere with the pregnancy in any way. I had to have a d&c after the birth due to the placenta coming out in pieces, so after that procedure was done the tissue was gone. I had an HSG to confirm that my uterine cavity was normal.

We too have no reason why we lost our baby. He was healthy, my pregnancy was normal. I did have a lot of spotting during 1st trimester but they didn't think it was abnormal. I went into preterm labor and they don't know why. My first pg w/ DD was normal and totally uneventful; she was born full-term.

I went crazy researching and looking for answers, but there just weren't any to be found. It's devastating to know that we lost our son for no reason; when we tell people this they are in disbelief. But crappy things happen, there's just no other way of putting it. It doesn't get any crappier than this.

I hope you find comfort here; this place was a lifeline for me in the months following my loss, and I continue to find comfort here.

Mrs Nice

I am so sorry for your loss of your son, Grayson. I'm sorry that you don't have any answers. I had a different experience but I did have an ultrasound the day before I lost my son and everything was fine. It turned out that his umbilical cord was around his neck 3x and there was a true knot in it. Apparently they can't see the cord in an ultrasound. 

I hate that you have to join us but I am glad that you have found us. The ladies here are wonderful.

Big hugs to you!