Why are people so ignorant! Rant, sorry.

ashk7

DH and I went to a family party today. I was talking to one of his aunts while holding DD and we were talking about her progress, I told her how our pedi told us to start introducing cereal when we felt comfortable that he feels she is ready anytime between now and 6 months at our 4 month apt. There was this woman in the room whom I have never seen in my life, look at me and say, "umm do you know what you are doing she looks too young for that" . I politely smiled and told her that dd is a little over 4 months but was a preemie, so she is still petite. Now mind you I am 5'1, I was full term and was never on the charts until I was one. DH is by no means a giant either, so besides her being preemie she was bound to be a peanut and to us she is HUGE! So when I am holding her it's not too crazy her size she is a little over 9lbs as of last week. So I go to continue my conversation with dh's aunt and this stranger comes over and is looking at dd like a zoo animal, dd looked at her and smiled, and she steps back and says "wow, she knows how to smile, I didn't know THEY could do that!" I am getting closer to wanting to hit her but think to myself ok she may not have children and is just unaware of what babies can do and when, well then she dug herself even deeper when she said my twins... Ok lady step away from this angry mommy! Dh's aunt looks at  me like who is this lady and is she crazy! She then says well she is still very small she must be sick, I clenched my jaw and once again said very nicely, no she has actually quadrupled her birth weight, she is very healthy, a small baby doesn't always mean a sick baby. So I am thinking get this wack job away from me when she looks at me dead in the eye and says "what did you do wrong, that made her come so early?!" if I didn't have a baby in my arms and we were not at a family function I would of knocked the B out!!!!!!!! She then said in the next breathe, that its a shame that I probably couldn't breast feed, because they can't figure out how to do it, and was it hard having such a small baby that can't do things like a "normal" baby.  I was so over this person but was trying to be as gracious and nice as possible, thinking in my head well some people really do not understand what its like having a preemie and maybe she just doesn't have a way with words. So i explained to her that in our DD's case as of right now, she is the size of a 2+ month old baby but developmentally she is doing some things at her actual age. That all preemies are different just like all term babies and may hit milestones at her actual age or at her adjusted or somewhere inbetween. That every baby is different and that doesn't make them right or wrong or heathly vs. unhealthy. Seriously lady are you really that ignorant!!!!! She looked at me like I had four eyes and at that point I was DONE with her and could only imagine then next dumba$$ thing to come out of her mouth so I excused myself. I mean really what the heck are some people thinking!!!!! I do not have to justify ANYTHING about dd to ANYONE but feel the constant need to by ignorant people! That protective mama bear comes out!! Please tell me I am not alone, I just get so frusterated sometimes, I feel like a full term mommy doesn't get such crazy looks or questions about their children, I am just sick of the insensitive questions and comments!! I know there have been other threads about rude comments and but  I had to get it off my chest to a group of ladies that would truly understand!!!! I dont care about the milestones and when she hits them, as long as she is growing and happy and healthy, I am thankful. I want the same things any term mommy wants for their child! Thanks for listening to my rant!

kelkel09

wow! i don't blame you for wanting to knock her out! I can't believe the things she said to you. I am sorry you had to deal with such an ignorant and obnoxious person!

PhillyGal34

Oh my god that was insane. People are so ignorant. Im glad you walked away but the comment about what you did wrong kills me. I think I would've handed off the baby and punched her. 

DrRx

Wow! I don't know how you were able to keep your cool! I probably would've said some choice words that children aren't meant to hear.  I'm sorry that you had to deal with someone like that!

urbanflowerpot

I've been on this board for a while now and this is one of the worst stories I've read - wow. I am so sorry - she sounds like one of those nosey sorts that would get up in any baby's biz. FT or preemie. FT with some wackadoo advice but you had a preemie so became the zoo-factor. Awful!!!

IncogNeato

Wow! That might be the rudest woman on the planet! I got lots of comments and still do because LO is really little, but never as rude as that. Most just asked how old she was and then were surprised. I always just say, "Yup, she's small, just like her mama was and I turned out ok."

If I were you, though, I might have gotten really rude. I can't believe the things she said!

Last week a mother of a 9 month old thought our kids were the same age. She was a little shocked when I told her that my girl was twice her child's age. 

zoeyandsummersmom

I sometimes lie about DD's age because I do not want to go into detail about all of her medical issues on top of being a preemie, but that woman deserved to be decked.

snoangel79

Were we at the same family party? My son is 12lbs and my daughter is 9lbs. I had an old aunt (my DH's side) ask me if there was something "wrong" with my daughter as she is "so" small... I said we'll she's gained about 6 lbs since birth so no, she is just a peanut, she was born very small but developmentally she is hitting all her milestones. We were also told cereal at 6 m too!! Don't worry, people are friggin idiots... 

wychets

BostonKisses2:

Holy crap, that lady is beyond rude! I'm sorry you had to deal with that.

WOW! I am so sorry she said those things to you. I am glad you kept your cool. Some people are just plain STUPID!! Being a Mother herself, she should know better!!! "What did you do wrong to make her come early?" I am speechless.

ashk7

Thanks ladies! I think I was in shock in the very moment that those things were coming out of her mouth, also it was a party for dh's uncle who owns a car dealership and won a huge award, so I was unsure who this lady was, my luck I would of mouthed off to his partners wife or something! Not that she didn't deserve it but I am Italian and once my mouth starts its hard to stop it sometimes!  the worst part is I was crying over it later, which made me even more mad! Lol that I was letting this stranger who is clearly very ignorant upset me so, it was the "what did I do wrong" I know that hits home with you all, I wanted to scream I did everything humanly possible to keep her in there, preemie moms work harder then you can imagine to keep their babies safe both inside and outside!!! But on a side note my baby that can't do anything stole the show, because she was smiling away and flirting and cooing with anyone that would make eye contact! Making her mama so proud, showing off her very hard earned talents!

mybb

Wow...so sorry you had to go through this! How horrible! This lady deserved to be hit in the face...with a chair...3 times!