Okay, so here's why I'm asking... — The Bump
School-Aged Children

Okay, so here's why I'm asking...

...about the socks and sandals thing.  See "summer feet" two posts below this one.

I have a friend whose 6 y/o son often wears socks and sandals.  He's cute as a button, and if any child can pull off the socks/sandals look, it's him.  

However, this same child has some speech and social issues.  They're in the process of having some testing done to figure out what they're dealing with.  He has been teased/bullied in daycare by older kids.  He's been fine in K, but he's a little behind the other kids socially.  My friend is always on the lookout for potential bullying problems for her child.  She's very protective of him and very concerned about his social well-being.

The child is going into 1st grade.  If he was entering K, I wouldn't be concerned at all.  But first grade is different.  As more and more of the kids pass through that maturity boost that seems to come at age 7, "fitting in" becomes more important. 

So, should I say something to my friend if the opportunity arises, or keep my big mouth shut?  We're very close, and I could probably find a way to bring this up fairly diplomatically.  On the other hand, I'm not sure how well I'd take it if someone told me I was letting my kids dress "funny." 

High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade

Re: Okay, so here's why I'm asking...

  • Are you even allowed to wear sandals to school?  Our school does not allow sandals or croc type of shoes.  They have to be closed toe shoes or sneakers.   I see kids of all ages and sometimes grown-ups too at the grocery store wearing socks with their rubber sandals all the time.  I wouldn't say anything.
  • rsd12rsd12 member
    imagelittlemermaid:
    Are you even allowed to wear sandals to school?  Our school does not allow sandals or croc type of shoes.  They have to be closed toe shoes or sneakers.   I see kids of all ages and sometimes grown-ups too at the grocery store wearing socks with their rubber sandals all the time.  I wouldn't say anything.
    I was thinking the same thing. Guess that is why it never phased me with the socs and crocs, since he can't wear that to school or church ; )
    Boy 1 2/06 - Boy 2 12/07 - Boy 3 9/09
  • Loading the player...
  • The "no sandals at school" thing is a good point.  I hadn't even thought of that.  My son's ES only forbids flip-flops.  Crocs and other sandals are fine.  Preschool had a "no crocs" rule because they are so big and clunky that kids had a hard time engaging in playground activities, which is a part of the preschool experience.

    I loved crocs because a small kid can put them on independently.  My son also wore velcro sneakers until his OT said he was ready to learn to tie laces, which was the start of 1st grade. 

    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
  • Auntie -- I was hoping you'd reply. Thank you.

    This is exactly what I'm concerned about.  I'm not an expert on the PDD spectrum, but I see some things in this little guy that are often present in greater degrees in kids who have some sort of PDD dx.  (The same is true for my son with different issues: lots of subtle sensory things + anxiety, but nothing that rises to the level of a dx.)

    Right now the parents are approaching things from a speech-language angle (mostly articulation, which they've been working on since he was about 18 months), but I strongly suspect there's more going on than strictly speech.

    I suspect that he's not at all attuned to what's considered "cool" by his classmates.   His mom and I spent a lot of time today talking about what's typical for boys this age.  I did not mention the socks/sandals thing specifically, but I did stress that as kids get closer to age 7, there is less tolerance among them for kids who do not stick with social norms.

    In good news, he showed up for our playdate today in a very "first-grade-tested" Yoda shirt with athletic shorts and normal sneakers with low socks.   

    She said he occasionally frustrates other boys at school who like sports because, in the middle of the game, he'll start pretending to be some character (Luke Skywalker, Pikachu) and throw the ball to the other team, etc.  He's played soccer and done sports camp -- he just doesn't get it that when you're playing soccer, you're in a whole different mode of social engagement than when you're playing pretend.  Also, he's just not that competitive.

    FWIW, he does well with my slightly older son, who also prefers pretend play to sports and games.

    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
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