DH's ex girlfriend.....
nfrtny
member
So, DH worked Friday night, and I didnt see him. Yesterday he worked all day, was finally home at 9:30 and walks in the house and is like "My mom is such an idiot" He says that MIL found out from facebook, that the ex girlfriend's mom passed away last week. I am so so sorry for their family's loss. I cant imagine losing my mother, and I'm so sorry they have to go through this, especially at such a young age. Her mom was only late 40s or early 50s.
So, MIL decided that she wanted to reach out to the ex. She called her, and offered her condolences. The ex started talking about how her and her bf broke up (the guy who was DH's bestfriend, and she was cheating on DH with the bestfriend for long time before they broke up) now shes been dating a new guy for a few weeks, and they're very very happy, and the last guy was a bad dude (no sh!t sherlock)
Then the ex starts talking about how she is happy that DH got his happy ending and has a family, and shes sad that her mom wont get to see her have hers. She says she wants to reach out to DH, and "thank him for being so close to my parents, and doing so much for us. He was always a family man"
Yes. He is a family man. And you have no part in that family. I really am truly sorry for her loss. I am not some mean nasty person who would be glad that someones mother passed away just because I dont like that person. But I'm sorry, what does your familys tragedy's have to do with my husband? Maybe I'm being too harsh, idk. But, she called DH yesterday. He didnt answer, he was at work. He wouldn't have answered anyway, because the last time he talked to her when I was 5 months pregnant, he had to tell her NEVER, E-V-E-R to contact him for any reason again.
She had been harrassing him. Calling him way too much. The final straw for DH was when she called him, and demanded her house DVDs back (which were a gift from her to DH that she left when she moved out) He said fine, no problem. She wanted to come to our apartment to pick them up, DH said no, Ill bring them to your parents house. He texted her to tell her to come out to the car, and she said just to bring them to the back door, so he did. They talked for a few minutes, her mom came out, invited him in to see their redone kitchen, he said no thanks. We l left.
We get home, and she texts him and says "I cant believe you brought the girl you pretty much cheated on me with to my house." If by "pretty much cheated on me with" you mean that you didnt like that it didn't take DH long to find someone new AFTER you dumped him, then yeah, he "pretty much cheated on you" with me. Thats when DH had had enough and said look this is my wife, and I don't give a crap what you think about it or what you have to say about it, dont ever call me again.
I dont understand what about that situation makes her think its okay to "reach out to him and thank him for being such a family man" Wtf does that even mean? After she called him, an hour later DH got a missed call from a private number. I don't see think stopping. I have a feeling shes just going to continue to call and call, and I think he is just going to ignore it, but I think I might rip my hair out if it keeps happening.
Re: DH's ex girlfriend.....
Could always change the number and make sure he tells MIL not to give the ex his number again.
I kind of know how you feel. DH's ex is Bat sh!t crazy and pulled something similar on him (expcept the guy wasn't a friend of his). He and I started dating shortly after he left her...so she talks sh!t about me and calls me a homewrecker because they were engaged. She still contacts him over stupid sh!t and it bugs the cr@p out of me that after what she pulled he actually added her as a facebook friend. Especially after I know he has told her to go to hell a couple times.
I just don't get it.
From my experience ex gf's are usually bat *** crazy to begin with. I have experience with this, not with my DH, but with 2 guys that I dated before I met DH both of their ex's started messaging me and telling me that he was worthless that I should leave him, one of them even told me she was pregnant with his baby and sent me an ultrasound picture!!! Which turned out to be fake, but they were seriously crazy. I ultimately didn't care that much because I was just dating these guys it wasn't too serious, but ya ex's are crazy.
I wouldn't really have put her into the BSC categor before, but now I'm rethinking it. She threw a fit when her younger sister got pregnant at seventeen because she was JEALOUS of her. I don't care if you're 40 and don't have a baby, why the would you be jealous of a teenager having a baby!
I told DH two years ago to change his number, and he said he didn't want to and I never pushed the issue. I wouldn't want to change my number either, cause its my number! We've had the same numbers for years. But, if it keeps up I'll bring it up again to DH.
As much as I know I shouldn't let it bother me and I should just brush it off, it's easier said then done. She shouldn't have any reason to talk to him, and I dont like what I believe her motives are. Cause really, if she was over him she wouldn't talk to him. They had a bad break up and no desire to befriends now. That's not gonna change.
Do you mind my asking how long they dated? How long ago did they break up?
That girl is definitely weird and it's sad that she cannot move on with her life. I'm sure it's especially hard right now with her mom's passing.
The part that is getting me though, is that your MIL is actually the one who caused all this new drama. If I were your dh, I'd tell my mom to not contact any exes, especially that nutball one, and that she should have asked you guys before doing it anyway (considering your past with her).
I know you don't want to hear it, but I don't blame the ex for reaching out. She felt that she had the green light after MIL contacted her, so I think it's normal for her to reach out, especially after a death. However, that does not mean that your dh needs to contact her back if he isn't comfortable. His mom reaching out does not mean that he suddenly needs to become available to this person. Again, I'd talk to MIL bc this is all her meddling.
So sorry. Sounds like my ILs.....
You know.... THat was me and DH's first reaction. We can't believe MIL did that. But then I talked to my mom about it, and she said that I shouldn't be upset with MIL because she just felt like she needed to say sorry for her loss. But of course, we wouldn't be here if she hadn't said anything. I do think it's weird that she felt she needed to do that, and MIL is allllllll about the drama. She is constantly gossiping, meddling, etc.
DH dated her for 3 years in high school, and they have been broken up for... 4 years. She should be over it. The comments that she made about DH being a "family man" and how he "got his happy ending" were really weird if you ask me. It's also weird that in a conversation about her mom passing away that she brought up her new boyfriend and how happy she is.
MIL doesn't know what went on between them though. She knows the ex cheated, but she doesn't know that it went on for a very long time with 3 or 4 different guys. She also has no idea that we had issues with her calling and texting DH.
Idk. The girl has problems if she's not over it. I am very sorry for her loss, but idk. I jus hope this doesn't turn into a problem!!
Not knowing your situation personally you should just take all of this with a grain of salt... but here goes.
This makes me almost think it isn't that big of a deal. If they dated for 3 years in high school their families probably knew each other pretty well which is probably why your MIL reached out to her. I could also see an ex from high school saying they were happy for their ex that they got a happy ending and are doing so well.
But... neither one of us have BSC exes so who knows.
I understand why MIL would want to call her to say she's sorry for her loss. Telling someone don't talk to me again, should mean don't talk to me for any reason, ever lol. If she wasn't a weirdo, she wouldn't be trying to call him multiple times and from different numbers, I mean that's just weird. She easily could have sent a text, or left a voicemail. Idk. It bothers me, but I know it shouldn't. I just don't like her! She treated my sweet caring hubby like crap, and I don't want her pothead around!
So she finally left a voicemail, from a private number. After calling a total of NINE times to talk to him. She was all hey this is ____ I know you're not ALLOWED to talk to me or DON'T WANT to talk to me or WHATEVER. Then she said thanks for making me spend time with my family and being the best first boyfriend she could have asked for. She said she hopes me him and Cole are all happy, and she said 'I hope your happy in your marriage' and told him if he wanted to come to the wake he could come with his mom. I hope she goes away now!
Yes, it would make sense for an ex to call and say "congratulations on your engagement, I'm happy for you, blah blah." DH's ex did that when we got engaged (although it bugged the hell out of me).
BUT the ex isn't contacting her husband for that...she wants to "thank him for being so close to my parents, and doing so much for us. He was always a family man"
So, her mom dies, and she wants to call her ex from 4 years ago to thank him for being nice to her mom? That seems odd. Sounds like she's fishing for condolences...