Why, oh why, do I go on baby showers?

nurrieum

kllrbnny:

ali_bl-nov05:

Scout2005:

who cares if she has three other kids under the age of 5 ALL BABIES DESERVE TO BE CELEBRATED YOU ASS

I really do believe this. Actually that is the reason why I agreed to a second baby shower. Why does it have to be only about the firstborn? I am as excited to be expecting as I was the firts time. Gift or no gift I would have celebrated this baby somehow, maybe a fancy photoshoot or something.

I think Scout was refering to the over-the-top parties with full on registries and MTBs that have 2yr olds who feel that they HAVE TO HAVE brand new everything or it means that nobody loves them and nobody even cares about this baby.

This is NOT every mom who has a shower for baby #2 etc, but there are more & more out there.

I knew a woman who has 8 children and she has her last 3 under 5. She had a shower for her last one- only 3 people showed up (my mom included). I'm not sure how many showers she had previously (at least one) but I think people were pretty scandalized anyway.

kllrbnny

nurrieum:

kllrbnny:

ali_bl-nov05:

Scout2005:

who cares if she has three other kids under the age of 5 ALL BABIES DESERVE TO BE CELEBRATED YOU ASS

I really do believe this. Actually that is the reason why I agreed to a second baby shower. Why does it have to be only about the firstborn? I am as excited to be expecting as I was the firts time. Gift or no gift I would have celebrated this baby somehow, maybe a fancy photoshoot or something.

I think Scout was refering to the over-the-top parties with full on registries and MTBs that have 2yr olds who feel that they HAVE TO HAVE brand new everything or it means that nobody loves them and nobody even cares about this baby.

This is NOT every mom who has a shower for baby #2 etc, but there are more & more out there.

I knew a woman who has 8 children and she has her last 3 under 5. She had a shower for her last one- only 3 people showed up (my mom included). I'm not sure how many showers she had previously (at least one) but I think people were pretty scandalized anyway.

Yikes. I think by the 3rd or 4th one they shouldn't be called "showers" anymore since the point of showers is to shower the new mom with gifts to help prepare her for this new chapter in her life. I have no problem with parties after the kid is born when there is no expectation of gifts.

ali_bl-nov05

Scout2005:

ali_bl-nov05:

Scout2005:

who cares if she has three other kids under the age of 5 ALL BABIES DESERVE TO BE CELEBRATED YOU ASS

I really do believe this. Actually that is the reason why I agreed to a second baby shower. Why does it have to be only about the firstborn? I am as excited to be expecting as I was the firts time. Gift or no gift I would have celebrated this baby somehow, maybe a fancy photoshoot or something.

Because showers don't celebrate the baby.

They celebrate the mom, and the reason they are called "showers" is because the intention is to "shower" mom with gifts to welcome her to motherhood

 The baby doesn't care. The baby isn't even born. I have no idea if my mom had a shower for me, it has not made me feel uncelebrated in my life.

Birthday parties celebrate the baby. Christenings celebrate the baby. Etc. 

A photoshoot you the parent decide to pay for celebrates the baby. Because the baby is you know, there. 

The gifts are for the baby, not the mom. Obvioulsy, the baby doesn't care so in a way I see what you mean that it is about the parents, but I still think is the new life being celebrated.

I don't know, I guess this kind of party has different connotations in different places. People in the US would have heart attacks about the way baby showers work down here (I'll just tell you that I'm consider a weirdo for not throwing my own baby shower. Nobody bats an eyelash about it)

In the end, I care deeply about people thinking I'm tacky and I give things a lot of thought to avoid it, BUT you can't really please everybody.

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ali_bl-nov05

shakes:

ali_bl-nov05:

Scout2005:

who cares if she has three other kids under the age of 5 ALL BABIES DESERVE TO BE CELEBRATED YOU ASS

I really do believe this. Actually that is the reason why I agreed to a second baby shower. Why does it have to be only about the firstborn? I am as excited to be expecting as I was the firts time. Gift or no gift I would have celebrated this baby somehow, maybe a fancy photoshoot or something.

To a point. I don't think it's right to register for second babies if first baby is still young, all the stuff they got is still perfectly fine for new baby.  

I don't think is registring per se, that is tacky, but it is to register for stuff that you already have.Having a kid doesn't mean you have all you are going to need, believe me.

I registered strictly for the "cheap" things, because the big ticket items are there and ready to be reused. I didn't include registry info neither, but everybody has asked about it.

People can get me whatever they want, I'm ready to buy everything I need and don't get, I'm not sweating it.

DragonflyBelle

Morethancottoncandy is being a sanctimonious c*nt and that's "bad manners".

If she get this worked up about a baby shower, I would hate to be around when an issue arises that actually matters in the grand scheme of life.

Srsly chill your damn tits already.

write2nicole

I agree that etiquette changes over time. Which is why I don't have to wear white gloves and a hat all over the damn place. Sounds appealing, except in the summer. 

While I'm flexible about shower stuff, including showers for second babies and such, I'm still perturbed by the "books instead of cards" thing. Mainly because I don't usually get a card. I get a small gift tag to tie to the gift or gift bag. Usually <50 cents. A book is substantially more. And I don't think there's any way to mention it on the invite that wouldn't make me feel obligated to get a book - despite the fact I wouldn't get a card anyway.

DragonflyBelle

gwinnygirl:

UO - I f'ucking love baby showers, anytime/any kid, I don't care, I'll go to any of them.  It doesn't really bother me if they tell me what to bring or where they're registered or if there's a theme.  I guess I've just never really cared about the etiquette surrounding them.

I'm going to go & eat food, ooh & ahh over gifts, play a game or two & have a grand old time.  Fingers crossed that I win a gift & there's mimosas!

 

+1 - I am going to buy what I am going to buy regardless of what the card says...I do shop off registries and I just love the food more than anything else.

kllrbnny

mollybloom:

Cause, now I am fighting with 2 of the girls there.

Couldn't help myself, I just went and stirred the pot over there. I just got through a few when one girl's condescending use of the word "Dear" flipped my switch.

"Dear, the rules are not and never will change, WE are the Authority and you WILL bow down to us."  /barf

LilyRose28

Sherbet Lemon:

ITA. And I am a teacher.

Plus, I just looked at the prices of my daughter's books. For example, The Little Hungry Caterpillar board book is $16. If you buy a good book, it's a lot more expensive than a card. If you want them, register for them, and you'll get plenty.

Where are you buying your books?! I think the Eric Carle board book I bought for a shower was about $8 and that was full price at Borders. TJ Maxx and Marshall's often have them for about half that price.

Also, the Kohl's Cares program is a good place to get some nice books for $5 a piece. I bought a few of the Nancy Tillman books to give as gifts when they were doing them around Christmas. I know they recently did Eric Carle. 

scoutkate

I'm lazy so a c/p from the UO thread:

I love the idea of bringing books instead of cards to a baby shower.  I love to read and my favorite books feel like friends to me.  I treasure the opportunity to introduce these "friends" into someone else's life.  We did the books thing at my shower and I am so grateful.  Not only does B have a fantastic library, but all her favorite books are inscribed with a sweet note from someone important to her and to me. 

wonkatalia

scoutkate:

I'm lazy so a c/p from the UO thread:

I love the idea of bringing books instead of cards to a baby shower.  I love to read and my favorite books feel like friends to me.  I treasure the opportunity to introduce these "friends" into someone else's life.  We did the books thing at my shower and I am so grateful.  Not only does B have a fantastic library, but all her favorite books are inscribed with a sweet note from someone important to her and to me. 

I wanted to do this for my baby shower but my mom said it was in poor taste to tell people what to bring me and that books are expensive.    We barely got any books as gifts so I'm building her library up on my own, in addition to the books I had as a child.

Traditions here do not change.

DragonflyBelle

Some of those judgmental skanks need to learn how to edit a quote tree....

Kitiara5512

Bunch of ninnies on that board if you ask me. I get that they have that board so the tri boards or others dont get inundated with baby shower questions, but JFC get a grip and save your energy battling out something that matters.

kllrbnny

DragonflyBelle:

Some of those judgmental skanks need to learn how to edit a quote tree....

It hadn't occured to this judgmental skank, so I went back & edited my ridiculously long ones.

kllrbnny

Kitiara5512:

Bunch of ninnies on that board if you ask me. I get that they have that board so the tri boards or others dont get inundated with baby shower questions, but JFC get a grip and save your energy battling out something that matters.

I think it is hilarious that cranag is SO worked up over it. I have fun poking the bear.

DragonflyBelle

kllrbnny:

DragonflyBelle:

Some of those judgmental skanks need to learn how to edit a quote tree....

It hadn't occured to this judgmental skank, so I went back & edited my ridiculously long ones.

 

I was talking about THEM...you know the OHMYGAWDYOUARECOMMITTINGSUCHBLASHPEMYBYASKINGFORABOOK crowd.

ablou

My opinion on registry info:

printed on shower invitations is okay (showers are gift-giving events, so registry info is helpful)

Enclosures are always tacky (and annoying). 

Any registry anything on/with a wedding invitation is horrible.

kllrbnny

DragonflyBelle:

kllrbnny:

DragonflyBelle:

Some of those judgmental skanks need to learn how to edit a quote tree....

It hadn't occured to this judgmental skank, so I went back & edited my ridiculously long ones.

 

I was talking about THEM...you know the OHMYGAWDYOUARECOMMITTINGSUCHBLASHPEMYBYASKINGFORABOOK crowd.

lol, I had my fingers crossed that you weren't talking about me.:)

It seriously hadn't occured to me to just edit the dang things though so I did. I'm quite glad you pointed it out.

blush64

I go to that board and I think sometimes things get out of hand but I still go back.

The asking for a book does bug me because I believe if you want books, register for them. It's not ok to ask me to buy a book for a card. I love books and usually get them as part of a present but I will decide what I buy.

 I am pretty easy going as far as what is ok or not. I believe you shouldn't host your own shower and you should be grateful for what you get. You can register if you want but can't expect people to buy from it. (it's their choice) Thank you cards are a must. And the shower should be properly hosted which can be a full meal or sandwhiches or punch and cake depending on how long it is and the time of the shower. I would never have less than a full meal but that's how I like to host.

Treat your guests like guests and if they offer to bring food, great. If they don't offer, don't request unless this is something that is a tradition in your family...I'm not going to judge your family traditions that only affect those in your family.

KarmB

I didnt know this board was private and we couldnt see people talking behind our backs. I feel special I was allowed to see it. Thank you.

ATMmom324

amys325:

I have actually not been to many baby showers in my life since most of my friends are just starting to have kids. But here are my take on them: 

If someone asked me to bring a book, diapers, etc., I would include that cost as part of the gift I am giving to them.

I actually hope that people put where they are registered on their invite, because I like to buy people stuff they need (we are a family of list writers for xmas and bdays).  Plus I actually don't think it's against etiquette to put registry information on a shower invite.  A wedding invite is not supposed to say anything about registries or gifts at all, but showers are ok.  Cause you are supposed to be showering the bride/soon to be mama with gifts.

I wouldn't mine writing my address on an envelope for a thank you, but I would get pissed if I had to actually write the thank you note (someone mentioned this above).

Games are a waste of time besides the bridal/baby bingo.  Then I can keep occupied while gifts are being opened.

And yes, I prefer for booze to be served at all functions.  Even just a mimosa or something.

And I said this in a thread a couple days ago.  I don't really like showers (I have 2 bridal showers this weekend and 1 baby that I can't go to), but for my close friends I wouldn't miss them.   

 

 

All of this.  I think we must go to the same showers. 

Sherbet Lemon

LilyRose28:

Sherbet Lemon:

ITA. And I am a teacher.

Plus, I just looked at the prices of my daughter's books. For example, The Little Hungry Caterpillar board book is $16. If you buy a good book, it's a lot more expensive than a card. If you want them, register for them, and you'll get plenty.

Where are you buying your books?! I think the Eric Carle board book I bought for a shower was about $8 and that was full price at Borders. TJ Maxx and Marshall's often have them for about half that price.

Also, the Kohl's Cares program is a good place to get some nice books for $5 a piece. I bought a few of the Nancy Tillman books to give as gifts when they were doing them around Christmas. I know they recently did Eric Carle. 

It, along with many other books, was given to me as a gift. (Which, amazingly enough, I was given without having to register for or request in a shower invite). The only guide I have for price is the price listed on the book - $15.99.  Maybe it's larger than the book you bought?

I'll definitely have to keep an eye out for the Kohl's Cares books when I get the itch to buy DD some more. Thanks for letting me know about that.

dragossoul84

Morethancottoncandy tends to give good advice and if you want to call another woman c*nt over advice on the internet you clear have more issues with manners than just what goes on at a baby shower.