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hterry85

I know, I know, I just posted lol

DH signed the papers, but they are waiting until Monday to file to see what happens. He went ahead and paid the retainer, because regardless it's probably going to cost us at least the much anyway. But I really do think they sent something finally. DH told BM we were filing if she was still screwing around (I wouldn't have told her, but whatever) and she said that if our lawyer did not have it by the end of the day tomorrow to let her know, she had an email copy she would send us to at least look at while we waited for the lawyer to get it.

He also pointed out to her that neither of them (DH or BM) want to bend on the driving issue, so while he hopes to work out the other things, they'll probably end up in court regardless. She said that she proposed "something" for that...which I don't get...we're only asking for her to do HALF the driving..either she will or she won't. The only thing I can think of is she might agree to pick up from regular weekend visits, but not holidays or something? So this leads me to my question...if she agreed through her lawyer to do SOME driving, but not 50/50, and we take her to court to try to get it 50/50...would they give us any LESS that what she agreed to? I feel like her agreeing to SOMETHING would be a positive for us, because why would the courts make her do less than what she just agreed to, you know?

I know, I should probably just wait to see what it says instead of speculate, but I'm impatient

FutureMrsWittig

I'd think whatever she agreed to would be a sure thing for you, whether the judge orders 50/50 or not.

twister22

Idk how the courts in your area do it, but where we are anything you agree to in mediation holds no weight in court if things don't work out in mediation. BM may be saying something ridiculous like she agrees to do half the driving if you reimburse her for gas. Ha.

Question - How far away are you guys from each other? And how did it get to the point where you guys do all the driving? Who is the one and moved and why?

hterry85

twister22:

Idk how the courts in your area do it, but where we are anything you agree to in mediation holds no weight in court if things don't work out in mediation. BM may be saying something ridiculous like she agrees to do half the driving if you reimburse her for gas. Ha.

Question - How far away are you guys from each other? And how did it get to the point where you guys do all the driving? Who is the one and moved and why?

She actually already tried the one time they met to agree to split the driving if we raised CS...so yeah, basically pay her to do it. lol

We're about 45 minutes one direction. They were never married, and while they have both moved the overall distance is approx the same as it was when they were dating before SS was born.

The driving is what DH agreed to in the original CO He was smart in insisting they did custody the legal way and get a CO, but he had a crappy lawyer that let him get guilt tripped into a crappy CO. DH was a college student only working pt, so he paid close to the minimum is CS, and he compromised on a lot of this he shouldn't have to help "compensate" for that.

fellesferie

This was years ago and in another state, but my attorney told me that it's hard to predict what might happen in a court. 

The thing she was specifically referring to at the time was that XH was asking for six weeks of summer parenting time. I was okay with this, but I wanted to ask that it be split (ideally into three two-week blocks). Since it was not a HUGE deal to me, she urged me to just agree to the six weeks because a judge could decide to give XH more time.  

But possible and likely are two different things. 

ShawnJuliet

I don't know how people get others to do all or most of the driving.  It baffles me.  We live an hour and a half from each other.  Both of us moved in opposite directions.  But it used to be whoever was picking the child up would do the driving (making it 50/50).  Then, my XH decided that it was too far for him to drive one way and the judge designated a point to meet in the middle.  A couple of times, my XH would get the kids in the car and right before he left, he would say, "Oh, I don't have the gas to bring them back so you'll have to come to my house and get them."  How convenient (for him).  So, I went back to court and had it reinstated that whoever was picking the kids up did the driving.  That works best for us, I suppose.

Chance5291

If a judge thinks you are being picky or uncooperative they can do whatever they want including completely reversing custody or taking away what you already agreed to. It's a really fine line. Court is a crapshoot for the most part unfortunately