Community› The Bump Message Boards› Late Term and Child Loss
Late Term and Child Loss
New Discussion

Not sleeping...

awitt8awitt8
in Late Term and Child Loss

I was hoping that this would get better but it seems to be getting worse. For the past two weeks or so, I have had the hardest time falling asleep. Most nights I toss and turn until the wee hours of the morning, finally falling alseep somewhere around when the sun is coming up. I also started working nights last week which has just made it worse. Thankfully I dont have to get up early for anything but still, it would be wonderful to sleep during the night (when I am not working) with my husband.

This weekend, my husband and I also decided that we feel ready to TTC after my next cycle starts. I am surprised to feel this excited. But mixed into that excitement is a lot of nervousness and a lot of guilt about feeling ready so soon after loosing our Colter.  I am afraid of having another loss. I feel guilty about wanting another baby when we dont have Colter. But we want to be parents to a take home baby so badly and while we both know that we can never replace Colter, it would be so wonderful to give him a sibling. It just sucks that we are in this place.

Here's to hoping my tylenol pm kicks in sooner than later. Have a good night ladies.

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
Report Reply to Post

Re: Not sleeping...

  • jbranden12jbranden12 member
    I'm sorry you've had such a difficult time sleeping. Please don't feel guilty for wanting a rainbow baby. We all understand, and obviously the fear is definitely rational, but your Colter would not want you to feel guilt. IT sucks that we all are in this place. ((hugs))


      Our Angel Patricia born sleeping 3/30/12 at 31 weeks
    Our Fighter Anna born early 1/8/13 at 26 weeks
    Hoping to bring home #3 due 9/9/15
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • Bayberry12Bayberry12 member
    I'm sorry your having a hard time right now.  TTC again is such a surreal experience now.  It should be a happy time full of excitement, but instead we have all these mixed emotions.  I hope things get easier for you.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 

    BFP #1 Jan. 2011 - mmc Mar. 2011 
    BFP #2 Aug. 2011 - My sleeping angel Stella, born April 21, 2012 
    BFP #3 Nov. 2012 - mmc Dec. 2012
    BFP #4 April 2013 - mc May 2013
    BFP #5 Sept. 2013 - EDD 5.24.14
    Report Reply
  • weddedwifeweddedwife member
    I had a hard time falling asleep for quite a while after Nathaniel died. Trouble falling asleep, trouble staying asleep... TTCAL and PgAL are scary and anxiety-ridden but I know that feeling of wanting another baby.
    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    Report Reply
  • tubbsy32tubbsy32

    I hope you get some sleep tonight! I hate those nights! We too are going to TTC this cycle. And now that you mentioned it, since we decided that my nights have been rougher with lots of CRAZY dreams/nightmares. Last month we didn't "try" but we didn't do anything to prevent it either and I woke up in the middle of the night and starting crying and was scared that I could be pregnant. Don't get me wrong we want a take-home baby, but I am terrified of another loss.

    So, like you said...it just sucks that we are in this place. Sleep tight <<fingers crossed>>

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Pregnancy Ticker
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"