I feel so bad. Help! — The Bump
Babies: 0 - 3 Months

I feel so bad. Help!

The past two nights my DH has had to wake me up because LO is crying and I didn't hear her.  I BF and DH has to work so I'm the one that gets up with her throughout the night.  We always joke DH is the deepest sleeper ever, and so it scares me that he is even waking up before me.  I know.it's because I'm so tired from night feelings but it makes me feel like a bad mom because I haven't had that instinct to wake up to my LO in the past two days.  I'm scared we both may not hear her and she'll just cry and cry and be hungry.  I don't even want to sleep tonight.


Anyone else do this? Any tips?  She sleeps right next to me.


TTC #1 Cycle 19

Dx: Unexplained Infertility

1st SA: low motility (29%), low end sperm count (29 mil), low morph

HSG: all clear

May: 50 mg Clomid + HCG injection = BFN

June: 50 mg Clomid = BFN

2nd SA: low motility (40%), great increase in count (29 million to 122 million)

July: 50 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI #1 = BFN

August: break cycle until AF shows

September: cancelled due to cyst - on BCP

October: 100 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI #2 = BFP

Beta #1 = 55 -- Beta #2 = 170

32 weeks: bedrest and NSTs until arrival

Goal: make it to 37 weeks

37 weeks: scheduled c section

Baby girl arrived at 36 weeks

Re: I feel so bad. Help!

  • Maybe set an alarm to go off around the time LO usually wakes up to eat? I wouldn't feel bad about not hearing LO cry a couple times. I have over slept a few times so far too and I know it's from being so tired. Your baby won't starve from being fed a little late so don't beat yourself up about it.

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  • Definitely try an alarm clock. It's great that your DH is waking you up and not just turning over and sleeping through baby.

    You're not a bad mom, the first few weeks are draining. Frequent wakes ups, being  a human feed bag, having gone through L&D, growing a baby for 9 months....it's bound to catch up to you one way or another.

     You've heard it a million times, but try to sleep when baby sleeps during the day too.


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  • I am almost completely deaf, so when I take my hearing aids out, I can't hear anything at all. I had to depend on DH waking me up when our daughter was an infant. I felt bad but sleeping in hearing aids is NOT ideal.

    Once we started taking trips away from him over night this caused me some trouble and we found a grace monitor that vibrates. I can control the noise level that sets off the vibration feature (so a small whimper doesn't set it off for example). it needs to be charged every 4 hours, but with an infant that shouldnt be an issue. You can put it in your pillow case and the vibrations will wake you up. They also make heavy duty monitor for people with hearing issues (but I know that isn't your challenge), so I'd suggest trying the graco first if you like the idea. I am going to try that right off the bat with our new baby.  

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  • Don't feel like a bad mom.  I use to be the super light sleeper and hubby was the heavy sleeper, it changed after LO got home.  Don't worry about you both not hearing her crying because one of you will.  Just spend a day sleeping as much as you can between the feedings.  I BF too so I know it's not really easy but let some stuff go undone so you can sleep. 
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  • I would absolutely NOT use an alarm clock with the baby in the room. If it's too loud, you're going to scare the baby!
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  • My tip is relax.  Honestly it wont become a habit. I remember with my first the first time that happened I felt terrible. But you are human and you are going to get overtired. Don't stress. Baby was still attended to it's not like she had to cry herself back to sleep. 
  • nfrtnynfrtny
    500 Comments Third Anniversary

    LUrking, but... 

    Is she in bed? DH was painfully aware of DS in bed with us. He didn't sleep well because of it. Maybe DH is just not sleeping as heavy because of LO 

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