Is this 'normal' 3 year old behavior?

Formerly Mrs D S

My 3 year old has become unbearable.. I love her so much but her behavior has always been bad.. because I am on maternity leave and spending more time with her I am realizing that its CONSTANT mood swings. 

 For example.. EVERY TIME she wakes from nap (on her own).. she is crying, screaming, ripping her clothes off.. I offer hugs and she swings her arms at me.. I try to ignore her and she screams mommy two hundred times.  I offer playtime/snack/tv... she starts screaming NO... I put on her favorite show thinking it will distract her and she screams STOP IT.. (right now this has been going on for 45 minutes)

 She does not listen.. constantly has an excuse or an answer as to why she should do something. She cries for hours before bed at night. 

DH and I are beside ourselves.  I am honestly thinking she needs a psychologist at this point.  Im nervous something is seriously wrong.

 It's so strange because she can be the most cuddly lovable little girl.. I just dont understand.

 She does go to "school" right now for 2 (1/2 days) and 1 full day... she was previously 5 full time days while I work F/T.. they tell me she is perfectly fine at school and does not act out at all.

eloosterhous

Oh my goodness - I'm so sorry you are dealing with this.  I have a 3 year old daughter, as well.  She is quite sassy and doesn't listen to me, but it's nothing to the extent that you describe with your daughter.  I, too, am on maternity leave and my daughter acted out for a few weeks because of the baby, but she has gotten lots better.  I question whether your daughter is just acting out because of the baby or if there really is an underlying issue here.  I would talk to the Ped. and see what they think and then go from there.  I'm sorry I don't have an answer, but as a Mom, you listen to your "gut" when you think something is wrong.  Good luck!

NJLH

Yes! One of my 3 year olds has become unbearable too (her twin is a little calmer but has her moments). This DD has a fit over everything, from getting dressed to sitting for a meal. She also "hates" everything. "I hate the playground. I hate gym class" I can keep going. I'm a SAHM mom and have definitely had my moments lately where I'm ready to go back to work. Hang in there...youre not alone!

Echowysp

With the way she acts after naps, my guess is she's maybe waking up too soon from the nap.  That's how my ds used to act if his nap was too short.  I thought he was getting enough sleep, but then realized that he was much better after longer naps/better sleep at night. 

Also, I had to just let him be and work it out of his system without much interaction with him.  I know when I'm super tired and someone tries to talk in depth with me right when I wake up, I'm a grump.  So, I imagine it's the same for them.  Sometimes taking him outside to "look at the trees" or "look for squirrels" helped.

 GL to you.  It's a challenging age.  I can tell you as a school psychologist, if she's acting properly at school, then most likely, there's isn't a major issue.  The kids I see act terribly both at school and at home. 

Formerly Mrs D S

thank you all for your support and advice.. not that I want anyone to go through this, but it is comforting knowing I am not alone..

AgrippaRidesAgain

It could also be the 3 week old in the house.  DS was a mess for the first month after DD got home.  He got a little better after that, but we didn't really hit an upswing in the complete moodiness and acting out until 3 months out.

steph_109

I agree with some of the other posters.  My son was a maniac for about 3 months after my daughter was born.  I actually called our pediatrician crying, asking her what I was doing wrong.  She said the adjustment period can take up to 6 months and to just hold on. 

I also picked up a book called "Raising Your Spirited Child" and it has made a huge difference in the way I handle and perceive my son's behavior.  I no longer feel like he is always being difficult (sometimes he is because he is 3) but now I realize that he is passionate and stubborn.....both of these are positive traits that will take him far in life but they sure do make things difficult when you are trying to juggle a preschooler and a newborn. 

 Good luck......it will get better!

j&j1999

Echowysp:

  I can tell you as a school psychologist, if she's acting properly at school, then most likely, there's isn't a major issue.  The kids I see act terribly both at school and at home. 

This makes me feel better b/c my dd also has these horrid mood swings, we call her our sour patch kid....1st she's sour, then she's sweet...so exhausting, b/c we know she can be so good!  

One thing that has helped us is trying to gauge if her blood sugar may be low (like first thing in the morning) and offering her juice right away.  We find she is most unbearable when her blood sugar is most likely low