CS modification

CFjo2010

My husband received notice today that BM wants to reevaluate the CS. She went to DCSS asking for a modification. Her reason? "Due to my increase in PTA responsibilities, I cannot work the hours I?ve been working." SMH. Seriously? You?re barely working 20 hours a week as it is, and now you want us to pay more to you each month so you can take on a PTA position that you literally cannot afford to do?

I am all for parents being involved in their child?s school, but when it means you stop working to do so, there?s a problem. Especially since she didn?t volunteer or participate in any of the PTA sponsored activities this past school year. Now she suddenly cares enough to be involved? Whatever.

End vent

Holly_1007

when was your last modification? I don't think a judge will look at it unless its been 2-3 years. 

and honestly, PTA takes up THAT much time????? I hope a judge eye rolls the shiit out of BM and computes her wage at full time/minimum wage.

 

scoobyd266

BM sounds a lot like my DHs EW, who will do just about anything to do less and make more money. Maximum imput for minimum output! It's disgusting that she gets away with it for the most part too. I feel your pain! Sorry you have to deal with it too

Hopeforthebest

That is beyond lame.

On another note: Almost Tuesday :-)

CFjo2010

It's been a little over a year since the last CS order.  In CA you can request a modification once a year, or when there's a change in circumstances.  So technically, she's entitled to a review.  But I hardly consider her volunteering for a PTA board position a "change in circumstances".  She's already being inputted at full time minimum wage as it is, and if we have to pay attorneys fees for this crap, he's going to demand that she be inputted at the median rate for massage therapists.  She has the license but chooses not to use it.  It's just such BS.

I know the CS isn't going to be raised over something like this, it's just a frustrating waste of time.

Holly_1007

jobalchak:

It's been a little over a year since the last CS order.  In CA you can request a modification once a year, or when there's a change in circumstances.  So technically, she's entitled to a review.  But I hardly consider her volunteering for a PTA board position a "change in circumstances".  She's already being inputted at full time minimum wage as it is, and if we have to pay attorneys fees for this crap, he's going to demand that she be inputted at the median rate for massage therapists.  She has the license but chooses not to use it.  It's just such BS.

I know the CS isn't going to be raised over something like this, it's just a frustrating waste of time.

definitely a frustrating waste of time! see if you can have your attorneys fees taken into consideration as well, or have BM reimburse you for them.

Wahoo

Are there any people involved in the PTA who work full time?  I know at DS's and DD's school, there are a number of parents who work full time and still make time for the PTA.  Yes, they are limited to certain activities, but a number of the PTA activities take place at night or on the weekends anyway.  Unless the PTA meets during the day, I see no reason why she needs to work fewer hours.

CFjo2010

holly71087:

jobalchak:

It's been a little over a year since the last CS order.  In CA you can request a modification once a year, or when there's a change in circumstances.  So technically, she's entitled to a review.  But I hardly consider her volunteering for a PTA board position a "change in circumstances".  She's already being inputted at full time minimum wage as it is, and if we have to pay attorneys fees for this crap, he's going to demand that she be inputted at the median rate for massage therapists.  She has the license but chooses not to use it.  It's just such BS.

I know the CS isn't going to be raised over something like this, it's just a frustrating waste of time.

definitely a frustrating waste of time! see if you can have your attorneys fees taken into consideration as well, or have BM reimburse you for them.

I wish we could.  But even if it was ordered she pay them, she never will.  Just like she has never reimbursed us for any of K's medical expenses.  And getting a judgement against her for the money does no good since she doesn't have any assets to attach the judgement to.  The time and expense involved in going after her just doesn't seem worth it.  If she ever gets married we may go ahead and get the judgement to attach to whatever assets she jointly owns with her spouse, but I don't see her getting married anytime soon, if ever.

CFjo2010

Wahoo:

Are there any people involved in the PTA who work full time?  I know at DS's and DD's school, there are a number of parents who work full time and still make time for the PTA.  Yes, they are limited to certain activities, but a number of the PTA activities take place at night or on the weekends anyway.  Unless the PTA meets during the day, I see no reason why she needs to work fewer hours.

PTA meetings are in the evenings, and I know the PTA President is a teacher at the school.  Also, a number of the other parents work full-time (as parents at your children's school do).  BM could very easily work full-time, she just doesn't want to.  Even if the PTA did take away from her work availability, that's no reason for her to be "entitled" to more CS.  Being a part of the PTA is strictly voluntary.  If someone can't afford to be on the PTA Board because of they need to support their child, then don't sign up for it.  This is just another one her reasons to not work so she can keep complaining to everyone that my husband doesn't support K and that she's so broke, blah, blah, blah.

bebe11

jobalchak:

Wahoo:

Are there any people involved in the PTA who work full time?  I know at DS's and DD's school, there are a number of parents who work full time and still make time for the PTA.  Yes, they are limited to certain activities, but a number of the PTA activities take place at night or on the weekends anyway.  Unless the PTA meets during the day, I see no reason why she needs to work fewer hours.

PTA meetings are in the evenings, and I know the PTA President is a teacher at the school.  Also, a number of the other parents work full-time (as parents at your children's school do).  BM could very easily work full-time, she just doesn't want to.  Even if the PTA did take away from her work availability, that's no reason for her to be "entitled" to more CS.  Being a part of the PTA is strictly voluntary.  If someone can't afford to be on the PTA Board because of they need to support their child, then don't sign up for it.  This is just another one her reasons to not work so she can keep complaining to everyone that my husband doesn't support K and that she's so broke, blah, blah, blah.

OMG - I wouldn't be able to see straight if I had to deal with this kind of BS! I am sure the judge will see right through it.

Is she just lazy and doesn't want to work?

captainobvious12

jobalchak:

It's been a little over a year since the last CS order.  In CA you can request a modification once a year, or when there's a change in circumstances.  So technically, she's entitled to a review.  But I hardly consider her volunteering for a PTA board position a "change in circumstances".  She's already being inputted at full time minimum wage as it is, and if we have to pay attorneys fees for this crap, he's going to demand that she be inputted at the median rate for massage therapists.  She has the license but chooses not to use it.  It's just such BS.

I know the CS isn't going to be raised over something like this, it's just a frustrating waste of time.

So busy VOLUNTEERING for her PTA board position that she doesn't have time to WORK? But not so busy volunteering that she doesn't have time to sit in court...

CFjo2010

captainobvious12:

jobalchak:

It's been a little over a year since the last CS order.  In CA you can request a modification once a year, or when there's a change in circumstances.  So technically, she's entitled to a review.  But I hardly consider her volunteering for a PTA board position a "change in circumstances".  She's already being inputted at full time minimum wage as it is, and if we have to pay attorneys fees for this crap, he's going to demand that she be inputted at the median rate for massage therapists.  She has the license but chooses not to use it.  It's just such BS.

I know the CS isn't going to be raised over something like this, it's just a frustrating waste of time.

So busy VOLUNTEERING for her PTA board position that she doesn't have time to WORK? But not so busy volunteering that she doesn't have time to sit in court...

She's so busy volunteering for the PTA board position that was originally offered to me but I turned down.  She threw a temper tantrum when she found out they offered me a Board position (I was incredibly involved with the PTA last school year and will continue to be more involved now that K and my daughter will be there together) and decided she wanted it even though she wasn't at all involved and didn't want to be.

Again, it's all BS.

CFjo2010

bebe11:

jobalchak:

Wahoo:

Are there any people involved in the PTA who work full time?  I know at DS's and DD's school, there are a number of parents who work full time and still make time for the PTA.  Yes, they are limited to certain activities, but a number of the PTA activities take place at night or on the weekends anyway.  Unless the PTA meets during the day, I see no reason why she needs to work fewer hours.

PTA meetings are in the evenings, and I know the PTA President is a teacher at the school.  Also, a number of the other parents work full-time (as parents at your children's school do).  BM could very easily work full-time, she just doesn't want to.  Even if the PTA did take away from her work availability, that's no reason for her to be "entitled" to more CS.  Being a part of the PTA is strictly voluntary.  If someone can't afford to be on the PTA Board because of they need to support their child, then don't sign up for it.  This is just another one her reasons to not work so she can keep complaining to everyone that my husband doesn't support K and that she's so broke, blah, blah, blah.

OMG - I wouldn't be able to see straight if I had to deal with this kind of BS! I am sure the judge will see right through it.

Is she just lazy and doesn't want to work?

Yes and yes.  She believes that when she got pregnant my husband was supposed to marry her and take care of her (they were broken up when she found out she was pregnant).  Even after all this time she hasn't figured out that you're only entitled to spousal support if you were married.  She has repeatedly told him (and the Judge, and parents at school, and anyone who will listen) that he needs to support her so that she can be home with K.  Um, K's going to be in 1st grade in the Fall.  Get a normal 9-5 job and be an adult.  Instead she chooses to work at restaurants or retail, and her hours are crazy.  Then she gives them nearly impossible availability and they end up firing her after a few months.

nurrieum

captainobvious12:

jobalchak:

It's been a little over a year since the last CS order.  In CA you can request a modification once a year, or when there's a change in circumstances.  So technically, she's entitled to a review.  But I hardly consider her volunteering for a PTA board position a "change in circumstances".  She's already being inputted at full time minimum wage as it is, and if we have to pay attorneys fees for this crap, he's going to demand that she be inputted at the median rate for massage therapists.  She has the license but chooses not to use it.  It's just such BS.

I know the CS isn't going to be raised over something like this, it's just a frustrating waste of time.

So busy VOLUNTEERING for her PTA board position that she doesn't have time to WORK? But not so busy volunteering that she doesn't have time to sit in court...

This! 

fauxshelley

jobalchak:

Yes and yes.  She believes that when she got pregnant my husband was supposed to marry her and take care of her (they were broken up when she found out she was pregnant).  Even after all this time she hasn't figured out that you're only entitled to spousal support if you were married.  She has repeatedly told him (and the Judge, and parents at school, and anyone who will listen) that he needs to support her so that she can be home with K.  Um, K's going to be in 1st grade in the Fall.  Get a normal 9-5 job and be an adult.  Instead she chooses to work at restaurants or retail, and her hours are crazy.  Then she gives them nearly impossible availability and they end up firing her after a few months.

OMG, as a single mom, this infuriates me.  I work my ass off to take care of my kids.  MY XH does pay cs, and I just make ends meet.  Wouldn't I love to work part time and volunteer at my DD's school all day? Sure, but I have responsibilities, bills to pay, more important than that, I want to show my DD independance.  I don't sponge off my parents, the government, or my XH.  Sorry for the rant, useless people piss me off.

Ginlyn0

This makes me LOL.

 I'm from a state that doesn't even calculate the CP's income into CS at all (not saying that is good because I think it should be included in the calculation), but this seems absolutely ridiculous to me.

 Also, she is obviously lazy. I am a FT working mom, FT student (mainly online courses), an assistant leader for the girls' GS troop and still have time to attend all of the kids extracurricular events and we have 4 kids that have activities. It seems laughable to me that a mom to 1 child doesn't have time to work and volunteer at one activity.

bebe11

fauxshelley:

jobalchak:

Yes and yes.  She believes that when she got pregnant my husband was supposed to marry her and take care of her (they were broken up when she found out she was pregnant).  Even after all this time she hasn't figured out that you're only entitled to spousal support if you were married.  She has repeatedly told him (and the Judge, and parents at school, and anyone who will listen) that he needs to support her so that she can be home with K.  Um, K's going to be in 1st grade in the Fall.  Get a normal 9-5 job and be an adult.  Instead she chooses to work at restaurants or retail, and her hours are crazy.  Then she gives them nearly impossible availability and they end up firing her after a few months.

OMG, as a single mom, this infuriates me.  I work my ass off to take care of my kids.  MY XH does pay cs, and I just make ends meet.  Wouldn't I love to work part time and volunteer at my DD's school all day? Sure, but I have responsibilities, bills to pay, more important than that, I want to show my DD independance.  I don't sponge off my parents, the government, or my XH.  Sorry for the rant, useless people piss me off.

I've also always worked a full time job, and when I was single... I worked and was my DD's room Mom one year.  I am guessing that this BM doesn't want to work, and is trying to find some way to justify her lazy behavior?

CFjo2010

fauxshelley:

jobalchak:

Yes and yes.  She believes that when she got pregnant my husband was supposed to marry her and take care of her (they were broken up when she found out she was pregnant).  Even after all this time she hasn't figured out that you're only entitled to spousal support if you were married.  She has repeatedly told him (and the Judge, and parents at school, and anyone who will listen) that he needs to support her so that she can be home with K.  Um, K's going to be in 1st grade in the Fall.  Get a normal 9-5 job and be an adult.  Instead she chooses to work at restaurants or retail, and her hours are crazy.  Then she gives them nearly impossible availability and they end up firing her after a few months.

OMG, as a single mom, this infuriates me.  I work my ass off to take care of my kids.  MY XH does pay cs, and I just make ends meet.  Wouldn't I love to work part time and volunteer at my DD's school all day? Sure, but I have responsibilities, bills to pay, more important than that, I want to show my DD independance.  I don't sponge off my parents, the government, or my XH.  Sorry for the rant, useless people piss me off.

Don't apologize for your rant, I've ranted about this for years. I have no patience for lazy moochers. When my XH and I separated I was working full-time, going to school full-time and raising my 2 children with zero financial support from XH or the State. The only reason I'm able to just work part-time now is because I remarried and I was able to find a job that pays me well enough to get away with working 20 hours a week.  

karatechrissy

I literally spit water out of my mouth I was drinking when I read her reasoning. W.T.F. is wrong with people... Sorry you have to waste time with this.

Tasheystar

I seriously don't understand your BM. Before I met & married DH, I was a single mom. I took no CS from the sperm donor (my mom actually said that to friends of hers in front of me. Embarassing at the time, but true). I worked my as$ off so that my son would have everything he needed. Where's her dignity? Seriously, I think that breaking the stereotypes is what helped me get through. That, and my darling boy. You have to wonder about people.

riabiron

I would have your atty ask her to pay for all court costs too. They will go after her for them plus stop her from filing other frivilous motions.

TheBuddha

fauxshelley:

jobalchak:

Yes and yes.  She believes that when she got pregnant my husband was supposed to marry her and take care of her (they were broken up when she found out she was pregnant).  Even after all this time she hasn't figured out that you're only entitled to spousal support if you were married.  She has repeatedly told him (and the Judge, and parents at school, and anyone who will listen) that he needs to support her so that she can be home with K.  Um, K's going to be in 1st grade in the Fall.  Get a normal 9-5 job and be an adult.  Instead she chooses to work at restaurants or retail, and her hours are crazy.  Then she gives them nearly impossible availability and they end up firing her after a few months.

OMG, as a single mom, this infuriates me.  I work my ass off to take care of my kids.  MY XH does pay cs, and I just make ends meet.  Wouldn't I love to work part time and volunteer at my DD's school all day? Sure, but I have responsibilities, bills to pay, more important than that, I want to show my DD independance.  I don't sponge off my parents, the government, or my XH.  Sorry for the rant, useless people piss me off.

You get a thumbs up from me!! When the judge took custody away from BM he stated that one of his reasons for doing so was because BM was sitting at home with her parents and not working and therefore not teaching SS what a responsible parent should be doing.