What to do (Bump Drama)

graciesmurf

So I saw someone on here (TB not this board) who I know IRL.  She and I are related (cousins) but not super close.  I've told her that I'm pregnant, but she didn't tell me.  I'm not mad at her, because according to her ticker she's only 5 weeks along so it's still early.

I will not be telling anyone that I've seen her post here, because I know that's her news and her decision on when people should know.  My dilema is now that I know she uses TB what should I do?

Do I continue to post on my regular boards and wait till she notices me?
Do I send her a private message and just say, "Hey I see you're on here.  Congrats!"?
Do I try to avoid posting where she can see and act like I don't know she's here?

BabyHope2013

If that were me, I would just continue on with my normal business and wait till she noticed me. It's her news to share and I would rather tell the news myself if I were her.

thesarahg

BabyHope2013:

If that were me, I would just continue on with my normal business and wait till she noticed me. It's her news to share and I would rather tell the news myself if I were her.

This.

letitbe3

Hmm, that is a little tricky, isn't it... I guess it depends on her personality. Would she be upset if she found out/you told her later you knew she was on TB and didn't say anything? Personally, I wouldn't be - but I could see where some women might. How did you break the news to her about your pg? Phone? E Mail? I would say maybe talk to her in the same manner and just mention you noticed she was on, a huge congrats, and reassure her of your discretion for now.

landosmommy

I would PM her. 

letitbe3

letitbe3:

Hmm, that is a little tricky, isn't it... I guess it depends on her personality. Would she be upset if she found out/you told her later you knew she was on TB and didn't say anything? Personally, I wouldn't be - but I could see where some women might. How did you break the news to her about your pg? Phone? E Mail? I would say maybe talk to her in the same manner and just mention you noticed she was on, a huge congrats, and reassure her of your discretion for now.

I should have read more closely that you two weren't very close... in that case, I'd do nothing and wait as pp suggested and keep my lips sealed about noticing her. She may feel like her privacy was invaded a little...?

brianabrad

landosmommy:

I would PM her. 

Same. I would send her a message to say that you saw her, congrats and that don't worry her secret is safe with you. And then like you already said, don't tell anyone because it should be her news to share.

I was "found" on TB by some of my TK friends before we had announced. They sent me a PM and it was actually nice to have someone I could talk baby too before we went public with it.

graciesmurf

letitbe3:

Hmm, that is a little tricky, isn't it... I guess it depends on her personality. Would she be upset if she found out/you told her later you knew she was on TB and didn't say anything? I don't think so.  But this is something that I'm worrying about... What if something goes wrong in her pregnancy?  Then I know something that she might NEVER have wanted me to know.

How did you break the news to her about your pg? Phone? E Mail? I called her, but I had called her mom, my aunt, first.  Her mom got the news to her before I called.  (My mom's one of 7 so I was working my way through the aunts and uncles then doing the cousins.)  And again, we're not close.  the last time I called her was to tell her I was engaged (almost 2.5 years ago now).  A lot of our communication is facebook. I would say maybe talk to her in the same manner and just mention you noticed she was on, a huge congrats, and reassure her of your discretion for now.

 

graciesmurf

graciesmurf:

letitbe3:

Hmm, that is a little tricky, isn't it... I guess it depends on her personality. Would she be upset if she found out/you told her later you knew she was on TB and didn't say anything? I don't think so.  But this is something that I'm worrying about... What if something goes wrong in her pregnancy?  Then I know something that she might NEVER have wanted me to know.

How did you break the news to her about your pg? Phone? E Mail? I called her, but I had called her mom, my aunt, first.  Her mom got the news to her before I called.  (My mom's one of 7 so I was working my way through the aunts and uncles then doing the cousins.)  And again, we're not close.  the last time I called her was to tell her I was engaged (almost 2.5 years ago now).  A lot of our communication is facebook. I would say maybe talk to her in the same manner and just mention you noticed she was on, a huge congrats, and reassure her of your discretion for now.

 

lol, you updated while I was typing this. nvm

pghctwife

I wouldnt say anything and just pretend you didnt see her/didnt realize it was her.

jobiann

BabyHope2013:

If that were me, I would just continue on with my normal business and wait till she noticed me. It's her news to share and I would rather tell the news myself if I were her.

Exactly. 

ShandaB

I would just post like normal and wait for her to tell you that she's pregnant.  She may not be ready to tell people since she's so early.

kenna_4

Pgh-CTBride:

I wouldnt say anything and just pretend you didnt see her/didnt realize it was her.

This.

 

graciesmurf

Thank you all so much for your advice.  I'm going to wait untill she tells/notices me.

tailanis

jjr1214:

BabyHope2013:

If that were me, I would just continue on with my normal business and wait till she noticed me. It's her news to share and I would rather tell the news myself if I were her.

 I agree with this.  

Me too... I think that I would just let her be and wait for her to say something

tailanis

jjr1214:

BabyHope2013:

If that were me, I would just continue on with my normal business and wait till she noticed me. It's her news to share and I would rather tell the news myself if I were her.

 I agree with this.  

Me too... I think that I would just let her be and wait for her to say something ,

tailanis

jjr1214:

BabyHope2013:

If that were me, I would just continue on with my normal business and wait till she noticed me. It's her news to share and I would rather tell the news myself if I were her.

 I agree with this.  

Me too... I think that I would just let her be and wait for her to say something,

tailanis

jjr1214:

BabyHope2013:

If that were me, I would just continue on with my normal business and wait till she noticed me. It's her news to share and I would rather tell the news myself if I were her.

 I agree with this.  

Me too... I think that I would just let her be and wait for her to say something.

tailanis

jjr1214:

BabyHope2013:

If that were me, I would just continue on with my normal business and wait till she noticed me. It's her news to share and I would rather tell the news myself if I were her.

 I agree with this.  

Me too... I think that I would just let her be and wait for her to say something.

ungraceful13

I'd continue on in my business pretending I didn't see. My SIL is a bumpie but doesn't post much. I don't know if she lurks but I like that I got to tell her and feel it is more personal that way. But a discrete PM isn't a bad idea.

BLPL101

Pgh-CTBride:

I wouldnt say anything and just pretend you didnt see her/didnt realize it was her.

This.

TofuMama7

BabyHope2013:

If that were me, I would just continue on with my normal business and wait till she noticed me. It's her news to share and I would rather tell the news myself if I were her.

I agree with this. Obviously she doesn't want people to know yet (or she'd be telling) so it might stress her out that you know. You don't know her situation, like if she's had previous miscarriages if she's had any complications so far etc. she may really not be ready for people to know.

I wouldn't avoid posting where she is, just don't call her out.