Introducing DS to LO after delivery Q

morgs8384

Hi Ladies!

So, as the delivery of #2 gets closer, I am starting to think more of what to do once he is here. I know a lot depends on the time of day I deliver... but when did you introduce #1 to #2?  Did you have family bonding time before everyone else met the new LO?

Part of me feels like I am going to want some family bonding time whenever possible for the 4 of us. The other part of me knows that DS is still so young that he really isn't going to know much of what is going on. I have no idea what crazy whacked out emotions I will be feeling, so figured I would see what you all have done- and if it's how you would do things again. 

TIA!

BeebopandBuddy

I don't think DD will really understand everything, but I still want her to be the first one to meet DS with my husband and I.  It just seems right.

CaitlinJ22

For me it was important that me Dh and the baby have some bonding time alone before meeting with the other child(ren). It will be the only time you have to take care of just the newborn and good to have that time. 

At a year old, I would say dont have great expectations of sweet, quiet bonding time with all 4. DS was 18 months old and was fine for about 10 minutes and then was done adn wanted to leave with my mom...jjust enjoy the first few moments. (oh and have someone take a picture of the first meeting

I can say a HUGE tip that my sister gave me was to have the baby in the bassinet and not holding her when DS came in. It was great to see him discover her himself, and he wasnt jealous that I was holding her...until I did.

Dont stress too much, take it as it comes and enjoy yout time with the new LO. I know right now you are thikning about your older one more, but when that baby comes you will crave time with him/her alone too.

GL! 

NCMichelle

I second the advice about not holding the baby when the older sibling came in.  My DD was 14 months when DS was born.  She came to the hospital for about 5 minutes to meet DS before wanting to leave with our friend who was babysitting her.

biblionerd

We chose not to have DS at the hospital at all. He was 11 months when DD was born. He wouldn't have understood what was going on anyway with DD- he just now thinks she's kind of cool. The first day we brought her home he hardly even looked at her. He wasn't purposely ignoring her- just oblivious. So we decided "out of sight, out of mind" was the best for him. I had a c/s and didn't want him to see me in a weird environment that would already make him nervous, with an IV, catheter, post op, etc. Then having to go home without me would have made it even harder for him. I thought it was important to have bonding time with just DH, DD, and me. We have all the time in the world to be a family of 4, but those were the only first few days where it was just about us 3. Also, I know it would have been MUCH harder for me to have to say goodbye to him while I was in the hospital. 

etude de la vie

We didn't have DD come to the hospital. I just thought if she came it would ultimately end in a tantrum (leaving mommy) she would want to play and touch every medical equipment in the room and she definitely would not understand why she or I am there and who that little baby was in my arms. 

I did get released under 24hours (gave birth at 3am left hospital 5pm that day) and my OB and ped knew our situation with DD only being 16 months so as long as everyone was healthy they were fine with early release.

Honestly when we came home she took one look at her brother said "hi" and ran off playing. She was more excited about the new toy we got her than her brother and she only wanted some cuddle time with me. She has been like that always....as if he has always been apart of her life and there was no "adjustment time." You will find quality time with both kids and bond with the new baby even with your LO is around playing   

morgs8384

Thanks for all the responses, it really gives me something to think about! I have been so focused on just "being pregnant" and planning DS birthday party that I really hadn't given much thought to what the ending of the pregnancy should be like.

SuperThat1006

Go with your gut

DD was (unfortunately) familiar with the hospital because my dad was there for nearly three months, so she came to visit with MIL.

I didn't have crazy expectations, but it was an awesome experience. She was so happy to see me and wouldn't stop snuggling DS. Once she got bored, it was a huge plus that she could write on a dry erase surface

celiabwatson

We gave birth at a birth center so we were able to come home same day. I was discharged about 4 hours after giving birth, maybe 5. My son was at day care and we came home and relaxed for an hour before my husband went to get him. I was holding the baby when he got home and he was interested but being young it didn't last long. He wasn't jealous of me holding her though because he'd just seen me that morning, it wasn't like I'd been gone long. I think that helped. We are also tandem nursing so I'm sure that happened pretty soon after we were all home.

We don't have any family in the area so there wasn't an issue of them meeting the baby before he did, but we did skype with them from the birth center so they technically saw her first, but that didn't bother me at all.  

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KYmama9286

My kids are about 20 months apart so DS was a little older than your oldest will be but he was SUPER excited to meet his sister. We had really been talking up the baby a lot, got him his own dolly to play with, a lot of friends had just recently had babies so we had been spending time around newborns so he could prepare a little. I had Maggie Jo at 9:21pm and Nicholas came the next day (brought by my parents) in the morning around breakfast time. 

I will say that seeing my oldest son for the first time after having my daughter was an INCREDIBLY emotional moment for me- watching them meet for the first time is by far one of my fondest memories and I get teary thinking about it. My parents had gotten me and Maggie a bouquet of flowers and they had DS hold them and walk in with them-- for being so little he looked like such a big boy. He was so excited and wanted to hold and talk to the baby for a good 5 mins, then of course he was distracted, asking tons of questions about stuff in the room "whats that?" and wanted to eat what was left of my breakfast haha I was glad that DH & I got to have a night w/ just us and the baby and Nick only stayed for maybe 30 mins at the hospital then went home and spent the night w/ my parents again so when we were discharged that day at like 9pm we were able to go home, get Maggie settled at home and have a night of only having to worry about her then DS came home the next day. He did great, he loves spending the night at my parents house so he was in 7th heaven having a slumber party w/ Amma and Pop-pop. I do wonder what we will do this next time around because #2 and #3 will only be like 14-15mo apart so DD will be much younger than DS was...