Vent/Scared (long)

healthynut

So we just found out on Monday that we're having twins.  Very exciting...and very scary.  My DH has been smiling ear-to-ear since he saw the little heartbeats.  I felt badly at work all day on Monday and Tuesday b/c, although I was excited, I was very scared and was having a hard time being as naturally excited as he was (and the family members we told throughout the day).  Well, I come home after a loooooong day and he immediately bombards me with all the the things he's been worrying about since he got home:  child care costs, me most likely not being able to go back to work (my salary won't be more than child care for two infants), etc.  I haven't even changed out of work clothes and he's presenting me with each problem and wants my opinion and decision.  He needs to make a plan right now.  I felt so overwhelmed and just burst into tears.  I am still getting used to (and starting to feel happy about) having two little ones growing inside of me.  I need a few days before we can tackle these things.  I know we're just adjusting differently, but it was hard.  Okay, thanks for letting me vent.  Did anyone else have a similar beginning?

trr8203

When I found out I was having twins I was freaking out about money and caring for two infants and all that stuff.  But my husband and I agreed that we had time to figure things out and we needed to let it sink in that we were having twins before we started worrying about everything.

I suggest talking to your husband and just telling him that you need a few days to process everything and then you two can start working on a plan.  It'll all work out.  You'll figure it out. 

Oh, and congratulations on the twins!  Twins are awesome, a lot of work, but completely worth it!

jd0614

YES!  I completely freaked out - we already had a 2 year old, and 2 more babies was NOT in the budget - plus we have a 2 bedroom house.  I was feeling completely overwhelmed, and DH was all, "it'll work out, don't worry, blah blah blah".  While I now know I am completely blessed, it did take a long time to get here!

 Congrats!  Twins really are awesome!

SaucySarie

I think in some way we all feel that way.  I know that when we found out we were having triplets- all that stuff was running through our heads too.  We just talked about it (a lot) and we eventually made things work. 

coffee bean

Your feelings are completely normal.  This is a big surprise and news for you to handle!  I think a lot of us went through similar feelings and I know my DH took awhile to come around that this was news to be excited about, not scared about.

Soon enough, you won't be able to imagine only having 1 baby.  You are in for some challenges, but double the joy too.

healthynut

Thanks for your stories.  It really helps to know that people have done this...and that it's okay to not be elated at every moment. 

kimby3679

DH wasn't there when I found out, but when I called to tell him, he thought I was messing with him and hung up on me. I was freaking out. Thankfully my mom was with me. It took almost a week before I was able to deal with it ok. I messed up my work schedule, was crying a lot etc. So just hang in there!

barker2B

Yep...DH and I were both terrified from the very beginning.  I agree with pp's...give yourself some time to not even think about anything other than coming to terms with the fact you'll be having twins.  Once it sinks in, then you can begin to tackle the issues one at a time.  Hang in there--it is overwhelming but you'll figure it out and the rewards definitely outweigh all the worries.  Good luck and congratulations:)

cands

When we found out we were having twins, DH just kept repeating "twins?!" throughout the appointment.  Then we get to the car and up until this point he still hasn't said anything except "twins?!" and he looks at me and says "two college tuitions? What's the plan to pay two college tuitions.  Well I guess we can establish two 529 plans, but we'll have to start saving soon for that, don't you think?"  I was just thrilled that I hadn't had another missed miscarriage and that they had healthy heartbeats.  I was still freaked out that there were two of them.  I wasn't ready to make a college savings plan in the parking lot of the ultrasound place. 

Everyone deals with the shock of having more than one baby differently.  Some people are planners and go directly into that mode.

JBSugar

Aw honey, it is quite a shock.  Hang in there!  Just tell your DH that you would like to spend a little more time adjusting and getting used to the idea of 2.  Remind him that you have 9 months (I didn't see how far along you are) to figure out all the details!  {{hugs}}

FaeryStarGazer

Oh yes. When I found out about the two of them, I didn't stop crying for a long time. It didn't help that I was so sick and ultimately needed permanent IVs; I had no idea what the hell we were going to do. My H works for a non-profit and makes no profit I wasn't able to work and I've not yet been able to go back. I was like your husband, I needed a plan rightfrickennow. I can tell you, I didn't feel honestly happy until we found out the sexes. At that point, they weren't just these things sucking the life out of me (I had hyper-emesis) they were my little girls. I was 18w when we found out. But now, (ya know now that they're OUT hee hee) I could not imagine anything else. I don't care that we are just getting by. I don't care that we don't get a stitch of WIC of other help, I don't care that my life isn't what I thought it would be. I'm not going to say 'it was totally worth it' bc I don't believe that yet, but I can say that you will be OK with it. The freak out still come, but they aren't frequent.

So, it's OK to not be thrilled right away and you know what else? It's ok not to feel that instant love-at-first-sight when the babies come out. Everyone deals differently. (((hugs)))

jenn_darrin1515

Last week when we found out my DH reacted exactly like yours...he wanted to plan everything right away and I just wanted to nap on the couch...I think he's mellowed a little and realized their is time to deal with all his questions and concerns...no need to deal with everything all at once!

Good luck and congratulations!!!