Answers at check up

cmenasco

We found out for sure yesterday that our little girl did have Trisomy 18 (what I had feared since my ultrasound at 18 weeks!).  Our 18 week ultrasound said that we had cyst in the brain (my dr. said DON'T worry they usually all go away by 21 weeks) and also a SUA that they said they also see that with out any problems.  My gut told me otherwise and it was so hard to get excited about this pregnancy like I did my first.  I could bring myself to buy any girl cloths, pick a name or feel relaxed until she was delivered and healthy....which never happened.

My Dr. said that now with my age (35) and having one baby with Chromosome abnormalities our chances of another are 1/1000.  I know that is few, but still scares the $%*# out of me!  She suggested meeting with a genetic counselor.....have any of you done that??  Anybody else have odds like ours and still going to try?

I do feel better that we do have answers and it was something super rare (1/3000)!!!, but why us??  why my baby?!!?!?  Thanks for listening girls!  Hope everybody is enjoying the weekend.

cherrycobbler

Sorry you got that news.  It's just crushing to hear that.  I was 36 when we delivered and our son had Tri13.  We were offered genetic testing for us, but we figured (maybe stupidly) that how unlucky could we be that one of us caused it.  We just prefer to think it was random.  I also had the thought of it was my genes that caused it, I would feel so guilty and fear that my dh would blame me (though he says he wouldn't).  And other way around-if it were him I would hate to all of a sudden blame him (even though right now I say I wouldn't).  I know that we probably should see a genetic counselor, but honestly, that almost scares me more than trying again.  So I don't know our odds, I know it could happen again, I know my risk is higher than an average woman of my age, but I also know that it might not happen.  Even if our odds were 1/10, there is still a 90% chance everything will be ok-and I like to think that is pretty good.  Seeing a counselor will not give me a definite answer of a future baby's outcome, just going to make sure to do genetic testing on the little one in utero.  (Just going through life with blinders on) And yes, I'm completely terrified too!

LuckEinLuv

We did see a genetic counselor after we found a cyst on Andrew's back in utero. The cystic hygroma raised my chances of having a baby with chromosomal issues in that pregnancy to that of an older woman (40?) when I was 32. Andrew ended up being chromosomally fine but then had the heart issues. I don't think it raises my Hanes for a subsequent pregnancy at all. I do have to tell you that the genetic counselor was a huge part of my support system when we found out how sick Andrew was. She was wonderful!

LuckEinLuv

Duplicate post

yosemitemom

I'm sorry for your loss. I'm not sure if we'll try again. Our daughter had two seperate, severe brain malformations. One malformation has 1:30,000 odds. The other is about the same. They said our risk of recurrence is anywhere between 1-25%. It ranges so widely becuase they don't know if it is linked an autosomal recessive condition. If I was in Vegas, I'd take those odds. But, the thought of having to go through a termination again? I don't think my heart, or my head, could handle it.

I agree: why us? Good luck with your decision.

weddedwife

They say that knowledge is power, so I think it may be worth at least meeting with the genetic counselor. Then you would know what you are up against and could still make whatever decision you choose.

It sucks that after a loss, the statistics cease to be comforting, even if the odds are small. The odds of me losing my baby when I did were 1/150. That's a 0.5% chance, but once you've been on the losing side of the statistics, they are no longer encouraging.