Today's Dear Abby
I think I've spent too much time lurking over here, because I was super disappointed when Abby didn't call her an ungrateful biatch.
DEAR ABBY: I am getting married this year and I'd like to ch allenge the notion that it's rude to ask for gifts toward a honeymoon or other big-ticket items such as home improvements or a car. My fiance and I own our home and we don't need a lot of the traditional items couples receive at their wedding.
Our families have been very understanding, but I'm sick to death of hearing or reading that it's rude to ask for money. Shouldn't wedding guests be happy to celebrate the couple in a way that they need and not force them to register for a bunch of material things they won't use? -- ALREADY HAS A BLENDER
DEAR ALREADY HAS A ...: Your question is very common. I receive variations on this theme in every batch of mail that arrives.
It is considered rude to ask for money on a wedding invitation, just as it is considered rude for brides and grooms to raise the subject themselves. When a wedding invitation is accepted, the guests usually contact whoever issued the invitation to inquire where the couple is registered. Once asked, i t is then appropriate to reply, "They're not registered for gifts because they already have everything they need, but monetary gifts would be appreciated."
Some couples set up financial registries for this purpose with their bank or other financial institution, and there are also honeymoon registries and charitable gift registries if guests would prefer to donate to a worthy cause chosen by the happy couple.
Re: Today's Dear Abby
I refuse to believe this was actual advice given to someone.
figures....
This.
Count yourself fortunate that your crowd doesn't believe in panhandling guests for the wedding expenses. I swear people are going to start registering for the florist and caterer.
I have one better, went to a bridal shower about 6 months ago and at there was a bucket labeled. "For the Honeymoon: Please make a monitary donation for the happy couple with their Honeymoon." And if that wasnt bad enough the bride insisted on throwing her own shower cause she didnt "trust the bridesmaids to do what she wanted" her words, not mine. I heard of all this before I went to the shower and I went for pure enjoyment, it was a sh** show, and I loved it, I felt like I was in a bad reality show.
Am I the only one that if I didn't want physical gifts and wanted $ for the honeymoon or whatever, I just wouldn't register? I always assume when there's no registry or very few items on one that the couple wants cash. I wouldn't ever think to insinuate, please deposit your money directly into my new bank account I opened just for this occasion.
Explains a lot. The original Dear Abby gave advice the way she thought and though she kept it snark free because it was in the public eye, she never tip-toed around the subject. I am shocked.
LOL...Dear Abby must be getting senile. First of all, guests are not really supposed to bring gifts for the wedding/reception. Most due...but it is not a "requirement". A bridal shower would be different. IMO...it is rude to come out and REQUEST money. I don't get this part "when the wedding invitation is accepted, the guests usually contacts whoever issued the invitation...". Ummm...I'm thinking in this case anyway (since they have already set up their home) the couple themselves issued the invite. I have NEVER called a bride and groom (or even the parents of either) to find out where they are registered. Seriously, if I don't know what they can use I give cash. It is as simple as that.
Oh just saw that Abby died and her daughter is running the show. Hmmm...maybe she needs to read some etiquette books. lol
That's my favorite line of the letter. I love when people are so entitled, they think their guests are falling over themselves, grasping at the opportunity to spend money on them.
Sooooooo... what you are saying is that I should not put my savings account information on the shower invites?
I mean I am trying to make it easy for my guests to get me what I really need - cash.
:::eyeroll:::
I would not put money in that.
Well that makes it ok then. I mean, "here you go Mr and Mrs, you have $48.25 to spend on dinner." "well that's an odd amount, who would give us that amount?" "Oh, they gave you $50, but we took our cut...bon appetite!"
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
In our town we have a bank that does "Matrimoney" for weddings...completely tacky!!!! If you get a gift be gracious...people put a lot of time and effort into finding a gift that suits you and your future DH...
SO RUDE!
Guh, I would have liked to have seen:
Dear Already Has a Blender,
How wonderful for you and your fiance that you are so well-set for your new life together! You are truly blessed to be in such a comfortable financial situation in this day and age to already own everything you need for your home. It dismays me, however, that you have not considered the most obvious solution to your situation--if you don't need anything, simply ask your parents and bridal party to share with guests who inquire that you would request that their presence be their only gift to you. Certainly some will insist on purchasing something--but these kind souls would likely do as much when presented with your "money registry" in any case.
All best wishes!
We had friends that asked for money for their honeymoon. It quite disgusted me. I gave them a gift instead that they then regifted to us as our gift for our wedding. Classy!
Idiots.
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.