Parenting after 35

Potty Training failure :-(

Well, after 2 days of no success, DS has begged me to keep wearing diapers, and we have agreed.  I really was  so frustrated with the situation, and he did try.  So I am looking for advice.  We set him on the potty first thing in the morning, and he sat, and sat, etc. No luck. Gets up to wash his hands, whizzes all over.  This is the same situation all day, and we only have 1 toilet.  Diapers went on at nap, pool time, and at night. 

How will we know when he is ready? I know that there are many books on the subject, but any recs that worked would be appreciated?   

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Re: Potty Training failure :-(

  • My technique might be a little odd. My daughter was just lazy and stubborn. With diapers, they go and we change them. With clothes, it's the same. So, I made her wear (at home) the wet clothes for about 20 minutes after she wet them. She didn't like that. She was potty trained that day. Some might call it cruel and unusual, but... She's hard headed like her mama.
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  • That's what my neighbor did with her 3 boys.  Turned them loose in the backyard and when they peed, she left them wet and uncomfortable for a while and it didn't take long for them to figure out that wasn't any fun.

    I haven't yet started with C.. he's only mildly interested in the topic and we have a big road trip next month.. not going to deal with potty training until after that.

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  • DD was pretty similar.  I was so frustrated we went back to diapers.  She wanted to go to preschool and they require them to be potty trained.  She didn't mind being in wet clothes so I started using pull ups (I know most people don't like them) and just kept asking her if she needed to go and to remember to keep her "underwear" dry.  She did for a full week so we transitioned to panties and she was dry ever since.
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  • PeskyPesky member
    Have you talked to your pedi about whether this is a physiological issue or some other potential medical reason?


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  • mwdmwd member
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Comments

    Thanks, ladies, for the input.  I have not tried just letting him sit in wet pants, so that is a next step.  I honestly think he doesn't know when he needs to urinate, so the pull-up may not be a bad option.  Daycare is leaving it up to me (grr). 

    Pesky, the next step is to call the pediatrician.  He has a 4 year old appt in Sept. but I thinking to call before then.  But I will keep trying. 

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  • Lots of boys train late (like more than 3 1/2 yrs late), don't give up. Find something that appeals to him. DS was never potty trained officially (he was on dialysis for a long time, no need to pee), so boys are out of my experience, but I do know my aunts trained their boys outside in the summer, and taught them to water the bushes, etc. They were outside trained quickly and then inside trained them shortly after. Apparently watering the bushes was terribly appealing.



  • image FyreFlyeRush:
    My technique might be a little odd. My daughter was just lazy and stubborn. With diapers, they go and we change them. With clothes, it's the same. So, I made her wear (at home) the wet clothes for about 20 minutes after she wet them. She didn't like that. She was potty trained that day. Some might call it cruel and unusual, but... She's hard headed like her mama.

    this is actually a natural consequence.  We have ruined potty training cues by making disposable diapers too absorbant.  wet undies (or cloth diapers) are supposed to feel uncomfortable to discourage soiling oneself. 

    With my dd we just took her diaper off, she didn't want to pee down her legs.  I tried the same with dS with hilarious consequences ( of course he peed all over)  for pee training, I showed ds that when daddy pees in the potty it makes bubbles in the toilet, then he wanted to make bubbles too.

    I found this website on pintrest and thought it was good:

    http://domanmom.com/2012/07/things-you-can-do-with-your-baby-to-make-it-easier-to-potty-train-later/

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  • I started when the boys were about 3 1/2.  One of them was done with #1 in about 3 days.  His brother, on the other hand, took about 2 weeks (at least!).  He was wet all the time.  I decided I didn't want to "go back" to diapers so I muddled through.  He wore pull-ups to school (they are supposed to be pt to go there) and at naps and at night.  The rest of the time, he wears underwear.  Living it was hell but he is finally good with #1.  He has yet to go #2 on the potty though.  This has been, BY FAR, the worst transition for us.

    Did you talk to him about why he wants to wear diapers?  Easier?  No interest?  Scared?  That may give you a clue.

    I also tried having them stand up after my husband showed them what to do.  When they say they don't have to go, I sometimes turn on the water or whisper (pssssst) in their ear and it sometimes works!!  Since he went when he was washing his hands, it may trigger something.

    I have also heard to try peeing on cheerios as targets in the potty to make it more of a game but we never tried that.

    Since Brady took a long time, I had him (and still do) wear Gerber training pants (the cotton ones), then a regular character pair of underwear, then his regular clothes.  This helps contain the pee when we are out.  I also have him wear light colored shorts (like heather gray) so I can see if he has an accident.  Nylon shorts suck for absorption so I try to avoid those for now!

  • You will know when he is ready as he will tell you or show you by staying dry and asking to use the potty.  Give him the tools, ask him every so often if he wants to try and sit on the potty but don't force it - when you are doing routine things like getting ready for bed, getting dressed in the morning, before bed/nap - ask him if he wants to try.  The more you push, the may he may say no.  Some kids just get it and some take a long time.  With my youngest who was way harder to train - it all had to be her way and on her time frame - if we or her daycare teachers brought it up - she refused but when she was ready, she told us and that was pretty much that.  I would just back off for a while and see what he does.
    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
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