*Loss Check-In*

Mrs Nice

Hello Ladies,I am sorry to have to welcome new loss moms this week but am so glad that you have found us. I hope we can bring each other some much needed comfort and support. Please feel free to join in when you are ready and share as much or as little as you wish. Also, if you have any questions you would like answered, just ask! Any lurkers out there please don't be shy, we would like to be able to support you too.Do you associate your angel(s) with any season or time of year? How do you approach that season now?Do you ever feel judged in your grief, that you are not "making progress as you should"?Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?GTKY: What is the one thing that you cannot go without regardless of the cost? (ie. anything brand name, food, cosmetics, etc.) 

karebear57

Do you associate your angel(s) with any season or time of year? How do you approach that season now?Fall and winter/christmas time b/c she was born in Oct. and supposed to be born jan. 17. I'm definitely not looking forward to fall and winter. Also weddings. I found out I was pg with Bri on my friend's wedding day and found out I lost her on my sister's wedding day.
Do you ever feel judged in your grief, that you are not "making progress as you should"?Absolutely!! I think my sister thinks I should be '"over it"  since I lost her before she made it to her due date. And since I have the boys and she hasn't gotten pg yet (not telling her doc either to help her). I haven't really talked to her in over a month, she kinda has a way of being insensitive w/o realizing it. I suppose I should talk to her but she always takes over and says your wrong for how your feeling and how she feels.My dh used to think I should be "ok" but now he's starting to miss Bri more and more each day so I think he understands me a little better now. 
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?Brianna, always and forever. Nervousness over trying again at the end of the yr and the what ifs, some selfish. 
GTKY: What is the one thing that you cannot go without regardless of the cost? (ie. anything brand name, food, cosmetics, etc.) Resee's peanut butter, ritz crackers, and no store brand or hills bros coffee. I'll gladly pay the extra $$ for good coffee beans, thank you very much! 

tuscanbride2007

Do you associate your angel(s) with any season or time of year? How do you approach that season now?

Spring time because that is when she was due and was born. My DD kept asking when spring was here because she wanted to play with her little sister. I think March will always be a hard month for me now.

Do you ever feel judged in your grief, that you are not "making progress as you should"?

I think I judge myself more than others do. I try and be strong for everyone else, not let them see me cry or comfort them when they say something to me about our loss. I don't like to show emotion to people that I don't know so I always walk away from a situation that I feel is going to make me an emotional mess.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

Well, this is the weekend that I have been dreading: my birthday and going to visit my pregnant SIL. I hope to get through it without either breaking down or getting rip roaring drunk!

GTKY: What is the one thing that you cannot go without regardless of the cost? (ie. anything brand name, food, cosmetics, etc.)

Definitely have to say facial products. I have sensitive skin and if I use a generic brand or something that isn't gentle on my skin, I break out.

Heatherhah

Do you associate your angel(s) with any season or time of year? How do you approach that season now? For me the fall is going to be tough she died sept 30 so we just started the fall season and the fall is my absolute favorite season but nowit seems so jaded to me. I love all things halloween and now I dont know how I will see the fall from now on. We are fast approaching her 1 year angeversary and I am worried how I will feel. I miss her and wish she was here.

Do you ever feel judged in your grief, that you are not "making progress as you should"? I don't feel judge people get it and they understand I will never be the same again.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? I miss my baby girl !! I wish she was here with us getting bigger every day.

GTKY: What is the one thing that you cannot go without regardless of the cost? (ie. anything brand name, food, cosmetics, etc.)  a little TMI but we call them butt wipes !! You always need a fresh bum!!! LOL

jbranden12

Do you associate your angel(s) with any season or time of year? How do you approach that season now?Probably with springtime. This spring was a CRAZY butterfly season for us. We didn't have a freeze this winter so they were everywhere. We will always think of Patricia when we see a butterfly. 
Do you ever feel judged in your grief, that you are not "making progress as you should"?I don't feel judged, but that's because I don't really talk about her with people other than my family. But that's mainly because we haven't really seen most of our friends since we lost her. I worry much more about people judging me because I'm acting normal and it seems like I've forgotten her, than I worry about people thinking I'm not making progress.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?ttcal and finishing my summer class.
GTKY: What is the one thing that you cannot go without regardless of the cost? (ie. anything brand name, food, cosmetics, etc.) hmm. I can't really think of anything. When I moved to Denmark, I gave up all of my food and cosmetic brands and found new ones, so I can adjust.

Lavender&Lillies

Do you associate your angel(s) with any season or time of year? How do you approach that season now?

I think I will always associate spring with Braxton because we lost him in April and he was due in May. However, I also feel like fall and winter will be hard this year because of all of the memories I have of being pregnant with him. I will try to focus on how happy we were when I was pregnant with Braxton and will hope to be pregnant with our rainbow soon. Although I know that is easier said than done. 

Do you ever feel judged in your grief, that you are not "making progress as you should"?

Sometimes I feel judged in my grief. I know that some people think I should be moving on now. I am starting to know who I can be more open and honest with about my grief and for the most part I feel like those people are supportive of me no matter where I am in my grief because they are still grieving along with me. Sometimes I think that my husband worries about me being too sad, but I think overall I am doing well in my grieving process. There are bound to be up days and down days in this journey.  

Open Topic: What is on your mind this week?

I am a teacher and am working on my National Board Certification this next school year, so I have been focused on taking the steps I need to get that started. 

I also continue to think about TTC since this is our first cycle. It is strange because this is the same time of year when we started TTC with Braxton. I am really trying not to stress about it, but that is another thing that it easier said than done. 

Of course, Braxton is always on my mind. I miss him so much. 

GTKY: What is the one thing that you cannot go without regardless of the cost? (ie. anything brand name, food, cosmetics, etc.) 

I have to agree about cosmetics. I have to be careful to buy makeup, moisturizer, sunscreen, etc. that is good for sensitive skin.  

Thanks for posting these check-ins! I look forward to them every week! 

Lbloom

(Siggy Warning)

 

I'm new here. How long has this board been here? I thought there was only the miscarriage board?? Good to see the support here.

I just passed the one year mark at the end of June. I hated the whole month leading up it. The flashbacks, nightmares all came back like it was yesterday. Then, after it was over, I felt a little empty, like I was expecting some amount of closure but didn't get it.

lyndley

<signature warning>

Do you associate your angel(s) with any season or time of year? How do you approach that season now?  We found out that our angel no longer had a heartbeat on the first day of spring this year.  Where I live we get lots of rain but usually very little snow, maybe 1 or 2 inches and it's gone within a day or 2.  That night, we got a crazy storm and it snowed 8 inches. 

Do you ever feel judged in your grief, that you are not "making progress as you should"? Usually people tell me that I amaze them with how strong I am.  I smile and thank them but inside I'm thinking that they have no clue, that I feel like a complete basket case and that I still cry myself to sleep most nights.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? My husband and I got our BFP this week.  We are thrilled and excited but so nervous and scared.  I feel blessed that we were able to get pregnant so quickly but I don't think I will breathe easily until we bring this baby home.  We came up with a creative way to announce our pregnancy to our families last time and are planning to do another creative announcement this time, but we're probably going to wait another month or so before we tell anybody.

GTKY: What is the one thing that you cannot go without regardless of the cost? (ie. anything brand name, food, cosmetics, etc.) Heinz Ketchup.  I put it on everything.  My husband teases me that I put ketchup on my ketchup. 

 

An angel in the book of life wrote down my baby's birth. Then whispered as she closed the book, "Too beautiful for earth."

dandywarhol

Do you associate your angel(s) with any season or time of year? How do you approach that season now?I'll always associate Sylvie with the fall. Our little thing, even before she was born, was acorns. About a week before her birth I had attended my great aunt's funeral/memorial service (she died at 102) and during a family walk after the service I picked up an acorn for Sylvie and thought it was such a nice way to introduce family, nature, and love to my little girl. After she died I purchased a little acorn necklace that I wear almost every day in her honor.With my most recent loss I think I will always associate him/her with Christmas as s/he was due in mid-December and thought that having my rainbow would be the best Christmas present ever. This Christmas is going to suck as it should've been our first Christmas with Sylvie or our other LO. 
Do you ever feel judged in your grief, that you are not "making progress as you should"?Not judged by anyone other than myself. Sometimes I worry that I'm making too much progress and haven't grieved properly. Then other times I am more accepting that this is my journey and it will take me on an unknown path. 
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?I'm very angry this week. Angry at the world, angry at my situation, angry at others. I'm trying to find an outlet for this anger but so far little has worked. 
GTKY: What is the one thing that you cannot go without regardless of the cost? (ie. anything brand name, food, cosmetics, etc.) I guess I would have to say sneakers. Except in summer when it is flip-flop season I wear my sneakers all the time.