question from my 3yo...

tubbsy32

So in the car today my 3 year old says..."Mommy, I want a baby. When will you have a baby in your tummy again?" And then I get the immediate painful lump in my throat. My response..."Hopefully soon. I want a baby too."

So, obviously that kinda changed my mood for the evening. And as much as I love DH, he asks "what's wrong?" I said the conversation that just took place in our car. He says "But, our family is going to grow very soon, I just feel it."

I have no response to that and I do hope and pray that we get pregnant soon. But, being pregnant and taking home a live baby is a big difference. I hate that I even think like that and I don't even want him to know that I have those thoughts.

Isn't is crazy that you can have a "good" day and then just 1 thing can instantly change it?

Thanks for listening.

lrichmond86

Yes to all of this!  My three year old niece asked me "When will baby Gary be back in your belly?"  Up until now we've just been telling her that the baby went to Heaven, but I finally used the d-word with her and told her that he won't be because he died.  She seemed very surprised.  But like you said, it totally changes your mood when things like this come up. 

weddedwife

My DD will be 3 on Monday and I can totally relate to those unexpected questions. They do get easier for me as time goes by; I try to be as honest as possible with her and now that she's asked the same questions a bunch of times I am prepared with responses.

However, I do have to warn you that if/when you do get pg again there will be new hard questions. We held off on telling DD I was pg for as long as possible because it was so hard to explain that Nathaniel had died. But I have so many Dr. appts and she kept asking why so we had to tell her. She has asked if its baby Nathaniel in my tummy and I have to tell her no, Nathaniel died, this is a new baby. She has also asked if this baby is foing to die too and i tell her i hope not. I worry about how hard this will be on her if we have another loss but the reality is it will be hard on us and she will be consequently affected if that happens.

Now I am able to answer her questions without crying but it took a while. I think if you continue to be honest with your son as you are doing, he will gain a better understanding as he gets older.

Big hugs though, I know how those questions can be heartbreaking! 

tuscanbride2007

I am so sorry, I know how you feel. My DD will be 4 next month and was so much looking forward to having a little sister. She does a lot better with remembering that Annabelle lives in heaven, but every once in awhile, she forgets and says " when Annabelle gets here..." She has thankfully not asked me about having another baby, but we are going to see my pregnant SIL next weekend and I am afraid of the questions that could result in that. 

To top all of this off, I feel guilty for not being able to bring home her sister. I know deep down that it was not my fault, but I still feel like I failed. 

((hugs to you)) 

Carolee

tubbsy32:

Isn't is crazy that you can have a "good" day and then just 1 thing can instantly change it?

Yes, completely.  Big (((HUGS)))

justellabella

My sister was baby sitting our nieces 3 and 5 and overheard the 3 year old tell the 5 year old that they must go to heaven and save Logan for me this comes after her asking me where Logan is now because "she knows he was in my tummy and saw a picture on her mommy's phone but didn't see him in real life". - all the best with your future rainbow *hugs*