Co-Sleeping Question

plutoisaplanet

Good morning!

I'm new to this board (and parenting in general!), but through lurking am finding that we agree with many of the ideas that are found in AP.  

That being said, I have a question about co-sleeping & bed sharing.  DS is 5 weeks old tomorrow, and is in general a fantastically happy baby - we're very lucky.  I am BF him but it has been a struggle (he was born at 34w5d so he spent time in the NICU, was bottle fed and had formula...thankfully it was a short stay and we've now moved to eating at the breast!), so when he woke up in the middle of the night I would bring him into the living room, he'd eat, then we'd go back to bed.  This was leaving us exhausted (me) and overstimulated (him) so this week, I began just bringing him from the small travel crib he sleeps in next to our bed into the bed with me and feeding him there.

 Overall it's working out fantastically well!  There's dim lighting, we're never fully waking up and it is meaning longer periods of sleep for both of us.

He's never had any issues sleeping in his own travel crib.  We swaddle him and he passes out.  But since we've begun bringing him into the bed to eat, and he's laying next to me, he seems to not want to go back to his travel crib (and I can't blame him - the bed is nice and cozy!).  Last night, out of sheer exhaustion, I let him sleep next to me, and we slept for a total of 4 hours (which is our longest stretch ever).  

Now for the question: Even though it was successful last night, I still find myself nervous about bed sharing with an infant.  Our mattress is firm, but when I am right next to him, I depress the mattress and he tends to roll sort of onto his side (does that make sense?).  I can support him with my body, but I'm not sure this is safe.  Further, what about covers?  Can I use a sheet or is this ill advised?  Finally, if we decided NOT to go the bed sharing route, how might I work on getting him comfy again in his own bed?

Thank you for reading all of this, and thanks for any input!  We really appreciate it. 

00jennifer00

Check out www.askdrsears.com.  There are some great co-sleeping how-to's on there.  It's where I went when I first started learning about co-sleeping.

nosoup4u

My DH and I used separate blankets when we co-slept with my older son as a baby. It's okay if they sleep on their sides, my kids always did. I think it's not recommended to swaddle and co-sleep at the same time, as the baby can't move around as much when they're swaddled (not sure where I read that, though!).

He's still really little, so I wouldn't stress a huge amount about him sleeping by himself. My kids started being able to sleep for a decent stretch in their own cribs around six weeks. We'd put them down asleep and then sneak out. Just do whatever works right now, in all honesty!

tokenhoser

We bedshared a lot from birth to about 6 months.

My personal "rules" were one pillow for me + a body pillow on the side away from baby (so that I was positioned in a way that I could fall asleep and not move, but still nurse), 1 sheet or light blanket for me, baby unswaddled and dressed lightly, and I got a bed rail just so he couldn't accidentally move off the bed. He usually slept between me and my arm and often we both fell asleep nursing.

I have no advice on getting him back in the crib as we just waited until he started going to bed at 7 pm and then started him in the crib. It's gone back and forth as things worked differently, and now he's FT in the crib as he spends his time climbing me if we try to cosleep now.

plutoisaplanet

Thank you so much for all the help - I appreciate it. 

I also recall reading somewhere that you're not supposed to swaddle at the same time, so I have not been doing that.  I like the advice about the body pillow...I need to look into it!

 

tokenhoser

A regular pillow under your hips might help. I just had the body pillow from pregnancy, and it lifts me up enough that my boob hits baby-mouth level.

I think I got more sleep when he was new than I have lately. *yawn*

GoldenPeaches

I sleep with my arm extended and DS sleeps in the crook of my arm. That position works best for us for side laying nursing as well.

I pull a light blanket up to my waist level. 

RandiDeeAnn

What about "side-carring" the crib. Google it! You can co-sleep/bed share at the same time! I love it. I had a hard time transitioning DD1 to her crib from the bassinet and she ended up in our bed for a while (not a bad thing, though). We discovered the side car method when she was a little older. I decided to start the next one there so she'd be used to her bed, but BF would be easy and she'd be close. It's working very nicely and if I want her in bed with me, that's easy, too.

easjer05

When I was on mat leave, I frequently pulled DD into bed for morning naps because she would fuss so much and I was so tired.  It's ok for them to sleep on their sides, though their back is ideal.  DD has been a side-sleeper for a long time, which is why this worked so well for us, I think.  I usually positioned her on the right, up against the body pillow (her back to it, facing me), in the crook of my arm.  I couldn't roll over onto her that way (not without breaking my shoulder first), and she was cuddled and secure and couldn't roll off the bed.  I could also shift from my side to my back without disturbing her.

We don't do that often anymore, as we are working on getting her ready to transition to her room in a few weeks.  I used to think I would never bedshare.  Ever.  It was the only "I will never" when I was pregnant.  But when I needed sleep and things weren't working. . . I did get nervous, but I found that position worked really well.  And I enjoyed the closeness and cuddles.  In fact, I laid down with her like this just tonight when she was fussing too much.

mkflower3000

I felt the same way when we started to sleep with DD. To be honest, I've always used blankets with her, and it's never been an issue - I just never cover her higher than her armpits. What might help (and I'm hoping also helps us transition DD to the crib entirely when she's older), is to use a co-sleeper or take the crib and move it right next to your side of the bed with the side rail of the crib taken off - that way the crib becomes an extension of your bed. So far that's worked nicely for us!

sadsadie

If you're nervous, it's for good reason; bed sharing co-sleeping (especially without any kind of safeguards) is dangerous. Better to be safe than sorry.