feelings, what ifs, and questions for anyone with IC

amber7111

i dont want to go into post overload but i didnt quit get it all out last time. first i cant stop the feeling of wanting to punch dh in the throat because late saturday night i was freaking out cus i knew something wasnt right even after i spoke with the dr on the phone...she said i was prob fine with contractions and discharge if there was no blood..even contractions at 21 weeks is ok it was prob braxton hicks..but after getting off the phone something still was off and i went to bathroom and i didnt know what it was at the time but i felt my membranes bulging. i yelled for dh and he got aggravated and insinuated i was LOOKING for a problem. the nerve of him. i tried to make him feel what i was feeling down there to see but he didnt want to. finally i went back in the living room and started again about it he told me to lay down and hush the dr said i was fine..i screamed at him dont f*ing tell me to hush i know somethings wrong. went back to the bathroom felt again and started screaming cus membranes were trying to come all the way out. dh comes in feels and tell me lay on the bed and calls 911. after everything happened i couldnt help but snap at him dont you ever tell me to lay down and hush again i knew something was wrong. he apologized and i felt bad but im still mad at him for thinking i was looking for something to be wrong. i have been wondering if i had lost him early around 6 or 7 weeks or so, before we knew he was a boy, before we named him and picked out outfits and bedding and carseats and such if i would feel any less pain. i really think it wouldnt hurt as much. i dont wanna offend those who have had early m/c or assume my pain is greater than their but im just saying for me i would have rather it happened earlier. i think. before i saw his face and knew he was a he. but then again maybe not cus i would always wonder what he looked like and if he was boy or girl. i would wonder who he favored most when he came out (btw he had my nose..that was the most noticeable feature as far as who he got it from). idk i guess no way would be an easier way. also i have not yet had my ppartum visit..they told me at the hospital i had IC but i cant wait til thurs to ask questions. does anyone know if you have IC will you always have it or was this a possible one time fluke? will i be high risk next time and would they want to put a cerclage in or just maybe? how possible is it to carry to term after a 2nd trimester loss? will i have to be on bedrest in next pregnancy? and not that im gonna jump right in tomorrow and try to conceive but how long do they usually make you wait to ttc after a loss at 21 weeks? i heard they usually cant diagnose IC until after you have had a 2nd trimester loss but do you think they would have seen on the 20 wk u/s that my cervix was open? cus my dr didnt look at my u/s and thurs when i had my appt i left the dr and called 3 ppl rantin and ravin that she didnt read my u/s after a week and 2 days later i went into labor. do you think it could have been neglect on her part for not reading or would it not have shown up even if she looked? i dont think i can confront her with these questions without breaking down or having her cuss me.

weddedwife

Post all you need to, it's okay.

I'm not a Dr. and I'm just speculating here but I also think its possible your cervix couldve changed within a week or less. I'm not sure how much they look at your cervix during an anatomy scan if they do at all, maybe someone else more knowledgeable could chime in here on that one. But I agree that if they saw a problem they would've called an OB in to take a look or sent you over to their office, assuming they are at the same facility. To not do so would seem like serious negligence.

I too think you need to ask your Dr. all these questions. I wouldn't worry about offending him/her. My guess is if you have these feelings about your Dr. not watching you closely enough or not taking you seriously, you're going to be finding a new Dr. before you get pg again. Lots of women do; I did. PgAL is very scary when you've had a late loss and you're going to need a Dr. you feel comfortable with and trust 100%.

There's a lot of mamas on PAL who have had IC and gone on to have healthy babies afterwards. Yes, IC is typically something you will be treated for in all future pregnancies. But the good news is you'll be watched very closely. IMO you'd definitely be high risk.

My loss was at 22 weeks. The Dr. told me to "wait a few cycles" before TTC. That said, it took me 9 weeks post loss to get my period. The feeling that you want to get pg again right away is pretty common. Only you can decide when you are emotionally ready but if you give your body a little time to heal your baby will have better chances in your next pregnancy.

Please feel free to keep posting as much as you need to, that's what this board is for! 

eroplane

Like the pp's said - post here whenever you have a question or just need to vent. We are all here for you!

I delivered my twins early due to IC or PTL - the doctor's aren't sure which came first. I am leaning more towards the IC because my cervix was changing from 19 weeks on but maybe my "irritable uterus" was in fact PTL in disguise and that caused my cervix to shorten. I think I read somewhere that you can also have a dynamic cervix that will shorten and "lengthen" on it's own? I agree with pp that if the US tech would have seen cervical changes on your US then they would have alerted the doc. I believe the cervix can change quickly and unexpectedly. 

I delivered my son head first and my daughter breech but was given the ok for TTC (fertility treatments) after my first cycle or two. They said it was more of an emotional aspect vs health/body.

I strongly suggest to write down the entire play by play of your pregnancy and all/any questions you may have for the doctor. I felt a little OCD going in with my lab results and questions but I got everything answered to the best of their ability. I asked, begged about a preventative (trans-abdominal cerclage) cerclage but was told that I wasn't a candidate for one. My doctor told me that if it was indeed PTL that a cerclage wouldn't stop squat. I will however be watched by both my OB and the high-risk MFM physician with any subsequent pregnancy. My RE also said that bed-rest at 24 weeks was a high probability.

If you are interested, google abbyloopers, they have a lot of information about the trans-abdominal cerclage (TAC). 

I am so sorry you are going through this. I hope you get answers at you pp visit. Big hugs.