*Loss Check-In*

Mrs Nice

Hello Ladies,

I am sorry to have to welcome new loss moms this week but am so glad that you have found us. I hope we can bring each other some much needed comfort and support. Please feel free to join in when you are ready and share as much or as little as you wish. Also, if you have any questions you would like answered, just ask! Any lurkers out there please don't be shy, we would like to be able to support you too.

Have you gone through therapy to talk about your loss? Has it helped? What are some other sources you use?

Where do you cry? In front of others or in private?

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

GTKY: What is your astrological sign? Is your horoscope usually correct? 

fluttergirlmoonchild79

Have you gone through therapy to talk about your loss? Has it helped? What are some other sources you use? I've done individual therapy and I didn't get much out of it.  My therapist seems to think that I'm doing just fine and after 2 sessions said "well, I'll see you when I see you!"  Um...ok.  I also go to group and find that to be much more helpful

Where do you cry? In front of others or in private?

I try not to in front of others but it has happened from time to time.  It depends on who it is.  I'll cry in front of DH or my parents or really good friends.  Other than that I try to remove myself.  Other than that I cry wherever.  I work from home so I I barely leave the house

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

The offer we had on our house fell through.  We've had 3 showings in the past week and 1 tomorrow.  My DH seems to think that this week is our week so I'm hoping he's right.

GTKY: What is your astrological sign? Is your horoscope usually correct?

I'm a Capricorn and while I don't read my horoscope every day, I've found that the description of a Capricorn dead on describes me

karebear57

Have you gone through therapy to talk about your loss? Has it helped? What are some other sources you use?

No though I probably should one of these days...I just go here or to some of the other moms from here and they usually help!

Where do you cry? In front of others or in private?

In private always. I do get teary from time to time in front of others.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

How much I miss our guineas Snowball, Snaptrap, and Pepe! So much! I get guineas to fill the void in our heart after we lost Bri then I wind up losing 3 beloved pets. This is so hard! 

GTKY: What is your astrological sign? Is your horoscope usually correct?

I'm a taurus. I don't usually read my horoscope but my sign is right for me! Too much so!

jbranden12

Have you gone through therapy to talk about your loss? Has it helped? What are some other sources you use?

Yes, DH and I started therapy a few weeks after our loss. We have talked about Patricia, but we have also talked about other things going on in our lives and plans we have for the future. DH was skeptical at first, and I definitely talk more than he does, but I think some of the conversations we've had with our therapist have helped.

Where do you cry? In front of others or in private?

Early on, I cried everywhere in front of everyone, because I was only ever around my close family and friends. Now, I cry a lot in the car. I try not to cry too much in front of DH, because he's in a place right now where it's hard for him to support me and I don't want him to feel guilty about that. 

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

So many things. Mostly trying to stay relaxed during our second cycle ttc. And I am worried about my DH. 

GTKY: What is your astrological sign? Is your horoscope usually correct?

Cancer. On the random occasions I read my horoscope in the newspaper in the break room, I nod and think "yeah that could be me." But I think if I was any other sign, I would do the same thing

Roxycc55

 First off, thank you ladies for being so welcoming to me on this board. I know I have been struggling to where I fit in, but you have all been so supportive, and I really really appreciate it. And again, so sorry that everyone has to be here.

Have you gone through therapy to talk about your loss? Has it helped? What are some other sources you use?

 I have not, my loss is still pretty recent so I am just now starting to really consider this. I actually work at a therapy clinic, so I am going to ask my supervisor who I trust for some referrals to people who can work specifically with me on dealing with my loss. I know that I need it from the mental health state I have been in recently. So far coming on here has been the most helpful way I have gotten through each day. Other than that the most helpful thing is how open I can be in talking things through with my FI. Sometimes I know the things I'm thinking or are sad about are a little too much for him because he isn't as openly emotional, so I also talk to my sister.

Where do you cry? In front of others or in private?

At first, in front of everyone. Now, mainly in private besides occasionally in front of my FI. I have found that because I was trying so hard not to cry in public before, I am almost stonewalled or numbed now, and couldn't most of the time even if I wanted to.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

I am really struggling with anxiety. About everything. But mainly because of the baby. I am nervous to start TTC again, and to be pregnant. And then I realized that once I have the baby, I will probably still be nervous about it, so I build my anxiety to higher and higher levels. Also, yesterday was one month, so it was a hard day. I was pretty depressed all day.

 What is yoru astrological sign? Is your horoscope usually correct?

I am a Gemini, and it fits me seriously 100%. I don't read my horoscope daily, but the actual description of my personality is very accurate. I also always laugh because my FI is a Libra, and our match is described completely accurately too.

dandywarhol

Have you gone through therapy to talk about your loss? Has it helped? What are some other sources you use?

This loss is still new and at this point. My mother is a therapist and I've had therapy in the past so I know what to expect but at this point I'm not sure I need it. Plus our region is rather small and I'm pretty sure that I would know any therapist around here so I wouldn't feel comfortable talking to them. DH is considering therapy for the loss and for other reasons. I found the journaling was my main help during our mourning for Sylvie. 

Where do you cry? In front of others or in private?

I cry in private and occasionally in front of DH. I haven gotten teary-eyed in front of others but try to keep it in. I have a stupid, irrational belief, that if people see me cry then they will think I'm weak. 

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

How to move forward. Our loss was on Sunday. This is our 3rd loss and our 3rd type of loss. It makes me wonder if/how we should TTC and if we will be able to TTC. The OB/GYN suggested that DH and I might want to get some genetic testing done, which of course makes me anxious that DH and I were not meant to have children together. *sigh* 

GTKY: What is your astrological sign? Is your horoscope usually correct? 

I'm a Leo. The general characteristics fit me pretty well. I don't often check my horoscope

tuscanbride2007

Have you gone through therapy to talk about your loss? Has it helped? What are some other sources you use?

I have not gone through any structured therapy about our loss. I have felt like this board and reaching out to other women that have experienced losses has been my therapy. But I am always open to going if I feel that I need to.

Where do you cry? In front of others or in private?

I cry mostly in private. I do tear up, but I do not like for people to see that so I excuse myself or change the subject. I try not have a messy cry unless I am at home.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

My birthday (coming up next weekend). I do not want to acknowledge it. Annabelle on my birthday last year and thought, phew, I am going to have my last baby before I get too old. And now I am another year older and who knows what this year is going to bring me.

GTKY: What is your astrological sign? Is your horoscope usually correct?

I am a Cancer and I actually don't look at my horoscope. I worked with a woman who was obsessed with reading hers (and my) horoscope every day but I always felt like I could make the prediction kind of fit my life. As with pp, I feel like I am a classic Cancer.

Lavender&Lillies

Have you gone through therapy to talk about your loss? Has it helped? What are some other sources you use?

I haven't gone through therapy. So far, I have gone to online support groups like this one and read blogs of moms who have had stillborn babies. I have also read a few books that have been helpful. Most recently I read "An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination". However, the most helpful thing for me has been talking to my friends (one of whom had a late term stillborn daughter), family, and doctor. Tonight, my husband and I are going to our first support group meeting. I am hopeful that it will go well. I think talking to and reading about families who have gone on to have take home babies has helped to give me hope for the future.

Where do you cry? In front of others or in private?

Both. One of the side effects to talking to friends and family is that I often tear up. However, I don't usually sob in front of other people like I did in the beginning. I have also appreciated being able to hide behind my sunglasses on several occasions.

What is on your mind this week?

We are getting ready to TTC. So I am nervous, excited, and hopeful about that. I am also really focusing on making sure that I am taking care of myself. I am trying to exercise, eat healthy, drink more water, take my vitamins and do things to destress (read, paint, write, listen to music) every day.

What is your astrological sign? Is your horoscope usually correct?

I am a Virgo, but I don't check my horoscope. 

I hope you all have a peaceful week.  

Petunia844

Have you gone through therapy to talk about your loss? Has it helped? What are some other sources you use? No I haven't, I was open to the idea if I felt like I needed it, but I never got to a point where talking to DH wasn't enough.  I also blog, and that's a great outlet for me. 

Where do you cry? In front of others or in private? Mostly in private or to DH.  I don't like to totally let my guard down when I'm not at home... I get frustrated when people make me cry in public places by pushing things or crying themselves.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Who knows, so many things... as my milestone starts to creep up I can't believe I had my sweet Peyton with me for so long before I lost him.  I'm optimistic for Raylan... just trying to focus on the hope.

GTKY: What is your astrological sign? Is your horoscope usually correct? Cancer, I dunno, I never check it.

lmielocl1

Have you gone through therapy to talk about your loss? Has it helped? What are some other sources you use?

I have not and am wondering if I should.  My dr has highly recommended that I do but I am scared! I am looking for a support group but have not found one yet that works for our schedule.   I do blog and have found that to be helpful -- and I read a lot of blogs too.  I have a friend who found out on the same day that I did that her baby at 16w passed away so we text all the time -- we met through our blogs, and have the same first name, are the same age (she is 40 & I am almost 40), and have so many similarities.  I am very lucky to have met her and wish that something other than our tragedies brought us together but at the same time, we are thankful there was something good come out of something so devastating for both of us.

Where do you cry? In front of others or in private?

I try to cry in private as much as I can but I have burst into tears at work (I try to close my door on my office but it has happened in the open too.)  I try not to cry in front of my son but have once or twice.  I often cry in the car though.  

What is on your mind this week?

Very nervous but excited about my RE appt on the 23rd to talk to my RE that helped us get pg with both of our sons.  I think having a plan in place will be therapeutic for me. We probably will not try for a while but having a plan is always helpful for me.

What is your astrological sign? Is your horoscope usually correct?

I too am a Virgo, but I also do not check my horoscope.  Although now I am curious so I might!

Thinking of y'all!!

- Leslie

~ Mommy to Aaron, 20 months, and to our precious angel, Ethan, born too early at 18w on 6/15/12 

Bayberry12

Have you gone through therapy to talk about your loss? Has it helped? What are some other sources you use?I did try therapy right after my loss.  It was helpful to receive somewhat of a time lime of what I could expect to feel.  Other than that, I did not find it helpful or comforting, in fact it was very upsetting and stressful for me to go and talk about my loss to some stranger who had never gone through something like this. Where do you cry? In front of others or in private?Pretty much anywhere - I something triggers me, the tears just come and I can't always stop them.  But most of the time I cry alone, either in the bathroom or when I'm going to bed. Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?Getting pregnant again, as usual.  I had a meeting with an MFM Dr. and went over what would happen if I become pregnant again. GTKY: What is your astrological sign? Is your horoscope usually correct? I'm an Arise, but don't usually read my horoscope.  

Mrs Nice

Have you gone through therapy to talk about your loss? Has it helped? What are some other sources you use?I have not gone through therapy. All you ladies are very helpful! Where do you cry? In front of others or in private?I cry in private. The shower or car usually. Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?Baby Milo has been on my mind and Becky. I don't know her, but my heart breaks for her and her family. GTKY: What is your astrological sign? Is your horoscope usually correct? I'm a Pisces. Most of the time my horoscope is fairly accurate.