Parenting after 35

Naming our baby

DH and I did not have this problem with DS. I am due to go in for  a  C-Section on Wednesday and we can not choose between three names. People say"Oh you will know when you see her." 1. Really, how true is that? Can someone answer this if you have this or did you just have to debate until the hsopital staff made you sign? I know I have been overthinking each name and afraid I have muddied my own waters. I am scared I will be holding her and looking at her and still not know or pick a name and regret it a few days later ... One of DH's qualifications is flow. We are not sure how we feel about popularity because we have been told you have to love the name first. Here are our choices" Frances is in honor of his deceased parents but might change if use Rebecca. DS middle name is Francis so the connection would be nice.

Elizabeth Frances  - classic and timeless like many things I buy in clothes and furniture. Afraid first name will never get used because of all the nicknames and length of names.

Rebecca (Frances or Elizabeth as MN)i- Not sure if I like Becky but like Becca as NN. A classic , pretty, not sure if timeless, and not overused name.

Isabella Frances  - love the flow, pretty, not sure if a classic or trendy - that is the issue. Not crazy about Izzy for NN - love Bella and on the fence with popularity.

 Olivia Frances - classic, too popular?


Your thoughts ?


DD is home and still unsure ... when we saw her we still could not narrow it down to one name ... tossed up inbetween  Rebecca and Isabella. You really do not know when you see them:(


Re: Naming our baby

  • mwdmwd member
    We debated DD's name for a day, as I was concerned with the length of it. As for a nickname, people will call her what they want to, or whatever you all call her.  And my daughter's name has increased in popularity since we named her. 
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  • They're all lovely. My son's full name is 8 syllables and mine is now 7. My mom had given me longer first names because I had a short last name.

    That aside - I don't think I'm much help. I have a dear friend Ava who gets called Ave - I don't think there's a single name that people can't/won't find a NN for!

    I love the name Isabella but I've known a lot of them who just get called Iz unless you enforce Bella right away which is what I'd do - just into her as Bella otherwise people will pick their own.

    Rebecca might be your best bet.

    I hated all my NN. It's hard with longer names because people are just dying to shorten them. I try to get people to call me by my full name...but I can't enforce it. KWIM?

    See - I'm a great help ;) 

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  • My mother had a name chosen for me, and didn't even consider any other names. Until the moment they put me in her arms and she looked up at my dad and said "Oh no.. she is not a Victoria at all!"

    So there was a frantic tossing about of names in the delivery room before they settled on Jennifer, which does fit me way better than Victoria ever would.

    Knowing this story, my husband and I went into the hospital with a list of about 15 names that we both agreed we could live with.

    And then the second I looked at her, I tossed most of them out and went with a name we'd thought would only be a middle name, because she LOOKED like a Rowan. DH agreed.

    So yeah, I'm fully in the 'have a few names picked, but let your LO tell you what their name is going to be when you meet them.' camp. Still, I know people who were strongly for a particular name all through their pregnancy and went with it and were happy. Whatever floats your boat! 

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  • PeskyPesky member
    I had this problem with DS.  We could not settle on a name and came into the hospital with a list and literally were asking nurses what they thought and popularity while I was in labor.  We settled on a name and I swear I questioned it for the first 6-8 mos.  But you know, I figure he has the name he was meant to have, it suits him and his personality.  I'm not as fond of Isabella I have to say -- beautiful name but NMS and tainted for me by people I know.  I like both Elizabeth and Rebecca.  FWIW, Elizabeth is the name of one of my nieces and she goes by the full name (although her dad's NN for her is LizziePops) and that's never been a problem.  I think you can easily use Ava with Rebecca or Frances or even Elizabeth if you like.  I wouldn't worry about nn.  Realize your DD will decide soon enough what she likes her friends calling her.  GL!

    DD -- 5YO
    DS -- 3YO

  • You really DO know when you see them. With DD, I knew I wanted her middle name to be Summer,  but didn't know about her first name. As soon as she came out, I knew she was a Jordan. She became Jordanne Summer. 

     DS came out and my daughter said he needed a J middle name. I said James, and he became Henry James. While Henry was one we had on the list, James had never been mentioned!

  • PS, my niece's name is Isabela, and we call her Bellie. Isa (Ee-sa) is another common Nn for Isabela here.  

  • My middle name is Frances!Smile  My father's Catholic and he wanted a saint's name. I always liked it because of the association with St. Francis, etc. who was such an incredible human being ... even though I'm Buddhist, lol! But I think it's pretty nice.

    I like your first choice, Elizabeth Frances, the best. I studied Medieval History in college and the name Elizabeth is one of those ancient names that was given to so many powerful women (like Queen Elizabeth the first) who were great leaders, etc. Plus, it's just cool! I never found it stuffy or old-fashioned at all. It's also the middle name of my best friend since high school -- some seriously awesome women named Elizabeth throughout history!

    We had the hardest time naming our son because we wanted an Asian name, but one that wouldn't be hard to pronounce in the U.S. Then I saw a painting done by my American friend, an artist in San Francisco. It was of an American folk-rock singer named Devendra Banhart, and I just loved that name instantly! So that's how we found a good name. But we had many headaches getting there!

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  • It was the middle of the second day before we came up with a name for DS, and there's no way I'd do that to myself again as it was a nightmare trying to agree on a name while souped up on painkillers...  And yes, I'm not liking the compromise name every time DS doesn't respond to his name being said I wish I had stuck to my guns on the name I really wanted even if DH wasn't a fan (it was too "Aristocratic" sounding to him GRRRR).  We ultimately decided on a "nickname" to call him, but then we went with a longer name as the formal name because let's face it, which looks more impressive down the road on the degree certificate.. 

    Trust your instinct with what you like.  Think about nicknames...  Elizabeth: Liz, Lizzy, Eliza, Beth, Betsy, etc.   Rebecca: Becky, Becca...  Isabella: Izzy, Bella, Bell... 

    And yes, it is silly to say, but yes, you'll know once you get to meet LO on the name...

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  • We had a short list for my second also (I didn't want to commit to a name before the baby was born). Make sure you and your husband are on the same page about how long you are willing to wait before you agree on the name.  My husband was pressuring me to agree before I was all "fixed up" and while I enjoy the name (not one on the short list by the way) I feel like I would have enjoyed more time to process everything.  (As an aside one of the reasons we decided so quickly is that DH refused to call anyone before the baby had a name and I wanted to call everyone to let them know all were safe and sound.)
  • We had two names, and I have to say, when I saw DD I still couldn't make up my mind!  So, I'd rank them before you get the hospital.  Maybe you'll see her and just know... but I didn't ;)
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  • I like all the names, but would go with Rebecca.  I also like Becca for a nn.   Isabella (Bella) and Olivia are waaaay too popular right now.   I think I'm the only person who didn't stress out about naming baby  I made a list of names I liked, DH vetoed some of them, and then we happened to agree on our favorite for first and middle names.
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  • No advice on which name to pick as I like all your options.  My only advice is do not pick a name based on what you would like or dislike as a nickname.  My DH never had a nickname but since I am one of the trillion Jennifer's, I grew up with many and it never phased me and they changed over time/within different circles.  For our girls, with DD#1, we went with the name that we had actually thought of as the nickname for a different name - we were thinking Melanie and would call her Lanie but then decided to just call her Lanie since we really had no intention of ever calling her Melanie.  She is Lanie now for the most part but sometimes she is "LanLan".  DD#2 is Ashley and she gets called Ashley, Ash, Asha and the kids at preschool call her Ashaley.  You can't predict what her nickname will be and as soon as she is old enough to think on her own, she will tell you and everyone else what to call her.  Just pick a full name that you love and be done with it.  My niece is Gabrielle and since the day she was born, we have called her Gabi.,  When she started kindergarten, she insisted that in school she use her full name - you just can't predict.
    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
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