TTC after 35

WTF Results after IVF #1 Failed :(

My appt was this afternoon - I knew our cycle didn't go well but wasn't prepared for what I was told.  We did Lupron this cycle and we were told we could go on and try another cycle with an antagonistic approach (not sure what this means) but our chances of conceiving are really low - so much so he doesn't suggest we try IVF again.  We used ICSI on this last cycle to help with the severe MFI but nothing will change the quality of my eggs and they aren't good :(  My RE told MH and I if we want children we need to look at at Donor Eggs/Sperm or adoption.  When we started this process I looked great on paper but clearly all those tests have no correlation to my egg quality.  We are not interested in using Donor Eggs/Sperm or adoption - we are completely out of pocket and for certain reasons these are just not viable options for us.  This is by far the worst day I have had in this IF hell we have been living in - MH wants to get a second opinion and I agree to a point - but how much different could the second opinion really be - if my eggs are shot then they are shot.  Another part of me just wants the ability to mourn this process and move on - am I wrong to feel this way?  When do you finally say enough is enough and really walk away? 

Me 38 MH 41 - TTC since June 2010 - dx with Severe MFI. Straight to IVF with ICSI. IVF #1 - ER 06/13/12 - 9 Eggs Retrieved - 4 ICSI'd - only 2 fert. 06/15/12 - 2DT - 3 cell & 6 cell with fragmentation. Beta 06/29/12 - IVF #1 = BFN. 07/20/12 - WTF Appt -Told by our RE to quit IVF. Second Opinion from RE is good. IVF#2 - November 2012. Estradiol Pills Started 11/6. Stims start 11/16. ER 11/26 - 7 eggs retrieved - all mature. 4 fertilized with ICSI. ET 11/29 Transferred 3 embryos. Beta is 12/10. 1st Beta 81 2nd Beta 160 and 3rd beta 360!!! First U/S 12/21/12 - We saw one beautiful gest. sac. 2nd U/S is 01/04/2013 - H/B 183 02/05/13 - NT Scan - everything looks good and IT'S A BOY!  Aiden was born 08/20/2013.

IVF #2 is in progress.  ER was 05/12/14 - 11 eggs retrieved, 8 fertilized with ICSI.  ET was 05/15/14 - we transferred 3 embryos as we did on the cycle my son was conceived.  We were able to freeze 3 embryos. Beta is scheduled for 05/26/14.  1st beta - 111.  2nd beta - 159 didn't double :( 3rd beta Friday 5/30) - not a lot of hope left. Beta # 3 is 247 - probably ectopic.  Beta # 4 is 813 - possibly vanishing multiple sydrome?  06/05/14 - 5w4days - first U/S - we see a gestational sac and yolk - still have hope!  06/17/14 - 7w1day - U/S and saw and heard the heartbeat - Finally!  06/27/14 - 8w4days - Baby and heartbeat look and sound great :)  EDD 02/01/14 and It's a boy!


 "Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end."


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Re: WTF Results after IVF #1 Failed :(

  • I'm so very sorry. Many T&P'S as you and DH decide how you want to move forward. 
    Lucky Mom to 5 girls: 09/97, 06/99, 10/02, 11/04, 04/08 & Peanut #6 due in April! Pregnancy Ticker Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • I am so incredibly sorry that you got such disappointing news. ((hugs))

    I have to admit, my first thought was "2nd opinion." I just think that with such a major, life-changing decision, it makes logical sense (not that much of TTC/IF is logical) to just double-check and be certain that the doctor's professional opinion is based on solid facts. Not that I'm questioning your RE, but look at IrishGirl/McIrish's RE Dr. Check-- totally different direction/approach/view of their situation. Now, maybe your eggs are not high enough quality, but if all your tests came back okay, then what criteria is your RE using to make this determination?

    Ultimately, though, you have to do what is right for you and for your marriage.

    ((hugs)) again and I wish you peace with whatever path you choose.

    *********************************************************************************************

    "You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was." 
            -- Abraham Lincoln
     

                               Me:39  MH:39 
    DD born 6/1/2013 after 15 months of TTC with one loss.    
    TTC #2: BFP 4/22 but stalled growth and no HB at 9w3d on 5/30        

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  • Get a 2nd opinion. Where do you live?  I think it is highly ridiculous to make the leap that ALL your eggs are of poor quality after 1 IVF.  The drug cocktail used can totally influence that and you need to find one that is better for you.  You got nine eggs!  You only need one normal! If money permits, I would get a 2nd opinion and try again. I needed 4 cycles before I was ready to accept my fate. The number is different for everyone on when they've had enough. But I will always push you ladies to try again!

    I have been in your shoes. I get it. Take time to process this. No one decides overnight to be done and trust me, I balked at donor eggs initially. Now I am doing it. Your perception of the end goal changes over time as you hit these road blocks and have to reset your course. It is hard. Hugs.

    TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
    DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
    5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
    OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
    DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
    DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
    CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
    DE IVF #3 1/14  ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d

    DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
    First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!

    K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days

    imageimage

    SAIF/PAIF Welcome


    http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com

  • PS listen to Edwina on your IF post. She is brilliant. The sperm DNA frag is a must. I forgot about that since I just went to the EQ issue. It's not always our eggs..

    TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
    DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
    5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
    OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
    DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
    DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
    CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
    DE IVF #3 1/14  ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d

    DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
    First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!

    K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days

    imageimage

    SAIF/PAIF Welcome


    http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com

  • I am so sorry about your results. I also agree with pp to get a second opinion if you can. I was never "pushed" into DE I just knew with my age and only having one shot DE was the path for me. Good luck with your decision...big hugs.

    ME:46 MH:44 DE IVF 2014
    Met with RE 4/11. 2 IUI's BFN. DE best option. Switched clinics to do "shared" program. Had to retake all tests and a mamm that put me behind and then on a DE waiting list for 12 months. Picked a donor!! (10/13/13) Got matched. Estimated transfer in December. After 2.5 years of patiently waiting I will finally cycle....can hardly believe it. DE cycle got cancelled. One of her tests came back positive.  Waiting for another donor. Donor picked!! (1/18/14)

    DE IVF #1 (4/26) BFN  DE FET #1 (6/4) BFP! Beta 1=339 Beta 2=852 Beta 3=9957 EDD 2/22/15!!


     

     

         imageimage 
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  • As everyone stated above I agree you definately should get a 2nd opinion. I don't like that at 36 your RE said that your basically done, sounds like he's not interested in delving deeper into your situation. There are always other options to consider..good luck!
    nate and teddy
    Me 41 DH 46  Not actively ttc, surprise BFP on 1/6/11! 4/1/11 m/c our sunshine at 16wks after complications from CVS test. TTC #2 **5th cycle 12/6/11 BFP! Missed m/c at 9 weeks 1/21/12, trisomy 14. Two Chemical PG 3/12&7/12
    ** BFP 8/16/12 beta #1 148! beta#2 407 beta #3 4000 u/s 9.10 1 lovely hb 126, Baby Boy is due 04/28/13!!
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  • I agree with everyone, get a 2nd opinion.  Sorry you got hit with the news from your RE, I'm sure it is not easy to hear that they are giving up on you.  And McIrish is right, it may not be just EQ, there could also be a sperm issue, so looking into the DNA frag test is one I would pursue also.  I think your RE is taking the easy way out.  You need to find one willing to work with you to optimize your chances whether it be protocol change, frag test, PGD, supplements, acu, etc.  Lots of hugs to you.

    Me:40 AMA, DH:36 0% morph, TTC#1;
    BFP#1 4/2011, MMC 6/2011 11wks Trisomy 13;
    BFP#2 11/2011, CP
    FSH: 17.9, AMH: 2.2
    IVF#1 w/ICSI: ER 4/3: 5R,4M,4F
    ET 4/6 All 4 (1-8A+, 2-8A-, 1-3A) BFP#3
    Two weeks of beta hell = Blighted Ovum
    IVF#2 Aug/Sept: ER 8/27: 4R,3M,3F
    ET 8/30 (1-8A+, 1-6A+)
    Beta#1 9/10: 350; Beta#2 9/12: 796; Beta#3 9/20: 9155
    Expecting Boy/Girl Twins! My babies were born 4/23/13 at 36w1d!

     
     

  • I'm so sorry.  You're getting some great advice, I really hope this one doctor's opinion doesn't cause you to stop trying. Big e-hugs for you.
    Me: 38, PCOS/ DH: 37

    DD born 12.21.09, conceived w/ injects and IUI



    TTC#2 since Nov 2011

    BFP 2.6.12 m/c 6w5d | BFP 5.25.12 c/p

    -Back to the RE-

    3 medicated IUIs, all BFN

    -Taking a break from treatment-

    BFP 11.20.12 ~ EDD 7.28.13

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    My Chart
  • imageMrs.McIrish:

    Get a 2nd opinion. Where do you live?  I think it is highly ridiculous to make the leap that ALL your eggs are of poor quality after 1 IVF.  The drug cocktail used can totally influence that and you need to find one that is better for you.  You got nine eggs!  You only need one normal! If money permits, I would get a 2nd opinion and try again. I needed 4 cycles before I was ready to accept my fate. The number is different for everyone on when they've had enough. But I will always push you ladies to try again!

    I have been in your shoes. I get it. Take time to process this. No one decides overnight to be done and trust me, I balked at donor eggs initially. Now I am doing it. Your perception of the end goal changes over time as you hit these road blocks and have to reset your course. It is hard. Hugs.

    I live in Northern CA - UCSF is where I'm at currently.  I told my RE the same thing you said - I got 9 eggs he responded to this by saying 5 weren't mature and the 4 they used weren't great with ICSI and only 2 fertilized which suggests there are issues with egg quality because ICSI should have a higher rate than 50% and we didn't get that.  He did mention that the embryos were poor quality and I asked then why bother doing the transfer - he couldn't answer that for me.  He understands that we are OOP and said why break the bank?  I asked if we could do PGD - he said this will never happen for us because our embryos will never make it to 5 day and we will end up losing the whole cycle anyway.  I knew we would struggle to pay for another cyle but I never thought we would get our walking papers so to speak from the RE - completely unexpected.  I should add that he also told me my beta on the last one wasn't a 0 but a 4 which drives my crazy and he admitted there could have been something there but we will never know.  It was a lot to absorb in an hour meeting -  I think I'm still in shock. 

     

    Me 38 MH 41 - TTC since June 2010 - dx with Severe MFI. Straight to IVF with ICSI. IVF #1 - ER 06/13/12 - 9 Eggs Retrieved - 4 ICSI'd - only 2 fert. 06/15/12 - 2DT - 3 cell & 6 cell with fragmentation. Beta 06/29/12 - IVF #1 = BFN. 07/20/12 - WTF Appt -Told by our RE to quit IVF. Second Opinion from RE is good. IVF#2 - November 2012. Estradiol Pills Started 11/6. Stims start 11/16. ER 11/26 - 7 eggs retrieved - all mature. 4 fertilized with ICSI. ET 11/29 Transferred 3 embryos. Beta is 12/10. 1st Beta 81 2nd Beta 160 and 3rd beta 360!!! First U/S 12/21/12 - We saw one beautiful gest. sac. 2nd U/S is 01/04/2013 - H/B 183 02/05/13 - NT Scan - everything looks good and IT'S A BOY!  Aiden was born 08/20/2013.

    IVF #2 is in progress.  ER was 05/12/14 - 11 eggs retrieved, 8 fertilized with ICSI.  ET was 05/15/14 - we transferred 3 embryos as we did on the cycle my son was conceived.  We were able to freeze 3 embryos. Beta is scheduled for 05/26/14.  1st beta - 111.  2nd beta - 159 didn't double :( 3rd beta Friday 5/30) - not a lot of hope left. Beta # 3 is 247 - probably ectopic.  Beta # 4 is 813 - possibly vanishing multiple sydrome?  06/05/14 - 5w4days - first U/S - we see a gestational sac and yolk - still have hope!  06/17/14 - 7w1day - U/S and saw and heard the heartbeat - Finally!  06/27/14 - 8w4days - Baby and heartbeat look and sound great :)  EDD 02/01/14 and It's a boy!


     "Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end."


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