Twins who don't want to do the same things (almost 3 yrs)

wendyg84

Our DDs are almost three.  One of them is turning into a homebody and would rather stay at home playing with blocks, trains, etc.  Her sister would rather go out to the library, mall play area, playground, etc.  

The DD who would rather stay home throws pretty loud tantrums when she wants to and is very stubborn.  I'm trying to figure out a way to get her out of the house without major meltdowns...which would ruin the outing anyhow.  

She has a molar coming in and has wanted to stay home every day for about 5 days.  Once in a while I can convince her to change her mind (mostly for playgrounds), but otherwise she's been digging her heels in and refusing to go anywhere.  My mom said to just tell her that I'm the boss and this is what we're doing today - but I really don't want to have her crying and screaming in the car and throwing tantrums wherever we go.

To make it more challenging, her sister is very noise sensitive and gets upset when her twin is having a tantrum - which equals two crying kids.  Which is why I hesitate to force DD out of the house... 

(She's a good kid in general, just knows what she wants and right now she wants to be at home.)

Any thoughts?   Thanks!

wendyg84

I should add - I'm a stay at home mom & we don't have any playdates lined up this week thanks to friends being on vacation, kids in camp, etc.  It's about 95 degrees and humid, so we can only spend so long in the backyard (which she doesn't want to do, either).  We need to get out!

LadyNikon

Do you think its just the teeth coming in that does it? Ice was my friend with DD.   Does she have new toys that keep her in the house?  I tend to be on the side of.. " I am the mom and we are going out.. " kinda person.  But I was raised under strict discipline. 

bearfootz

Well, both of mine usually want to leave after being home all day with the sitter, though my son is more of a homebody. Sometimes my kids seem to do better if they can get some alone time.  Can your mom watch her while you take the other one out?  I know that's not a long term solution, but maybe if she thinks that she's missing out on something fun she'd rather join you next time. 

keg

Is your homebody okay once she's out or is she a pill out?  If she's okay once she's out, I'd just go.  My girls tend may fuss when we're trying to get into the car, but once we're moving they tend to calm down.  I always play up that we're going on "adventures" and luckily they both like to do that. 

BTW, ibuprofen is your friend. :-)  

wendyg84

Thanks everyone.  Keg - we've definitely been using ibuprofen

It's hit or miss once she's actually in the car.  She could cry the entire car ride and still be upset when we get somewhere...or she could calm down and be perfectly fine.  

This used to happen occasionally, but it's becoming an everyday thing - which is why I posted here for an input.  Thanks again! 

macchiatto

Hmm ... you might want to check with your pediatrician. That strikes me as unusual that she'd be that upset about any and all outings. It definitely might be just a phase, but I'm wondering if she might have sensory issues or something that cause her to get overloaded.

jenn_darrin1515

I would probably check in with the pedi too.  Just to rule out an EI and discuss her behavior to check in about possibly being a sensory issue.  fwiw my dd has had plenty of EI in the past without any real symptoms aside from super cranky behavior.

  GL!

jalaiaa

I may have missed this but is it all the time or just while the molars are coming in. If it is related to the molars I wouldn't push the issue. If it is all the time but just worse I would do as your mom said and just go. I agree though, talk to your pedi about it if it is an ongoing issue.