Had first U/S today at 10w5d; no fetus detected. (long)

TKtravels

Hi everyone. 

I was so excited for my first U/S today.. until the doctor had trouble finding the fetus.  I have a beautiful yolk sac, and the amniotic sac is developed as it should be given my LMP.. but there is no fetus.  And so it goes..

I had no signs or symptoms of miscarriage that I knew of.. no spotting, no cramping.  Although as I type this, I'm experiencing mild cramps.  Can a transvaginal U/S cause cramps? 

I'm posting to get feedback from those of you who have experienced a loss on how you physically dealt with the loss.  

I'm upset, but I've experienced a lot of loss and disappointment in my life, so I'm rather adept at dealing with things emotionally.

Physically though, I have no idea.

Background:  I am living overseas, there is a bit of a language barrier, and medical practice is a bit different here (when compared to standard procedures in the US).

After performing an abd U/S and finding only a pregnant-lookng uterus, yolk sac & placenta, we moved on to a transvag and could see rather clearly that there is no fetus.  The doc performing the U/S (not my usual doc; I'll see her tomorrow) recommended that I go straight from his office to the hospital where I would stay for at least 24 hours (possibly longer) and receive vaginal suppositories every few hours, and then go under general anesthesia and have the curretage procedure. He stressed that this is not a D&C.  

When questioned as to why we should go ASAP (and not come home first, maybe call our US insurance company, etc.) he said it'd be best for my peace of mind.  To be clear, my physical health is not in danger; this is not a medical emergency.  

I've had friends in the US have miscarriages, and they were given the choice of taking some time to allow their body to try to handle it itself, take pills and then go home to allow the body to pass the remnants, or schedule a D&C.  I stated this to the doc, and he restated his belief that I should go to the hospital right away for the suppositories followed by a short surgical procedure.  

Needless to say, I didn't go straight to the hospital, and I'm not super keen on rushing into general anesthetic & surgery.

After your loss, how did things play out pysically?  Were you given options in your treatment?

Thanks in advance! 

TKtravels

And I just realized I posted this in the wrong loss board, and I can't delete it at this time.  Sorry!

Carolee

I'm so very sorry for your loss.  Don't worry about the post.  I hope you get some answers to your questions on the Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss board.

pottermommy

I am sorry for your loss.

marcsgrl

When I miscarried I had an interesting experience. I went to the er one night because of two light pink drops when I went to the bathroom. The er doc did an ultrasound told me everything looked good but that I should go in the following Monday for a transvaginal u/s to be on the safe side. Having no feeling that anything was wrong and the fact that there was no other bleeding I went Monday with my sister in law who dropped me off and waited in the car. I went in and during the u/s they told me that there was no heartbeat. They wouldn't let me see anything. They then told me to go to the waiting room where the doctor would come and visit me. I called my husband in tears and then called my sister in law who came right in to wait for me. This was at around 6 weeks. Finally I went into the room to see the doctor and was sitting in there when I heard them outside the door discussing my situation. A medical student was going to be giving me my options and the doctor was coaching her outside the door as to what to say. I heard them say that I would probably cry and ask for possibilities that things may still be ok and that she should tell me that it wasn't possible, I need to take the pills to pass the fetus, and push my body into the miscarriage. When the student came in. I just looked at her and said I am assuming that conversation was about me? She said yes. She explained that the yolk sac was there and that the embryo just had no heartbeat. I asked if it was possible that it was just too early to see it. She told me no that it should be showing and she gave me a prescription for the pills to insert to start labor. After calling my mom and crying my eyes out about it. She told me not to do anything until I spoke to my doctor. She later called and told me of stories she had read where people were told the same thing and after waiting two weeks and going for another u/s they found the heartbeat. I was really looking for hope and that is what these stories gave me. I went home and called the doctor, he told me to come in for an u/s the next day and not to take the pills. I went in and they checked the size and looked for a heartbeat. The size was good but the same as before there was no heartbeat detected. They told me that I could go home and wait two weeks then come back and they would check the size again. They said there was no harm in it staying in less I started to get a fever or if I started feeling sick in which case I should go to the er. This was mainly to give me peace of mind. I would have never forgiven myself for not giving it a shot to be ok. I still wasn't bleeding or cramping. I went for the second u/s two weeks later where it was determined that there was no heartbeat still and no growth. At this point I was able to accept that the baby was gone. I was then given a prescription for the misoprostel and also for percocet. That afternoon when I got home I started bleeding. I filled the percocet prescription but not the other one. At this point I wanted to see if everything would pass on it's own. This was a Wednesday night. I had major cramping and bleeding but it wasn't until around 4am that I started experiencing labor with bad contractions. I remember crying and sitting on the toilet just praying for some relief. I remember leaning to the side and putting my head against the wall and that slight shift caused the first big clot to pass. Once it passed it was an instant relief from the pain. I just cried knowing that I had passed a good part of my pregnancy. It was heartbreaking. For the next 24 hours I took the percocet as it was a great number for not only my body but also my mind. I also passed a few more rather large clots and then bled until around Sunday. If I had to go back I think I would do it all over again. I will never go back to that clinic where I had the first transvag u/s.

 

I definitely think that if you feel like waiting to see if your body will pass it naturally then you should. As long as you don't start feeling dizzy, feverish, chills, or sick to your stomach it isn't a problem. My doctor told me that sometimes when a fetus passes it can take up to three weeks to pass. It is a much safer option to let it pass on it's own. I had no problems with mine. Everything passed and I had a perfectly clean uterus at my u/s to make sure it all passed. I don't think I would have been happy taking the medication to pass it since I hadn't given my body a fair shot to take care of it on it's own.

 

Sorry for the long post but hopefully it will help you out to see that you do have options and that you don't have to follow the advice of one person in these situations.  

 

On the plus side of things after taking a month leave from work and getting my mind fixed up and dealing with my grief my husband and I waited two cycles (which lucky for me I got my period back 28 days after the miscarriage) and then started trying. The miscarriage was last July, in December I conceived again and I am now 29 and a half weeks pregnant with my very healthy baby boy. I know there are reasons why these things happen and that they are for the best. It is hard to say that but as hard as it was for me to hear it back then, I now know it to be true.  

I am very very sorry for your loss.

Good luck. 

TKtravels

Thanks for sharing your experience, marcsgrl!  And congrats on your pregnancy!  

It definitely helps to hear about it, and helps me feel less crazy for choosing to ignore the medical advice of two docs and just wait at home.  We've also booked flights back to the US and are moving back this week so I can see my own doc and have access to the standards of care that I'm used to.   

Physically, I'm totally fine right now, and I'm feeling much better now that I'm away from doctors trying to force me into induced labor followed by general aesthetic & curettage.  

My doc's office back home said I'm fine waiting until I experience signs or symptoms of infection, etc., and they're happy to see me and give me time to wait it out, send me home with mistoprostol, or schedule me for an American-style D&C once I get back.  

The situation sucks, but my stress and anxiety levels are much lower now.  

I'm also very thankful that these boards exist and that there are so many supportive people willing to listen and share their own experiences.  

Thanks again!