High-stress job while pregnant!
Hi All,
I'm new to posting, but I've enjoyed reading about some of your pregnancies on the boards. I'm 18 weeks pregnant, first child, and have been having a pretty bad time so far. I've been sicker then at any other time in my life, but I'm taking Zofran now, which is at least helping me keep things down. But I can't wait to meet my little guy!
My question is this: how are you coping with working a stressful job full-time during your pregnancy? I work with bereaved families, and just this week something went wrong (partially my fault, partially not). I've been beating myself up about it ever since. It isn't fair to give my families anything less then 100%, but I'm really having trouble balancing my sickness, the doctor's appointments, work, home and my husband. I also don't think it's fair that my whole pregnancy has been controlled by my job, and I know that the job won't get easier and expectations won't let up as I get further along. I just started this job at the beginning of the year, since we weren't planning to start a family yet. I need the insurance and maternity leave, so I can't quit or cut back to part time. Is anyone else in this situation? How are you coping? I guess I just need some encouragement this week.... Thanks for any words of wisdom.
Re: High-stress job while pregnant!
Also - does your employer have some kind of Employee Assistance Program that offers free counseling (most do)? That may be an option and it's completely confidential. Hang in there!
Sorry, I came over to lurk but I'm a terrible lurker lol!
So you get my 2 cents.
I am an ER nurse, and was when I was pregnant with DD. (I actually went from ICU to ER in my second trimester, so it was extra stressful trying to learn a new "specialty".) I was also horribly sick with her, taking Zofran every 6 hours around the clock and still vomiting every day. Fortunately I had wonderful co-workers that could cover for me while I puked and then I just went right back into the job.
One thing that helped me was to really make a mental effort to separate work from home. I would get to work 5-10 minutes early and sit in my car and think about how I wanted my shift to go, what I really wanted to focus on skills wise and how I was going to do that. I sort of talked myself into "work mode" before I went in and it helped me really focus on what I was doing.
As for not taking work home with me, I haven't quite figured that one out yet lol! I guess part of the very stressful job is that it takes much longer to mentally process what's happened than it actually took to take care of the stressful situation.
Really I'm curious if these thoughts of it being too stressful for you have been building for a while or if it is just because of the one incident. I know that when something doesn't go as planned that I fixate on it and beat myself up constantly, telling myself I'm a terrible nurse etc, but really it's just the incident, not the job. Take a step back and work through that. If it is just the incident, see if there is someone at work that you can talk to about the incident. If it really is the job, talk to your boss about how you can lighten your load. Whatever you decide, good luck!
I'm the pharmacy manager at a high-volume pharmacy. Fortunately, my other pharmacists and techs have been extremely understanding, albeit not entirely willing to step up and take my load off.
Like the ER nurse, I get there a little early and either in the car or before the pharmacy is open (which is even better, cause then I can literally picture calmness in the place I work), and choose how my day will go and what I can do and how I can react to make sure it doesn't stress me or the baby out.
It helps that now I'm showing because customers and patients are far less likely to start yelling (at me anyway), but it still happens. I told my boss that I would not be taking any overtime, because, quite frankly, I can't handle it. It makes me way too tired. And I've started delegating the things that I can to other people. It helps them for when I go on maternity leave, and it helps me so I don't get overwhelmed.
Good luck!
I too have a job that can be stressful at times, I am a therapist with highly suicidal individuals. I would suggest looking into mindfulness or other forms of meditation to help you with leaving work at work. Imagry is something that works for some, breath exercises for others.
I have been fortunate to have mostly supportive co workers however have found that letting people know what is to much can be the hardest and most effective way to getting through.
Wow, thanks for the suggestions, these are all really good points. I am trying to do meditations, and it has been helping me to relax a little bit. Unfortunately, there are only two people at my organization, and although my manager has been incredibly supportive, there's only so much he can handle as well. Counseling is probably a good idea.
I'm not sure if this is stemming from this incident- I'm trying to get some perspective. It's been hard to tell since I've been pregnant almost the entire time I've been doing this job, so "regular" me probably wouldn't have an issue with the stress, but I'm a little scared of dealing with everything once Baby comes. I can't tell you all how nice it is to be able to vent here, and I'll definitely try some of your suggestions to leave work where it belongs. I've got so much respect for all of you working during pregnancy- and that includes working as a mom!
The time when I had morning sickness was really rough; I can definitely relate.
I am so glad I saw this thread! I'm in a similar boat - the stress seems to be building, rather than tapering off.
I was promoted at the beginning of the year, but then my father got very ill and was in ICU for several weeks in a nearby city. I was planning my wedding (in July), and we got pregnant right after the honeymoon. After taking time off for my Dad and the wedding, my job was ready for me to dig in, but my morning sickness was terrible. So rather than be supportive, they've been keeping a running list of all my mistakes this year. I'm 19 weeks now. My Dad's still sick, my new inlaws are nothing but drama, and work keeps twisting the knife. Those mistakes they've pointed out? After the year I've had, they just don't seem like that big of a deal to me.
I've been watching birthing videos lately, to create my birthing plan, and I see these women who seem so calm and centered and radiant - and I feel so jealous! I worry that all this stress could hurt my baby. Why can't I be like those earth mother goddesses?? I feel so deflated, rather than uplifted, most of the time.
I have started to notice if I work really hard not to "bring work home with me" then I am much better off. At the end of each day the last time I let myself think and stress about work is in the car. After I walk into the house I let it go, work can wait.
I have noticed lately since I've been averaging 55-60 hours a week that I dream about work a lot and wake up stressed out. Other than that I've just been trying to keep it calm and fun at the house. Hubby's been helping me a lot lately too he tries to do the laundry an cleaning when he can