First pregnancy and alone

namaste12

I just found out yesterday that I am pregnant, the situation is not what I had planned though. I am not with the father and never was, I was very drunk, we ended up having sex and now here I am.

I live with my dad and siblings and just told my dad today and while he is very supportive of me and said he would be behind me 100% no matter what I decide, the first thing he brought up when I told him was abortion, I could never do that just because the situation isnt what I had planned and it hurts me because this baby is more me then it is its father. 

I want to be excited about my baby even though the timing and the father may not be right its still my baby, I guess I just need some support I recently ended a 5 year relationship and lost all my friends along with my ex so I kinda feel alone right now.

Sorry for the rant I just needed to let it out.

tcfreedom

It doesn't sound ideal my any means, but that doesn't mean that this isn't a blessing.  Try to find the positives.  Make plans for yourself, be goal oriented. 

Take it one day at a time.  Just remember that this small person is now your responsibility. Get good prenatal care, take care of yourself.  I've been through some really life changing horrible things in my past and I know for a fact that we are usually much stronger than we ever realized before when the S really hits the fan.  But you can't let fear, or sadness, or anxiety get you so down that you don't do what you've gotta go to make your situation better.

I would suggest trying to find a support system.  If you are still living at home I assume it's because you're still quite young.  Sorry if that's not the case, your post seemed that way.  If that's truly the deal I would recommend looking for teenage mom groups, or even just single mom's groups where you can meet other mom's going through the same things as you.

Good luck!

namaste12

I am 23 so I guess that's still considered young lol I just recently moved back in with my parents after ending my engagement to my ex fiance (who is not the father).

I talked to my dad last night about keeping the baby and he is going to help me out where he can, but it would be nice to meet with other single pregnant women so I can have some female interaction with someone who understands what I'm going through, my best and only friend after the breakup just moved to California after we had a falling out so I'm feeling pretty lost.

nkistvjax08

I agree with tcfreedom, there is another forum CafeMoms that has alot of moms from all walks of life on there and I'm sure there is a single mommy group of laides that meet up in your area, if you're part of church joing the womens group there.. You could always get into a prenatal exercise group some where that may have single women there or even other pregnant women... I hope and pray things are well for you, the best advice I can add is to try your hardest and keeping your stress level low and have a positive vibe within you. Try to also involve the father and maybe he will come around over time..

LiebeMama

Welcome. That baby will still need a devoted parent, even if it is just one. A baby still deserves the same love and care, two parents or one. Hang in there!

StickyBaby

Sorry you are in a tough place. Remember all babies are a blessing no matter how they came to be.

Bemma09

I am sad to hear about your situation, but remember that every difficult scenario is an opportunity to create something better.  It may seem like you are alone right now, but the reality is that you are never alone. It sounds like you have a supportive father, and that is something to cherish.  Sometimes the Universe/God seems really hard on us for awhile, and we don't truly know why until many years down the road.  Hold your head up, conduct yourself with grace and commit to being a good mother.  I am not sure what faith/religion you live by (or anyone else on this board) so I hesitate to say too much in that direction. But, your name "Namaste" means "The divine light within me acknowledges the divine light within you."  We are all a part of this beautiful, crazy, whirlwind that we call life. Your life, no matter how difficult is a blessing...and the life of this new baby is a blessing too.  I am sending you light!

Namaste  

shortj

I went through a similar situation.  My daughter was apparently meant to be.  My boyfriend at the time and I were on a long distance relationship and he came down to visit me for about a week.  We barely had sex because we were going through a difficult patch and I took Plan B and I had only gone off birth control a month and half prior.  I was under a lot of stress at that time.  We ended up breaking up a month later and went our separate ways.  I'm in the military and continued to go through high amounts of stress for the next few months.  4 and a half months later I realized that I haven't had my period in awhile and took a test and it barely came back positive.  Checked it out at planned parenthood and it was confirmed.  I didn't know how far along I was and honestly thought I was maybe only a month along.  I debated abortion but wasn't sure if I could go through with it or not.  It is a scary thought being pregnant and alone and not sure how you are going to do it.  Had an ultrasound and found out I was 5 months pregnant.  An abortion was out of the question at that point.  So now it was look into adoption or go through with it.  Did I want to get out of the military and try and find a job and move back in with my mom or stick it out?  There are a lot of questions that go through your mind.  I was lucky enough that my college friend ended up getting stationed with me shortly after I found out I was pregnant.  She was a big help and support.  I ended up keeping my daughter and don't even know why I questioned it at all.  I love every minute with her and her name means "young warrior" because she fought through so much to survive the first few months and was meant to be.  She makes my life complete and I'm so happy to have her.  It seems like you have a great support system with your father and that is a great start.  Remember you aren't alone and it will all work out.  If you ever need to talk or anything I'm here along with many others.  Good luck with things.  A child is a blessing in so many ways.

namaste12

Thank you everyone for your supportive words, I am not religious but I do believe we are all connected by the same energy much like the Buddhist  faith. I know I am going to be a great mommy its just scary because I never planned on doing it like this especially after just getting out of a 5 year relationship, I had always planned on having babies with my ex so this was a huge twist in the life I had mapped out but I do believe everything happens for a reason and so this was meant for me.