Ugh, can't we spend any holiday away from MIL??

valerieanne9015

I love that we live so close to my mom and MIL since they are always around if I need someone to watch DD and it's great that she gets to see her Grannie and Nana all the time.  But it would be nice to be able to spend sometime away from them as well.  MIL just texted and asked if she can go to the parade with DD and I tomorrow (DH will finally be home, but he's driving the float for DD's daycare).  I was hoping to just go alone or meet up with another family I know will be there, I get so annoyed with MIL sometimes and I know tomorrow will lead to me being annoyed if I have to sit through an entire parade and all the rest of the day with her!  Plus, I always feel bad doing something like this with one grandma and not the other, so I'll feel obligated to invite my mom as well.  Anyone else have to deal with the fairness thing?  Or how do you deal with holidays like the 4th and IL's/your family?  UGH....I used to love the 4th of July, but once again it's another holiday I'm dreading because it will be stressful having to deal with everyone all day.  

Wow, ever since having DD I've become a huge Scrooge about all holidays!  I don't like it!! 

valerieanne9015

She just texted again, "Zoe's first parade!!!"  Can't I spend any of these firsts alone with my DD??  She had these firsts with 3 kids, let me have them with my one! 

alyss0nl

I think it's great that you MIL wants to spend time with your LO, but I understand why you're frustrated. You could tell her that you are watching the parade with another family so that your DD can have a little "playdate" and that maybe she could see her afterwards. I'm lucky in the sense that my MIL is very flexible when it comes to seeing DS and when it works for us.

RedCamaro

Yes you can spend some time alone with just your little family! Trust me, I've had 5 years to learn this, stick up for what you want and do it early! If you don't you'll be rooked into "Well last year you did _______." What we started early was alternating the holidays with the family, but only the big ones. The smaller ones, and for us the 4th of July is smaller, we do whatever. Sometimes we spend it just to ourselves, and others we go to my parent's or DH's parent's house. Stick up for what you want, and GL!!

StacyJYay

You certainly can spend any and as many holidays away from MIL.  You CAN say no, it's totally up to you.  In this case, how about something like this:  "We've actually made plans to watch the parade with another family so tomorrow doesn't work, but how about we all get together on Saturday for a special Nana/Baby playdate? Let me know and have a happy 4th of July!" 

raepny2

Oh seriously. I just had a fight with my own mother about how we have to see both families on holidays. Like I enjoy dragging my child around and have everyone try to touch him and kiss him. No thank you. Whatever. I'm to the point where I don't give a crap about making anyone happy but myself, DH and DS.

valerieanne9015

Well I made it easy on my and DD and just walked in the parade instead!  LOL, I ignored MIL's calls and just hung out with the daycare float DH wa driving, so it worked out fine for all of us.  Except that DD didn't sleep most of the day because there was too much excitement!