\..McIrish..///

AmCheri

Hi there.    I've been thinking about you and wondering how you're doing.  Have you made any decisions about the split DE cycle option?  

Mrs.McIrish

Hello!

I think we are going with a place where we will do a fresh DE cycle and I get 5-7 fresh mature eggs.. I get to pick the donor and am not sharing her with anyone else.   The rest of the eggs go into their frozen egg bank.   I have been looking at their pool and there are 3 donors that would be acceptable to me. Just can't get DH to actually look at the profiles with me...  2 donors are currently in matched and I don't know if they have other people on their waiting list.  I have to wait until September anyway as the RE's office wants me to get a mammogram before an ET since I am high risk for BC (I had a breast MRI in March so I can't get a mamm until 6 months later under insurance)..   Trying to get all my records together which is also a pain since I've been to so many doctors.  I can do the mock cycle with next AF..

AmCheri

Yeah!  At the risk of being excited and obnoxious, I must say that I'm so happy for you!  This sounds like a great decision.  Picking your donor, not sharing, all things we wanted, too.  

I think the loss is great for our husband's, too.  He loves and adores you, so the thought of DE for him also has to be tough to swallow -- as if we're somehow rejoicing in this next step, right?  He'll come around.  Can you think of anything that might make it easier for him?  Would counseling with the both of you just to tackle DE help?  Gosh, I want this for you SO much.  Would help move heaven and earth for you if I could.  

Just today, I reached out to a group of local women who are using or have already used DE.  I think it'll be really good to have a connection IRL to people who can truly understand this cluster.   

AmCheri

Do you find, even with our lousy histories and lousy response, that you still feel compelled to try with your OE again?  I can't help that feeling and I know it's not smart.  In fact, it's actually not in our best interests for all the risk it entails.  Still.  I feel like we've given up too fast.  Cuckoo, cuckoo.  

Mrs.McIrish

AmCheri:

Do you find, even with our lousy histories and lousy response, that you still feel compelled to try with your OE again?  I can't help that feeling and I know it's not smart.  In fact, it's actually not in our best interests for all the risk it entails.  Still.  I feel like we've given up too fast.  Cuckoo, cuckoo.  

I honestly do not feel compelled at all to try again with my OE. I had 4 retrievals and never saw a single embryo that had potential.  I really am ready to close that door.

My biggest thing now will be waiting my turn on the donor's list.  As it stands, the best case scenario is having a baby a YEAR from now.  It kills me to think of another year of this.  And that's the best case. The longer I have to wait, I fear I might chicken out and close the baby door totally.

AmCheri

Mrs.McIrish:

AmCheri:

Do you find, even with our lousy histories and lousy response, that you still feel compelled to try with your OE again?  I can't help that feeling and I know it's not smart.  In fact, it's actually not in our best interests for all the risk it entails.  Still.  I feel like we've given up too fast.  Cuckoo, cuckoo.  

My biggest thing now will be waiting my turn on the donor's list.  As it stands, the best case scenario is having a baby a YEAR from now.  It kills me to think of another year of this.  And that's the best case. The longer I have to wait, I fear I might chicken out and close the baby door totally.

As long as you're around this board, I will be there to help keep that door open.  Yes, a year sucks big time.  But in the grand scheme of things, it's a wait that will be more than worth it.  You've worked so hard for this.  I know you have it in you to see it through.  Yes, it might be a year, but that means within months, you'll be rolling with a donor.  You'll be doing something to achieve the goal.  Don't make me come over there and tell you that you can do this, young lady!  lol 

reb259

So happy for you Mc!!  I am rooting so hard for you that this brings you your take home baby!!

Mrkyrain

Butting in:  Yay!!!!!  I am so excited for you.  

If you can get DH to go, I highly recommend the therapist idea.   I am pretty skeptical when it comes to that and I can't tell you how much it helped.  I only went the one time but even that was a start.

Butting back out: