Bed sharing and getting toddler to put himself to sleep

SchroederMommy2Two

So we bedshare with my toddler, which I absolutely LOVE..and we plan on bedsharing with our little girl who is due in November. When my son (who just turned 2) naps or goes to bed I lay with him usually anywhere from 5-20 minutes and he goes to sleep just fine. My fear however is that when the baby comes this will be too hard and so maybe it's a good idea to teach him how to fall asleep in bed on his own and then we curl up with him later. I would love some AP ideas on this! Has anyone done this and was able to keep snuggling when child #2 came? What worked best for getting your toddler to sleep on their own?

celiabwatson

My toddler not only cuddles to sleep, he nurses to sleep. It is definitely something I wish we'd worked on before baby arrived, just shortening the duration if nothing else. He can take up to an hour for bedtime if he's not sufficiently tired out (and he's high energy). 

I'll tell you the routine we're using now, based on the fact that we didn't work on it beforehand. It is important to note that 6 nights a week my husband is not home at bedtime, so I'm on my own. This is what I've worked out.

-Get baby changed and ready for bed, lots of loving and kisses.

-Put her down in her crib with some toys, help toddler brush teeth.

-Get toddler changed and in bed (if the baby is crying I'll pick her up and soothe her at this point, but she's usually ok until I turn the lights off).

-Lights off, light up lullaby thing in the crib on, get in bed with toddler to nurse.

-Toddler nurses and I sing to the baby, she fusses but doesn't generally cry a lot. If she cries I will get up and rock with her. Otherwise I wait until my son latches off and then I get up and rock the baby. My son rolls around on the floor, tries to get comfortable in bed, talks to his stuffed animals etc etc.

-When the baby is asleep I get back in bed with the toddler and wait for him to fall asleep.

So you can see how my toddler having a shorter routine would make my life easier, but it does work and I do it alone 6 nights a week so there's that.

Nap time is harder because my toddler is definitely not tired enough then. But luckily my husband is home at that time most days. Also, you can try to adjust your older one's naps so that you're putting him down at times when the baby is asleep. It won't always work, but it's a good goal. 

SchroederMommy2Two

Wow thanks! That is great info, ya my husband works second shift so we could definitely get him to do naptime for my toddler, and I really wanted to just cuddle with both of them and not leave the other one out because we do all cherish that bonding time. Thanks for the advice

pitterpatter129

We're in the same boat.  I kind of kicked our toddler out of our bed the last two weeks.  I'm pregnant and none of us were getting enough sleep with him rolling around all night.  Two - three weeks ago I decided I was going to the do the Sleep Lady Shuffle and put him in HIS bed.  This was a nightmare and didn't really work well.  I ended up just sitting in his room half the night, which didn't help our sleep issues.  He would wake up the second I left.  So, one night I just made him a pallet on the floor next to my bed and he slept through the night there for the first time EVER.  He's been sleeping there all week this past week and half and sleeping all night.  If he wakes up or gets fussy, I just reassure him from my bed and sing or say shhhh and he goes right back to sleep.  It's been wonderful and I might just get a toddler bed and put it in our room for now.  I'd rather him be close anyhow where I can hear him breathe.    I think he'll be less jealous of the new baby (who I think we will side car this time) if he's in there too.

 

pixieprincss

I had similar fears and then decided that I wouldn't treat anything as a problem until there was an actual problem. For all I know, DS may phase into this all on his own by the time that it becomes an issue or new baby may be a great on-his/her-own sleeper from the start or maybe be an easy sleeper at the start but then at 6 months will have issues but my then DS will be more into self-soothing. For me, I decide that my "solving" something, I might be creating unexpected problems at worst and missing out on precious cuddle time with my still little guy at best. We;ll take it a day at a time! It is a scary idea, but it is also the one that gave me the most peace.

SchroederMommy2Two

I love that "one day at a time thing"! I know, the thought of me missing out on that cuddle time brings me to tears I just want them both by my side, I think I will do just that and wait, maybe I will be pleasantly surprised by how it goes. There are only so many years where they are this cuddly