APing multiple children close in age?

achowa00

Hi all,

I have a 13 month old DS and am expecting #2 in March.  This pregnancy was quite a surprise and I'm terrified for 2u2, especially because I feel like DS still has very high needs for me: we bed share and still BF and I'm not interested in ending either of those any time soon.

 Any good resources for APing & 2u2?  I need to get reading.  

vanceke08

hi! I feel your pain I have a 6 month old FS and a 3 month old DD, and things can get a little crazy! I have not had the privilege to breast feed, so i am no help there, but on other fronts, it is just about balancing your time. Before you may have been there the second #1 needed you, but now #1 will inevitably need you when you are feeding #2, knee deep in a poopy diaper, or trying to get LO to sleep. #1 has had to learn to "fuss it out" a bit in our house. I choose those words carefully, because it is a discontented fuss. Of course he has a "mommy, I need you NOW" cry, and generally I will put #2 down and go to him when that happens; which almost instantly begins #1's Fuss it out period! lol. it is a balancing act, but you will get it. the biggest advice I have is: there is no schedule, there is no anticipating what either will do in response to the other, and just expect the unexpected in general. #2 could not have been more the opposite of #1, so everything i thought to expect from my parenting experience I quickly realized did not apply with #2 and everything I thought I knew was out the window! good luck!!

 

celiabwatson

Adventures in Tandem Nursing is a great book. It's a good resource for tandem nursing but it also talks about changes in supply while pregnant etc. 

We're tandem nursing currently and I love it. I also still have not done CIO with my older one, even though he's a needy sleeper. Luckily #2 is less needy about sleep. Neither one is bedsharing because I couldn't sleep well with #1 when I was pregnant and he was already doing the first part of the night in his own bed so we just extended it and kept him in there all night. He still wakes at night but goes right back to sleep with help/nursing.

It's taken me a while to figure out a good bedtime routine by myself with both kids (husband works 1-10pm). But I now have a good system in place that allows me to give each child some snuggle time with minimal crying from the other.

Other than the crying issue most other AP practices have been helpful to having 2u2 rather than more challenging. 

kcisthebombdotcom

I felt it was possible to AP two children close in age. Bedsharing was easy with two, my oldest wasn't interested in being worn in the carrier by the time his sibling was born so that worked. Of course, you have to adjust your expectation on leaving a child to fuss for a minute or two but I don't think that disrupts the attachment in any way. For me (and this may be because my kids are both easygoing by nature) I felt I never really had to leave one crying to tend to the other. Being organized and preparing things ahead of time helped a ton as well. Naturally, they would both wake up from their nap at the same time and both be starving, but I would have prepped lunch for my older child before DH even left for work in the morning so all I would have to do is get DS's food out of the fridge and put it in front of him. I kept the rooms we spent a lot of time in well stocked with diaper changing supplies so I could tend to diaper needs quickly. Keeping stuff my toddler would need next to the chair I'd feed baby in like snacks/water/toys helped as well.

00jennifer00

My #3 and #4 are a little bit farther apart at 25mo, but #3 is HIGH needs, my goodness.  He is high strung, and sensitive, and my little monster.  Hehe.  He is 3 1/2, and still nurses to sleep (we tandem, though #4 doesn't usually fall asleep when he does).  Next month though, he's not going to nurse to sleep anymore, he's going to get 5-10m and then dh will lay with him in his bed, and in Sept he'll be done nursing.  (We wean at 3y9m at my dh's request)  He still gets in bed with me most nights (dh hits the couch after a few hours for his own sleep issues).  He sleeps on the outside (our mattress is on the box springs on the floor, so it's not too high), I sleep in the middle, and #4 sleeps against the wall.  He was nw'd at 18mo, but #4 still nurses at least twice a night at 18mo.  He's going to be 4 when the next baby comes, and ideally, I'll have #4 out of the bed, and him too, but we'll see.  I'd like for them to share a bed for a while, maybe that would help him.  He wasn't even sleeping in his own bed at all until after his 3rd birthday.   My first was out of our bed at  2 1/2, 3mo before his sister was born.  My second was out of our bed on her second birthday, she was EXCITED!