Infertility Veterans

Can I join you, not sure if I belong?

Hello

I would love to join you but I am not sure if I belong and I do not want to offend anyone by posting here.  We were shattered when we found out that our not being able to conceive was due to DH having Azoospermia due to CBAVD because he has atypical cystic fibrosis. The cystic fibrosis was and still is a shocker.  I joined the Infertility board and the Azoospermia/No Sperm board when he received his diagnosis in 2009.  Then DH had a PESA with an amazing infertility urologist and we were blessed when our first IVF/ICSI worked and I gave birth to twins in 2010.. 

Well, I think when IF treatment works the first time you kind of think it will work the second and it appeared to when we did a natural FET in May 2012 and both our blasts survived thaw, were graded high, and I had a positive hpt at 3dp6dt.  My betas were high and more than doubled and we were shocked and saddened when at 7+ weeks at our first ultrasound we found out the pregnancy was not viable.  A week later after a second confirmation I had a surgical D &C and we are still shocked, saddened, grieving, out of embryos, and out of money. 

I am hoping and praying I can talk DH into another fresh IVF/ICSI I am a planner and just want to be pregnant again.  I have my post-op in a week and hopefully the RE can explain to DH why waiting at my age is not ideal.  DH, bless him, still thinks I am 25 when I am in fact 35 going on 36 soon.  He also thinks I am overemotional with the loss but he is the type to say nothing and grieve in private. 

So, I am looking for a board home, I need to stop stalking PAIF and February 2013 Mom's.  I do not want to offend anyone on Infertility either by posting since I did have a success in 2010.  Can I join you? I love the support I have seen and positive thoughts and general cheering on everyone no matter where they are in their treatment plan when stalking your board.  I will not take offense if you all say No, but on the Miscarriage board and TTC after a loss almost everyone can just start trying again when their doctor says it is ok.  That sadly can never happen for us, IVF/ICSI is our only option ever.  Thank you for listening and I wish you all well and pray you have success in your IF journey soon!  Also, do you have rules about tickers if I am able to join?  Thanks again, sorry this is so long! 

H: 34 dx Azoospermia due to CBAVD from CF  
ME: 39 IS FINE!!!  DOR and poor AMH/FSH/LH
IVF/ICSI/PESA #1 Beta 1 373 Beta 2 1783 BOY/GIRL TWINS!! Born April 2010!!
Natural FET 5/26/12 2 blasts Beta 1 207 Beta 2 513 Beta 3 1377 U/S 6/28 Pregnancy not viable d & c scheduled :( 
IVF/ICSI/PESA #2 ER 11/15/12 Nothing to transfer :( 
IVF/ICSI #3 April 2013 MDLF 3dt of 3 embryos, chemical :(  
IVF #4/ICSI/MESA/CCS/FET EPP April 2015
ODWU CCRM with Dr. Sch COMPLETE!!!! Put on acai supplement they are studying for DOR and embryo quality.
DAY 3 Labs Drawn 2/26 put on vitamin D and calcium supplements
Regroup and Protocol Reveal 3/04 "Bazooka Protocol" EPP with MDLF "Protocol 6 with patches"
ER/MESA 4/10 ER 9 eggs retrieved MESA success found live swimmers :)
Fertilization Report 6 eggs mature and ICSI'd 4 eggs fertilized normally
Day 6 Report to Blast for CCS 4/16: 2 DAY 5 BLASTS BIOPSIED FOR CCS a 4AB and a 3AB!!!!
CCS Results BOTH BLASTS CCS NORMAL!!!!!!  call on 4/24
Regroup call to discuss CCS results and FET call on 5/20
FET prep: CD 1 6/08 CD 3 Start BCP 6/10, HSG 6/12 Lupron Start 10 iu 6/17 End BCP 6/21 CD 1 6/23!!!
Start vivelle patches 6/25 change e/o/d reduce Lupron to 5iu 6/25 Blood Draw 7/01, 7/08, 7/15, 7/19
Increase vivelle patches 7/03 2 change e/o/d and 7/05 change e/o/d 3 and 7/07 4 change e/o/d add vaginal estrace 2x a day
Lining Check/Blood Draw 7/08 and 7/15 End Lupron 7/18  Start PIO 1ml daily 7/18  Blood  Draw 7/19
Flight to clinic 7/22
FET 2 CCS BLASTS :):)  7/23 :):) YES YES both thawed and both fully expanded :):)
7/26 :):) 3dp5dt PM very very faint positive FRER
7/27: 4dp5dt Neg Digi AM but very very faint positive FRER PM POSITIVE DIGI CLEARBLUE PREGNANT 1-2 :):) 
7/31:8dp5dt AM POSITIVE DIGI CLEARBLUE PREGNANT 2-3!!!! :):) 
Beta 1 8/01= 408!!!!!!!!!! at 9dp5dt FET
Beta 2 8/03 = 1014!!!!!!!!!! at 11dp5dt FET
8/05/2015 AM POSITIVE DIGI CLEARBLUE PREGNANT 3+!!!! :):) 
First Ultrasound: 8/20!!!!!! TWINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Genetics says BOTH BOYS!!!!!!!!!
Second Ultrasound: 9/03!!!!!!!!!!










 










Re: Can I join you, not sure if I belong?

  • Probably not my call, since I'm on #2 as well, but I've seen several other ladies TTC #2 intro here recently since SAIF is dead and get a warm welcome, so I'm sorry for your loss and I hope your post-op goes well.

    ETA: there are a couple of us still hanging around SAIF, so you are always welcome there too.


    imageimage
    2 years, 2 surgeries, 2 clomid fails, 2 IUIs, 1 loss, IVF #1 - 10/25/10 = BFP!, DS is now 3.5yrs!
    TTC #2 - 6/12 surgery #3, FET #1 & 1.2 = BFN, 12/2012 FET #2 = BFP! DD is 1.5 yrs!
    Surprise! 12/16/14 BFP, loss #2 12/31/14

    I can't wait for the "im getting a divorce" post in 5 years or so because your husbands were fed up with your disgusting chair asses from playing on the knot all day and getting fired 4-5 times for not doing any work. you guys are all winners!! ~ Laur929

  • reb259reb259 member

    I am sorry for your lose and hope that if you decide to cycle again it brings you your take home baby.  My first thought would be to post to Secondary IF or SAIF... maybe others will have other options.

    I am AMA and all tests on H came back normal
    3 failed IVF with OE and 2 failed frozen DE cycles
    Last fresh hail mary DE cycle starting Feb 2013
    PAIF/SAIF always welcome
  • Loading the player...
  • Here's kind of how I interpret this. I instantly recognized your screen name, which means you've been on the boards for awhile. Chances are you recognize and have even cycled with some of us. I guess I feel like the vets board is for those of us that share history, whether we've had success or are still trying. We're the ones who have been around for the long haul. I'd consider you a definite vet.
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  • P.S. I just lost my February 2013 card too. I'm very sorry for your loss and hope that you and your DH can come to a mutual decision about your next steps.
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  • I get irritated when someone who had primary IF gets pushed to secondary IF for number two.  There are several ladies on IF that are there for their second too.  That being said, I don't recognize you, but that sounds like its because you've been around even longer than me.    So I'm fine with you posting here.
    TTC #1 Since 4/2010, Cycle 30
    Positive for HLA-B27, I'm a mutant :p
    Testing - Me ok, gluten issue? DH - borderline count, low motility
    4/28/11 IUI#1 = BFP!(5/25), EDD 2/2/12 - m/c 5w3d
    7/3, 7/31, 9/25 - IUI#2-4=BFN
    IVF#1 - 1 blast = BFP!! (12/30), EDD 9/9/12, confirmed c/p 4w2d
    FET#1 3/2/12 - 2 blasts =BFP!! EDD 11/18/12, us#1 = twins! Confirmed m/c 5w6d
    4/20-surprise BFP and another c/p 4w2d
    FET#2 7/16/12 - 2 blasts = BFN
    FET#3 8/20/12 - 1 blast - BFP!! Beta #1-2=177, 354
    1st u/s 5w6d, one beautiful little HB :), 2nd u/s 146bpm
    baby girl born 5/10/13

    TTC#2 since 12/17/2014, Cycle 8
    Repeat Testing...FSH=12, AMH=3.8, AFC=28. 
    IUI#5 5/10/15- c/p?
    IVF#2 8/19/15 - cancelled due to cysts
    IVF#2 take two 10/2015 - 5 blasts frozen
    FET#4 12/11/2015 - BFN - 4 blasts remaining
    FET#5 2/18/16 - BFP!!!  Beta1-3, 126, 250, 745!!

    Image and video hosting by TinyPicLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    Tons of love and ((hugs)) to my IF sister NMscubagirl


  • This is a tough one.  I don't "know" you but have no idea if the other Vets do.  I understand that secondary IF is probably not appropriate for you and that stinks that SAIF isn't active.  

    I guess my "issue" is that your first IVF worked. In my mind, this board is for those who obviously have been through lots of treatments without success and occasionally some return to try for #2. I guess I think of those who come back for #2 as having failed a ton of treatment before they got lucky.  I'm not trying to downplay your "journey" (I hate that word but can't think of anything else) but I'm not sure this is the right place for you.  . It's hard enough seeing people get lucky on the IF board and seeing someone get #2 and #3 on this board seems a bit much for me since it is supposed to "safe". But I totally appreciate that you asked if it was and if the other posters think you belong, that's fine. I was just stating my thoughts but realize that I  did not start this board, could be wrong about it and there are always exceptions.

    TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
    DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
    5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
    OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
    DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
    DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
    CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
    DE IVF #3 1/14  ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d

    DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
    First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!

    K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days

    imageimage

    SAIF/PAIF Welcome


    http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com

  • imagejlcrane78:
    Here's kind of how I interpret this. I instantly recognized your screen name, which means you've been on the boards for awhile. Chances are you recognize and have even cycled with some of us. I guess I feel like the vets board is for those of us that share history, whether we've had success or are still trying. We're the ones who have been around for the long haul. I'd consider you a definite vet.

     

    This exactly. I too recognized your screen name and would consider you a vet. 

    SAIFW
    TTC since 2008 dx PCOS & MFI
    Clomid/Femara no "O"
    IVF #1 BFN
    FET #1 cancelled for biopsy
    FET #1.2 c/p, July 2012 c/p
    IUI #1 & 1.2 canceled
    IVF #2 ER 12/1, Freeze all due to OHSS
    FET #2.1 cancelled due to DVT risk, FET #2.2 Jan 2013
    my blog
    image
  • imageMrs.McIrish:

    This is a tough one.  I don't "know" you but have no idea if the other Vets do.  I understand that secondary IF is probably not appropriate for you and that stinks that SAIF isn't active.  

    I guess my "issue" is that your first IVF worked. In my mind, this board is for those who obviously have been through lots of treatments without success and occasionally some return to try for #2. I guess I think of those who come back for #2 as having failed a ton of treatment before they got lucky.  I'm not trying to downplay your "journey" (I hate that word but can't think of anything else) but I'm not sure this is the right place for you.  . It's hard enough seeing people get lucky on the IF board and seeing someone get #2 and #3 on this board seems a bit much for me since it is supposed to "safe". But I totally appreciate that you asked if it was and if the other posters think you belong, that's fine. I was just stating my thoughts but realize that I  did not start this board, could be wrong about it and there are always exceptions.

    This is kind of how I feel as well. I feel like those of us who are here for #2 had a long history with this board and the posters here; unfortunately I don't recognize you (maybe others do though), but also you did have success on your first IVF. Again, this is not to downplay what you've been through but I don't feel like it's quite the same thing as what most of the other posters here are going through.

    I also do appreciate your asking if you belong though, which was very thoughtful. 

    Dx: High FSH, stage IV endo, homozygous C677T MTHFR and PAI-1
    Early loss 10/08
    Lap 1/09
    IVF #1 "natural IVF" - 1 egg retrieved, missed m/c
    Tried several mini-stim cycles with no response
    Switched clinics - dx'd as carrier for Fragile X
    IVF #2 MDL protocol Jan/Feb converted to IUI, BFN
    IVF #2 take 2: Antagonist, one embie, BFN
    IVF #3: Antagonist, no fertilization
    One last ditch effort at OE IVF (antagonist with Clomid) cancelled
    DE cycle #1 Jan/Feb 2011, BFP, ectopic
    DE cycle #2 June/July 2011 - BFP
    10/28/11 Baby girl lost at 17 weeks due to pre-term labor. We love and miss you.
    DE cycle #3 June/July 2012 - BFP, twins, both heartbeats stopped, D&C
    2 frosties but don't know what's next
    FET Dec 2012: BFP! Praying this one sticks for the long haul!
  • You are right where you need to be, Hun. Sorry you are having troubles with #2. We are here to support!
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  • I recognize you and know you from the azoo check-in, but I didn't start this board, and don't really feel like I have a good enough understanding on who should or shouldn't post on this board. I did an intro when I met the requirements, but thats all I know. I wish you lots of success.
    imageimage

    Dx: DH - Azoo, Me - Mild PCOS
    DH - sperm found! Seems to produce only for a few days every 70 days!
    Over 1 million in cryo in 15 vials over 6 samples
    IVF #1 - 1 beautiful expanded blast transferred, 4 snowbabies - beta #1 11/30/11 = BFFN
    FET #1, transfered 2 embies 2/16/12 = BFFN; 1 snowbaby left in cryo
    IVF #2 + CGH = 4 genetically normal embies on ice. FET September 26th
    SAIF/PAIF always welcome

    a special GL and prayers to my IF sister Gregermis

    image
    check out my blog!


  • I am fine with you being here. I do recognize your screename, mostly from lurking on SAIF. I know it's dead over there now. We are on a break though and not around as much as I used to be. I am sorry about your m/c. Hugs.
    PAIF and SAIF Always Welcome!
    TTC since 2007
    6 IUIs, 3 IVFs, and 2 m/c :< PCOS, Blood Clotting Disorder & MFI
    IVF #2 Aug 2011 is a BFN:<
    IVF #3 March 2012 is a BFN
    Not sure what to do now. Sad and lost.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • Welcome! The blog has more info about his board and you can decide if it's the place for you. It's definitely for those with a tie to the IF/PAIF/SAIF community. 

    https://infertility-veterans.blogspot.com/p/faq.html

    My only thought is that this board is for continued support, meaning, if you see yourself posting while you cycle and then never coming back after you are successful, I'd think hard about how that impacts others here. Of course stuff happens and we all take breaks, etc, and this board is primarily a TTTC board, but a big part of this board is maintaining connections through the long haul. Hoping this is something you find rewarding.

    Here is a recent post that may shed some light on another grey area: https://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/ShowThread.aspx?PostID=67253969#67254451 

    +++
  • Thank you for the responses.  I had decided when I posted this initially if anyone was against or uncomfortable about me joining I would step away quietly.  I respect your tight knit board and do not want to make anyone upset or uncomfortable where they feel most at home.  Someone mentioned Secondary IF, it is not exactly where I fit but then again there is nowhere I exactly fit.  So I will try there.  My best to all of you and I wish you well. 
    H: 34 dx Azoospermia due to CBAVD from CF  
    ME: 39 IS FINE!!!  DOR and poor AMH/FSH/LH
    IVF/ICSI/PESA #1 Beta 1 373 Beta 2 1783 BOY/GIRL TWINS!! Born April 2010!!
    Natural FET 5/26/12 2 blasts Beta 1 207 Beta 2 513 Beta 3 1377 U/S 6/28 Pregnancy not viable d & c scheduled :( 
    IVF/ICSI/PESA #2 ER 11/15/12 Nothing to transfer :( 
    IVF/ICSI #3 April 2013 MDLF 3dt of 3 embryos, chemical :(  
    IVF #4/ICSI/MESA/CCS/FET EPP April 2015
    ODWU CCRM with Dr. Sch COMPLETE!!!! Put on acai supplement they are studying for DOR and embryo quality.
    DAY 3 Labs Drawn 2/26 put on vitamin D and calcium supplements
    Regroup and Protocol Reveal 3/04 "Bazooka Protocol" EPP with MDLF "Protocol 6 with patches"
    ER/MESA 4/10 ER 9 eggs retrieved MESA success found live swimmers :)
    Fertilization Report 6 eggs mature and ICSI'd 4 eggs fertilized normally
    Day 6 Report to Blast for CCS 4/16: 2 DAY 5 BLASTS BIOPSIED FOR CCS a 4AB and a 3AB!!!!
    CCS Results BOTH BLASTS CCS NORMAL!!!!!!  call on 4/24
    Regroup call to discuss CCS results and FET call on 5/20
    FET prep: CD 1 6/08 CD 3 Start BCP 6/10, HSG 6/12 Lupron Start 10 iu 6/17 End BCP 6/21 CD 1 6/23!!!
    Start vivelle patches 6/25 change e/o/d reduce Lupron to 5iu 6/25 Blood Draw 7/01, 7/08, 7/15, 7/19
    Increase vivelle patches 7/03 2 change e/o/d and 7/05 change e/o/d 3 and 7/07 4 change e/o/d add vaginal estrace 2x a day
    Lining Check/Blood Draw 7/08 and 7/15 End Lupron 7/18  Start PIO 1ml daily 7/18  Blood  Draw 7/19
    Flight to clinic 7/22
    FET 2 CCS BLASTS :):)  7/23 :):) YES YES both thawed and both fully expanded :):)
    7/26 :):) 3dp5dt PM very very faint positive FRER
    7/27: 4dp5dt Neg Digi AM but very very faint positive FRER PM POSITIVE DIGI CLEARBLUE PREGNANT 1-2 :):) 
    7/31:8dp5dt AM POSITIVE DIGI CLEARBLUE PREGNANT 2-3!!!! :):) 
    Beta 1 8/01= 408!!!!!!!!!! at 9dp5dt FET
    Beta 2 8/03 = 1014!!!!!!!!!! at 11dp5dt FET
    8/05/2015 AM POSITIVE DIGI CLEARBLUE PREGNANT 3+!!!! :):) 
    First Ultrasound: 8/20!!!!!! TWINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Genetics says BOTH BOYS!!!!!!!!!
    Second Ultrasound: 9/03!!!!!!!!!!










     










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