Help! Demanding 11 month old

peanut2b

My DD will be 11 months old very soon.  Because she is home with me 80% of the time (daycare 2-3 days a week only), she is very attached.  She is finally growing to trust Dad and she has always trusted my sitter (although given the choice, she still chooses me).  My problem is that she is very vocal about her disdain for ANYTHING.  She screams when I or my sitter leaves the room, she screams when we tell her no.  She starts to swipe at us in her frustration (we are telling her NO and grabbing her hand when she does it and it is stopping, slowly but surely).

The girl can scream at the top of her lungs and use her entire reserve of bodily strength to claw her way out of your arms if she doesn't like what's happening.  She does this often.  She SCREAMS if we take a toy away and she SCREAMS if we keep her away from something and the screaming does not stop for a VERY long time.  This has been going on for a few months now.  For example...if I have her bottle, she will demand that I bring it to her and if I don't she throws a fit of toddler proportions.  Kicks the floor, screams at the top of her lungs, cries like she's getting hurt, and refuses to move.  I have tried not giving in and making her crawl the 2 feet to me but she is so stubborn.  

Any ideas?  What can I do?

peanut2b

FYI...this is my second.  Her brother was a dream baby and took no as the final word and simply moved on.  I suppose you could say that I haven't been challenged yet.  LOL!

peanut2b

oh and she sleeps like a dream.  She actually DEMANDS sleep too.  I put her down at 7 and I TRY to read her a few stories.  She gets through one book and then THROWS the others while clawing her way out of my arms reaching for her bed.  Once in her bed, she lays down, puts her fingers in her mouth and goes to sleep until anywhere from 6am to 730 with no waking in between.  So she's amazing in many aspects but challenging in others.  HELP!

peanut2b

Oh...one more thing....she won't let us feed her.  If you come at her with a spoon, she throws her hands around like she is really trying to hit you...she will grab the spoon and throw it.  She is very independent.  She will only eat if she can feed herself...which we try to allow but she never actually gets the spoon in her mouth yet and she won't accept any help.  So we try to stick with finger foods that she can feed herself and she's happy.  Bottom line...she wants to do it herself or she will scream at you.  Screaming is the theme here.  And if you don't get the food on her tray fast enough, you hear an ear piercing scream until it gets there.  I tried sitting back and letting her scream it out but she was so upset that she couldn't eat.  Even if I do try to hurry with her food, she screams.  AHHHHHH!!!!

dairygirl19

I'm pretty sure that's pretty normal kid stuff.

My 1 year old has always been like that. She's a very easy going, textbook, happy baby for the most but she's a screamer and likes her way. Hell, she screams for fun a good share of the time.

There's not much you can do about it at this point. I do a lot of redirection and "let's calm down."

I ignore it for the most part though. Engaging just escalates the stress.  She's 11 months old, she'll get over it eventually.

peanut2b

Thank you.  I guess my son was a bit abnormal.  He was an absolute angel.  I always said he was the only baby you could reason with.  You told him "no hunny, that's dangerous and could hurt you" he seemed to say "oh.  Okay.  Let's move on."  My DD seems to say "No!  I want to find out just how dangerous it is!  I wanna do it on my own!"

 

dragon_chica

Tantrums: I ignore almost all of them, especially if it's due to something like taking a toy away.  Once LO is calm I then say, "You really wanted to play with the toy didn't you?  You must've felt sad.  You can play with it after lunch."

Feeding: What's wrong with letting her use a spoon?  Some kids don't like to be fed and if that's her than so be it.  Give her a spoon, a large bib, and let her have at it.  If you still want some control feed her in between her self-feeding.  Otherwise accept the fact that she's a baby and everything will be messy.  It makes for cute pictures!

maisigh

dairygirl19:

I'm pretty sure that's pretty normal kid stuff.

My 1 year old has always been like that. She's a very easy going, textbook, happy baby for the most but she's a screamer and likes her way. Hell, she screams for fun a good share of the time.

There's not much you can do about it at this point. I do a lot of redirection and "let's calm down."

I ignore it for the most part though. Engaging just escalates the stress.  She's 11 months old, she'll get over it eventually.

This sounds a lot like my daughter too! I should have named her Shrieker instead of Gwen...

I started making her come to the bottle some of the time if she's pitching a fit. I'll have it ready, sit down and wait for her to come to me and she'll scream and cry for a few minutes then repeat a time or two before she's close enough for me to pick her up. It can take some time, especially if they're already used to something, but it can be done.

And like Dairygirl says, ignore it. The tantrums get shorter and they learn to move on to something else. I actually think they're funny, but I try not to laugh. I have seen too many tantrums in my life for them to have a serious negative effect for me.

I guess what I'm trying to say is you have to separate your emotion from the situation in order to really do what you want to do with her behaviour.

erikaplustim

peanut2b:

oh and she sleeps like a dream.  She actually DEMANDS sleep too.  I put her down at 7 and I TRY to read her a few stories.  She gets through one book and then THROWS the others while clawing her way out of my arms reaching for her bed.  Once in her bed, she lays down, puts her fingers in her mouth and goes to sleep until anywhere from 6am to 730 with no waking in between.  So she's amazing in many aspects but challenging in others.  HELP!

I am so jealous of this.