Seriously Eye Roll

nurrieum

I have BM added as a friend on fakebook- mostly because we can constantly catch her in lies with her geo-tagged location- among other things. lol She makes it incredibly easy. So we've had SS since Friday and she had mentioned wanting to see him Saturday "for a few hours". Since she would be working late all Saturday (the late night shift which apparently doesn't get off until 2am which is why she can never pick him up before noon) and Sunday (all day and into the late night). Well she was tagged in posts with pictures of her at the bar last night- so apparently she didn't have to work- and she didn't bother to call to even check on her son. (Also giving us no clue when she would be trying to see him again). 

Well- she's been posting a great deal of statuses about how she can't trust anyone and people are just always lying to her. I have to just sit and laugh- it's like seriously?! You are the least trustworthy person I know and you lie to me all the time. So to see her complaining that people lie to her all the time- is just funny.

Ilumine

So what you do is two fold.

1) Get everything between you in writting. Even if it's a summary email back to her after a phone conversation.  Even if it's vial FB (glottal love screen shots).

Electronicallly Saveeverything and put it into an external hard drive for safety.

Then print out everything and put it into a three ring binder by date.

2) then when you get a FB/email/etc posting that contradicts  her original assertstions, you screen shot it.

Electronically save it to your external harddrive

Print it out and staple it behind the original in the binder.

Wile these things cannot get you custody on their own merits, they are great at adding weight when you are negotiating with a mediator.  

nurrieum

We try to communicate in writing as much as possible, we tend to communicate a lot via email and she chooses just not to reply that way or sometimes reply at all- I have all screenshots saved in an email account folder by date. So I document as much as I can under the advisement that this can further show she is forgoing time with SS that she could have had and helping our case for primary custody.

CurlyQ284

We have something similar with our BM except its more along the lines of "im so brooooke, its not faaair that you can take the kids to do fun things."  and she is checking into bars every weekend night on facebook and some weekdays after the kids are in bed (she lives with her mom who is at home while she is out). Im at home, saving money for vacation.  Booze is expensive and not worth a vacation IMO.

MarSamWhitney

Omg, that woman is a trip!!

Cheerilee

CurlyQ284:

We have something similar with our BM except its more along the lines of "im so brooooke, its not faaair that you can take the kids to do fun things."  and she is checking into bars every weekend night on facebook and some weekdays after the kids are in bed (she lives with her mom who is at home while she is out). Im at home, saving money for vacation.  Booze is expensive and not worth a vacation IMO.

BM threw the 'broke pity party' when we were back home for our summer visit.  She asked to borrow money since they'd caught on that she owes child support.  She claimed she couldn't afford daycare for her other children and it was due Friday or there was some sort of fee AND had to pay her electric bill.  We gave her the $40 she was asking for (we knew it wasn't a real 'borrow' situation), bought her other two kids dinner, and offered to pay for her and her boyfriend, as well, since they weren't eating.  The next day, we see on Facebook she's taken her kids to a water park and did not invite SS.  She chose to see him a total of 2 hours the entire time we were home, asked us for money, took her other children to a water park, and didn't invite SS...  Seriously?  Furious. 

CFjo2010

Ilumine:

So what you do is two fold.

1) Get everything between you in writting. Even if it's a summary email back to her after a phone conversation.  Even if it's vial FB (glottal love screen shots).

Electronicallly Saveeverything and put it into an external hard drive for safety.

Then print out everything and put it into a three ring binder by date.

2) then when you get a FB/email/etc posting that contradicts  her original assertstions, you screen shot it.

Electronically save it to your external harddrive

Print it out and staple it behind the original in the binder.

Wile these things cannot get you custody on their own merits, they are great at adding weight when you are negotiating with a mediator.  

^^ All of this.  We do this with our BM because she and I have a mutual friend on FB (the PTA President of all people).  When PTA sees stuff that concerns them, or the status updates are clearly in reference to me or my husband, she kindly takes a screen shot and emails it to me.  I never asked her to do this, and at times it feels like spying, but there have been some things that we know we need for our file.  We have it all done by issues, then by date (problems with visitation, work schedule, complaints about her relationship woes, etc.).  The files will only come out when we need them to, or when we need to reference something to her so that she knows her little games aren't working.

My attorney told me once, "The golden rule in real estate is 'location, location, location'.  The rule in divorces and custody is, 'document, document, document'."

nurrieum

jobalchak:

Ilumine:

So what you do is two fold.

1) Get everything between you in writting. Even if it's a summary email back to her after a phone conversation.  Even if it's vial FB (glottal love screen shots).

Electronicallly Saveeverything and put it into an external hard drive for safety.

Then print out everything and put it into a three ring binder by date.

2) then when you get a FB/email/etc posting that contradicts  her original assertstions, you screen shot it.

Electronically save it to your external harddrive

Print it out and staple it behind the original in the binder.

Wile these things cannot get you custody on their own merits, they are great at adding weight when you are negotiating with a mediator.  

^^ All of this.  We do this with our BM because she and I have a mutual friend on FB (the PTA President of all people).  When PTA sees stuff that concerns them, or the status updates are clearly in reference to me or my husband, she kindly takes a screen shot and emails it to me.  I never asked her to do this, and at times it feels like spying, but there have been some things that we know we need for our file.  We have it all done by issues, then by date (problems with visitation, work schedule, complaints about her relationship woes, etc.).  The files will only come out when we need them to, or when we need to reference something to her so that she knows her little games aren't working.

My attorney told me once, "The golden rule in real estate is 'location, location, location'.  The rule in divorces and custody is, 'document, document, document'."

I had her on a fake profile for a while (yeah it was playing dirty I know) but then she decided to add me outright and bothered to hide nothing! I was like WOW- there are ways she could have added me and tried to hide some of her lies- but she doesn't bother. I find it hilarious. She has no idea we keep these things saved but they will surely come in handy.

nurrieum

CurlyQ284:

We have something similar with our BM except its more along the lines of "im so brooooke, its not faaair that you can take the kids to do fun things."  and she is checking into bars every weekend night on facebook and some weekdays after the kids are in bed (she lives with her mom who is at home while she is out). Im at home, saving money for vacation.  Booze is expensive and not worth a vacation IMO.

She will message me from her phone and that gives me her location- she's told me "she can't talk she's at work and super busy" and I'll be able to see she's at a bar. She also claims to be broke but at least she hasn't asked us for money in months- she already knows the answer. lol

nurrieum

MarSamWhitney:

Omg, that woman is a trip!!

hehe I know! lol  Honestly I just laugh- it keeps me from getting too frustrated.