Who was holding the pool for bets on BM?

karatechrissy

Apparently, life isn't as wonderful as BM thought playing house with boyfriend of 2 weeks was going to be. It's been... Not 2 months yet of living together and she is looking to get out. She told her mom that prince charming hasn't paid for a darn thing since she moved in, she is broke, and is unhappy. Not surprised really. I'm a bit impressed she figured it out so quickly, but then it is her money that's being effected. So again, not too surprised. I feel so bad for SS. This will be his 4th move I. 4 months. I know she won't learn from this and will be moving in w the next guy that tells her she is beautiful. The cycle will just keep repeating. :-(

 She had a full on melt down on FB 2 days ago. She went to get her yearly done (check in accompanied by pictures of her in the office. Some ppl jus have no shame...) and went on a Tiraid about how she gained 5 lbs. GTFOver it... It's 5 fluffing LBS. 

 

4th of July was really great. We didn't have SS, but I'm sort of glad it wasn't our holiday bc I really think BM just needs to spend time w him. She needs that one on one and I know they don't get much of it. DD wanted to talk to him so she face time'd him. He said he was bored and asked us to come pick him up. I know they went to the park later for fireworks,but I'm sure the comment didn't help her already upset mood. :-/ kids behaves great though, we had a nice night.  

kali55

Your poor SS.  4 moves in 4 months?!?  That's so much instability for him

hterry85

You know, it's at a point where I don't know if her leaving is a good thing or a bad thing. Will the next one be better or worse?

karatechrissy

I don't think it would be easy to top the 'worse' train, considering how terrible super douche EXH was. My worry is that she will go back to him. Jen, she has BPD, and it has been suggested and straight out basically demanded she go by her parents. She says there is nothing wrong w her. She is so all over the place and co dependent and miserable, anyone could see she needs and has needed it for a long time. It's free through her church and even if it weren't her parents have excellent health ins that  she is covered by. Idk. I really really hope she figures out her life for SS. And it's not really this guy was horrible, he just is not ready (IMO) for a relationship w someone w a child. SS says he doesn't talk to him. I think he just wants to have a life and do as he pleases, which is fine for him, but he should have figured this out before they moved in together. Guess a 2 week courtship doesn't leave much time to figure that out. I guess we will see what happens. 

CFjo2010

This whole situation makes me so sad for your SS.  I'm sad for BM as well, since she clearly needs to be with someone in order to feel worthy and valued.  I hope that one day she's able to admit that she needs some help and will get into therapy and possibly on meds if necessary.  Especially since her parents have insurance that she can use so she won't be paying anything out of pocket.

I guess in situations like this all you can really do is maintain as much consistency in yuor household as you can for when SS is with you.  I know we have a similar issue with BM as far as relationships go, but thankfully she's stayed living with Gma for the past year so K isn't being disrupted too much.  But I'm sure having "mommy's boyfriend" change so frequently isn't teaching SS (and all kids for that matter) a healthy outlook on relationships.  Aside from the revolving relationships, 4 moves in just 4 months has to be incredibly hard on SS.  I'm sorry he's going through this (again) and I hope he has a visit with you and your husband soon so that he can have some stability for a bit.

karatechrissy

Jo - we have 50/50 custody, our week just started this morning so we will have him 4 days, and then he will go back to BM for 3, then back to us etc... His school is the school zoned for our house, thank goodness that he doesn't have to bounce around schools. His sports teams have been and will continue to be through the leagues and rec centers that are zoned for our house, so thankfully those aspects of his life will remain consistent. I hope she takes some time for herself once she figured out her stuff and leaves. 

bebe11

wendilea:

I am so sorry your SS has to be bounced around like this.  Unfortunately, I don't foresee her changing her behaviors anytime soon.  It's too easy for her to fall in with another guy who's going to be her white knight, and then turns out to be just another loser.

I have a friend who is my age (40), she has always been co-depended on men.  The men always came before her kids.  She has 3 kids that are minors, and all 3 live with their father's (2 have the same Dad and the youngest has a different dad).  She also has a 24 year old daughter, that was raised by her parents.  It is really sad to see.

On a positive note, at least your BM isn't getting knocked up by all these men.

karatechrissy

bebe11:

wendilea:

I am so sorry your SS has to be bounced around like this.  Unfortunately, I don't foresee her changing her behaviors anytime soon.  It's too easy for her to fall in with another guy who's going to be her white knight, and then turns out to be just another loser.

I have a friend who is my age (40), she has always been co-depended on men.  The men always came before her kids.  She has 3 kids that are minors, and all 3 live with their father's (2 have the same Dad and the youngest has a different dad).  She also has a 24 year old daughter, that was raised by her parents.  It is really sad to see.

On a positive note, at least your BM isn't getting knocked up by all these men.

She has fertility issues. Only reason she had SS was bc she was put on meds at 17 that did something to make her send out eggs (I guess that's er problem. Body doesn't release an egg) but that was a side effect for what the medication was actually for. In turn, was not on bc and DH has always hated condoms. They got pregnant. She has tried her whole marriage to her ex to get pregnant. Even started seeing a fertility dr. (the meds she was on weren't meant to help her get pregnant, it was a side effect. SS had a heart issue when he was born bc she got pregnant when she was on this medication and had 2 heart surgeries the first week of his life) if she didn't, I know she would have had one w EXH. They really wanted and tried hard to get pregnant.