I am so sick of

Redsoxchick

People telling me I have to let DS CIO. I'll let him fuss or cry for a little but I can't let him scream for 30 mins, I just can't. It works for some people but I'm not one of them...part of me wishes I was but I'm not

Eveamlizya

I'm with you there...DD will get these huge tears and it just kills me. 

Elisha Shick

amen mama, my in laws tell me this all the time. says Im spoiling her by not letting her cry it out to go to sleep. I hate hearing my dd cry and dont think cio is okay at all for us. stand your ground and let them know how you feel

JFH2010

I'm with you, and it makes me sad to know that so many people let their kids do it - including my parents! I now (jokingly) blame all my neuroses on them letting me CIO. When people tell me that I just say, "he can't self-soothe yet" and I change the subject.

RelativeChaos00

Actually, my little sis is a counseling grad student with Bachelor's is Psychology and she says the latest research says that all you effectively do to a child by letting the cio is teach them that you won't be there for them when they call.  Apparently it contributes to a lack of trust in the parents to care for their needs later on.  Not to say the child can't cry for a few minutes while you ready a bottle or something, but it seems leaving them to their own devices can be detrimental.  If I can find the article again I'll post it.  Good luck honey and keep on, you know what's best!! 

HollyBee013

For me, this goes along with being so sick of everyone telling me what do to with LO in general.  I feel like, I am a FTM, let me figure it out, and Im fairly sure I spend the most time with her and I probably know what will work for her and what wont.  Come on ladies, we know our children better than anyone!!  At first I would just let it all roll off when people would tell me things, but then I figured out, those same people will continue to do it till you say something, so I have put that to a stop with a quickness!  I will continue to pick my child up when she cries (shes only 3 months, not trying to CIO just yet) because thats what she knows and thats what makes her feel better.  As she gets older, I might let it go a little longer and longer, but I will not let her wear herself out crying because Mommy wanted to let her try to soothe herself!  Even adults want to be hugged when they cry!!!

Redsoxchick

RelativeChaos00:

Actually, my little sis is a counseling grad student with Bachelor's is Psychology and she says the latest research says that all you effectively do to a child by letting the cio is teach them that you won't be there for them when they call.  Apparently it contributes to a lack of trust in the parents to care for their needs later on.  Not to say the child can't cry for a few minutes while you ready a bottle or something, but it seems leaving them to their own devices can be detrimental.  If I can find the article again I'll post it.  Good luck honey and keep on, you know what's best!! 

That makes sense, I'll be interested to read the article. I also just feel like I want him to like his crib and his room and if I leave him there crying he won't, just my opinion I know CIO works for some and I certainly don't judge it, it's just not for me.

lorahbora

I also read an article a while ago that talked about how some LOs are self soothing criers, and some aren't. I think CIO does work for some because their LOs are the type that release tension by crying, and they're able to fall asleep at the end. Other LOs, mine included, build tension by crying and just get more and more worked up, so leaving them to CIO doesn't do any good - in fact, it makes them even less likely to fall asleep. For this type of LO, you have to try a different approach. I was talking with another mom who has one kid of each type, and she said she was so mad about everyone telling her to use CIO the first time until she saw it actually worked on her second baby.