Question for moms of 3

MNrunningmom

So we are expecting #3, and they are all going to be close (18 months apart from each one).  We always kind of knew we wanted three, and while I am really excited about our new addition, I am nervous about what our families will think. My husband thinks I am being silly to worry, but for some reason I am.  We both come from families with 2 kids and everyone just figured we were done after 2.  We never really said anything either way because #3 wasn't a for sure thing in our mind.  Both sets of parents having been talking about how we can start getting rid of baby stuff...little do they know that we will be needed it in a short while. We are waiting until the middle of august to tell them (right around 12 weeks). I just don't know how they will react...I feel like everyone is going to think we are crazy! 

 So I guess my question is, has anyone else had to deal with people just assuming you were done having kids after a certain point?  How did your families handle the news? Even though I see tons of people with 3+ kids it still feels like it isn't the norm....

I guess I just need reassurance that 3 isn't crazy...

Ljojo

I'm not sure if anyone assumed we were done after 2 kids and our 3rd baby surprised us all, but everyone was so happy to welcome another child into the family. 

Having 3 kids will be crazy at times, but I absolutely love it!  And now that we have 3 kids people keep asking us if we're done yet and honestly we're not sure. 

Congrats by the way!

kewltif

Not that I have three kids, but I don't think it's really all that shocking. I feel like it's when people get to four kids that people are like, "OMG! What a big family!"

Either way, whether you shock them or not, they will all be very happy for you.

Vitnicki83

I don't think 3 is crazy.  My H and I are expecting our third in 3 years (we have a 20mo and 8mo).  Each of our children will be a year apart from their siblings.  My husband and I have delt with a lot this past year (our oldest was diagnosed with Hemophilia, and because of this needs to wear a protective helmet and knee pads).  Because of this, we get a lot of stares and looks when out in public.  I guess I have developed some tough skin, because people's stares and comments don't bother me anymore.  This goes along with when we told people we were expecting our third baby. 

People will have their own opinions about things.  The attitude I have adopted is this...  This is what is right for MY FAMILY (me, H, and our children).  I really don't care what other people say or think, because we are making it work for us.

Not saying this is what you have to do, or how you should feel, but it has helped me a lot with the looks/comments/negative vibes I have felt the past year, and I know it will help me to get through some rough times in the future.

Don't know if this helps, but I figured I would share a somewhat similar experience with expecting #3. Either way, as PP said, they will be happy for you!

InfinityDreamer

We were met with mixed feelings when we announced #3.  We even had a close family member suggest an abortion, and then seem very confused to find out we had actually planned for and wanted a 3rd.  It seems that everyone, every time they see us, says "Oh, you're really going to have your hands full now!" or "I just can't imagine how you're going to handle 3!"  Ugh.

People say inappropriate things.  They'll all eventually come around and just be happy for you, what other reasonable option do they have?

JaysonandKristin

I don't know if it's because of technology and how easy it is to share your opinion about anything nowadays or what...  But, it's nobody's business how you live your life.

How many kids you have, how close in age they are, how you raise them, what you name them...  It's YOUR decision.  Needing other people to validate or congratulate you is an insecurity that you're going to have to deal with.  Either you gain confidence or you fall prey to other people's opinions on your life.

I really don't want this to sound mean, I just hope that it conveys how strongly my sentiments are on the matter.

 

runnergirl79

I don't fully understand why people assume a family should be done having kiddos once they have 2.  I definitely noticed a drop in excitement from the announcement of our third pregnancy, and especially #4.  I can only imagine how people would react if we decided to have a fifth, which is undecided as of now.  Hopefully your family will surprise you with a positive reaction!

MammaBear81

runnergirl79:

I don't fully understand why people assume a family should be done having kiddos once they have 2.  I definitely noticed a drop in excitement from the announcement of our third pregnancy, and especially #4.  I can only imagine how people would react if we decided to have a fifth, which is undecided as of now.  Hopefully your family will surprise you with a positive reaction!

This, we had such a "non reaction" with #4 that we didn't even announce #5.  The only ones who found out were the ones who asked (obviously I was showing at some point, so that was obvious).  I was so sick of hearing "you've having another?!", not everyone has 2 kids and is "complete" with their family.  The only proper response for "we're having a baby" is a smile and congratulations, not everyone got that memo!

laura1

Lots of people assumed we were done at 2 - we already had a boy and a girl which = done to them, I guess!  I actually had a m/c in the fall, and we told our immediate families, so when I got pg again, they were not as surprised as they probably would have been.  But other people do offer lots of opinions on having 3 - it is going to be really hard, you are going to be so busy, etc.  I am not sure why people just can't say congrats and move on...I mean, I am already pregnant - having to tell me it is going to be hard is not really helping at this point!!!

CariannelovesTim

InfinityDreamer:

We were met with mixed feelings when we announced #3.  We even had a close family member suggest an abortion, and then seem very confused to find out we had actually planned for and wanted a 3rd.  It seems that everyone, every time they see us, says "Oh, you're really going to have your hands full now!" or "I just can't imagine how you're going to handle 3!"  Ugh.

People say inappropriate things.  They'll all eventually come around and just be happy for you, what other reasonable option do they have?

This! 

Arnegard

I get a lot of comments and my girls are 26 & 29 months apart.  People just need to keep their comments to themselves.

My sister announced baby #6 with photo cards that read: 
New shirts - $40
Pictures - $25
Knowing their are 8 of us in this picture:  PRICELESS

MammaBear81

Arnegard:

I get a lot of comments and my girls are 26 & 29 months apart.  People just need to keep their comments to themselves.

My sister announced baby #6 with photo cards that read: 
New shirts - $40
Pictures - $25
Knowing their are 8 of us in this picture:  PRICELESS

That's adorable!

moonfaerie

Well our families were happy for us, but we come from larger families. Three kids in my family, and four in DH's. My mom had three kids in less than three years, so it's not abnormal to us. I wouldn't worry, if I were you. Even if they're surprised at first and don't give the reactipn you hope for, by the time baby arrives, they will be so excited to meet him/her and they will love him/her already. Congrats on #3!