I lost my son at 30 weeks on July 5, 2012. He suffered from a condition called hydrops. His lungs were undeveloped at birth. They hooked him to breathing machines to give him a few hours with his mommy and daddy. I feel so lost without him here with me. No more kicks or movements. He was so active on the sonograms. He would be sucking his thumb and so determined to touch his little toes. His little feet and hands were absolutely the cutest thing ever. He was so precious. I kept a blog for the past few weeks: www.ryancaleb.blog.com

Re: Hydrops - Ryan Caleb
***Congratulations to my TTCAL buddy Roxyttandme!! It's a GIRL!! Charlotte arrived on 9/29!!!!***
PGaL/PAL Always Welcome!!
BFP #2 - EDD 2/26/12 M/C 6/28/11 @ 5w2d
BFP #3 - EDD 4/7/12 M/C 8/2/11 @ 4w2d
Too beautiful for this earth
BFP #4 - EDD 12/09/12, Lucille arrived 11/26/12
I am so sorry for the loss of your precious son, Ryan. He is beautiful. The women on this board are wonderful and I hope you find comfort here among those that know the loss of a child.
((hugs to you))
BFP #1 12.24.07 - DD born @ 39w1d on 08.26.08

BFP #2 08.04.11 - DD born still @ 37w3d on 03.25.12
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TTC #3 since May 2012
BFP #3 12.29.12 - CP @ 4w2d on 01.02.13
BFP #4 10.17.13 - CP @ 4w2d on 10.23.13
BFP #5 04.06.14 - MMC 05.07.14
No longer trying to conceive.
BFP #2 - Sylvie V. Q. born and died on 10.28.11 at 21w.
BFP #3 - Evie V. Q. Fetal demise @ 16w. DC 7.8.12
BFP #4 - Beatrix V. Q. Born 6.2.13 at 23w6d.
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Ticker....
I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet boy. My daughter developed hydrops as well, and it was probably one thing that led to her death, among others. This board is a great, welcoming place. I'm glad you found it.
I am so very sorry for the loss of your sweet son, Ryan Caleb. The first days, weeks and months are very difficult, but we are all here for you. I would encourage you to consider seeing a grief counselor, even if only for a few sessions. I did not do that initially, but did after about 8/9 months. It did help me and I wish someone would have pushed me to go sooner.
I would recommend the following books - Grieving the Child I Never Knew, Empty Cradle Broken Heart, The One Year Book of Hope and Good Grief (by Westberg).
Hugs,
Jenn
We are so thankful that our second daughter, Lillian Elizabeth "Lily", was born healthy and happy on February 11, 2013. We love her to pieces.
We lost our first daughter, Hannah Grace on May 4, 2011. She was buried on May 14 during a beautiful service at my home church. We are grateful that if she could not be here with us, that she is healed and whole with the Lord. We look forward to the day when we will get to meet her. We love her so much.
I just read your blog and it made me cry. I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet Ryan Caleb. We are all here for you as you walk this difficult path. I would encourage you to see a grief counselor, even if you don't think you need to, and even if you on a few times. I would also recommend the books Grieving the Child I Never Knew, Empty Cradle Broken Heart, The One Year Book of Hope and Good Grief (by Westberg).
It will take time to recover from this, but you will feel joy again. I wished someone had told me that early on. There were times that I felt it would be dark forever. It won't. You will always miss your baby, you will randomly cry (I did last night)....but you will not feel the deep despair forever without end. We are all here for you.
Hugs to you,
Jenn
We are so thankful that our second daughter, Lillian Elizabeth "Lily", was born healthy and happy on February 11, 2013. We love her to pieces.
We lost our first daughter, Hannah Grace on May 4, 2011. She was buried on May 14 during a beautiful service at my home church. We are grateful that if she could not be here with us, that she is healed and whole with the Lord. We look forward to the day when we will get to meet her. We love her so much.
I'm so sorry about the loss of your sweet Ryan Caleb. Recently, a thread was created specifically for new angel Mommies like yourself:
https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/66361040.aspx
You're more than welcomed here and there's no judgment; you can be yourself. *HUGS*
Source: weheartit.com via Captain on Pinterest
My precious angel Ryan Caleb passed away to his heavenly home a few short hours after birth due to hydrops 7.5.2012 @ 30 weeks.