Afraid

raeah219

I really want a natural child birth. I want my baby to come when he/she is ready and to be healthy with no interventions at all. However, I am afraid because I have never seen a healthy birth. My mother has Lupus and it caused all 3 of her children to be born very early and have to stay in the NICU. We are all very healthy now, but she did end up losing her last son after he was born early, he lived for 6 weeks. 

I am terribly afraid that I will have the same experiences as my mother did. I do not have lupus, however I do have traces of the Lupus Antibodies (ANA) in my blood. My OB has me taking one asprin everyday because the positive ANA can lead to clotting. She says that I shouldnt worry and that I am not high risk in any way but it still scares me to death.

Does anyone know if a mother's history is a clear indicator of what the daughters maternity experience will be like?  

perplexed59

My midwives swore up and down that your mother's experience in pregnancy has absolutely nothing to do with what your pregnancy will be like. If you can, stop stressing about it. The stress is not good for you or the baby and will plant doubts in your mind about your labour experience. Continue to talk about your fears to your OB but try to focus on how you want your labour to go and prepare yourself with all the resources you need to make sure you are well educated for your labour. Start reading some books and watching some video's of healthy, happy births so you know what they look like. 

My pregnancy was not like my mother's at all. I did have a labour that was very similar to my mother's but I think that was a fluke. 

raeah219

perplexed59:

Continue to talk about your fears to your OB but try to focus on how you want your labour to go and prepare yourself with all the resources you need to make sure you are well educated for your labour. Start reading some books and watching some video's of healthy, happy births so you know what they look like. 

that is great advice, than u so much 

00jennifer00

I don't really have anything for your question, but I recently learned that my neighbor has Lupus.  She has one son, she had him by c/s, I think post due date because he was a big boy.  She didn't get dx'd with Lupus until after her pregnancy though.

footnotegirl

Hey there, hoping to reassure.

1. My mother had short, easy labors and births, all just before their due dates. My LO had to be pushed out with three days worth of induction (though still a painkiller free birth). So yeah, what your mom had happen is not any real indication of how things will be for you.

2. I have had positive ANA tests (negative as well) and have an ideopathic immune disorder (they thought lupus for a while, but it's not lupus) for which I take Plaquenil and aspirin, and for the last 3 months of my pregnancy, I was on a shot a day of Lovenox. And I gave birth to a perfectly healthy little girl without any complications.

Things should be fine. Listen to your health professional and look forward to your baby. 

zaramarie81

My Dh's mom went through something similar... all her babies were preemies and she lost one. This has greatly affected my Dh's perception of labor and delivery. Meeting with a doula helped us greatly. She helped us talk through our fears and educated more on childbirth. My Dh is now much more relaxed regarding this issue. Try not to stress... you are not your mother and you are not doomed to have the same experiences. Surround yourself with as much support as possible... also if for some reason your baby is coming early, then are you open to going to a hospital instead of trying to labor at home? There's no shame in using interventions/getting medical help if needed (this is something I've struggled with too as I really want birth to go a certain way... but seriously, there is no shame in getting help when needed!)