September 2012 Moms

Dear ____

Dear SIL i cannot stand,

I am not pregnant with twins Indifferent however i do appreciate that snarky look on your face when you asked.  I am coming up on 7 months pregnant, gonna be kinda big. However, I did not give you a snarky response props for me!




write a letter to whoever you want for whatever reason good, bad and ugly! just let it out its friday!! :)

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Re: Dear ____

  • Dear crazy people in my family,




    Vroom, vroom.
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • Dear Mom,

    You have yet to be to my house so you have no clue how well kept it is or is not.  The last place I lived that you visited was shared with a roommate who had a cat and was unable to clean up after herself, so yes the apartment stunk and I had Saturday to clean so when you come over on a Wednesday the apartment was messy.  I am now a stay at home housewife who cleans daily then gets bored and gets on the computer once the house is clean, so until you visit my current home keep your comments about my keeping house to yourself.  And remember I grew up in the house you "kept" and I can say with all honesty that my house is a lot cleaner and organized than yours ever thought to be and still is.



    Your darling daughter

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  • Dear MIL,

    If you touch, let alone shove my daughters belongings from the hospital in the closet and pile boxes on top again, I will remove you from my home. My real desire will to break your fingers, but "I" have at some restraint.  Dont touch what is sacred to others and keep your dirty paws away from closed doors. You don't, nor will ever have permission to do such. The dried flowers you destroyed by piling boxes ontop were held by our daughter for some private and personal photographs. Thanks for that..... 

    PS- you suck...  

    No Love,

    Your livid DIL 

  • Dear Ford Motor Company, 

    You suck. You suck real bad. You KNOW that there are issues with the 2001 Ford Focus, because eleventy-bajillion people have complained, and yet you still refuse to issue a recall because you don't want to pay for the problems that YOU created. You really think it's coincidence that thousands of people have complained about all the windows breaking? It's coincidence that thousands of people have had problems with the ignition switches crapping out? Really? 

    You suck. 

    No love,


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  • Dear Friend,

    I am sorry I got too big and pregnant for your wedding and had to order a different dress and wear flats and now I have a sunburn with bad tanlines and a huge bruise on my leg from my dog scratching me in the lake two weeks ago and back acne from these crazy hormones.  I did not do any of this on purpose and I feel really bad about it. Please don't make me feel any worse.  


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  • Dear MIL,
    You are no longer the main woman in your son's life.  He is my husband.... I am sorry that is so difficult for you to understand.  Honestly, No, I would rather not move 20 minutes from your house.... I really am enjoying our (2hr) long distance relationship... but thanks!

    Dear DH,
    There is so much I would love to just let roll of my tongue.... but I will only say grow up.  Please and thank you.

    Dear SIL,
    Go Away. Forever... and take your little dog who cannot control her bladder with well as your horrible attitude.  

    Dear Mother Nature,
    I love the summer months... I really do! But 106 degree weather? .. Give us a little break every now and then! 
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  • Dear male co-worker,

    No, I did not get pregnant to "get out of work." It's none of your business anyways. I'm still here at work, just not in the metal shop with all the heavy machinery. I am the one working in the back office making sure that you have all the supplies you need to do your job, so really, if I wan't here you wouldn't be able to work. Get over yourself. No, I am not "faking" my complications and my carpal tunnel. Yes, I'm very glas that your wife was able to do her regular job at a desk. I'm glad she didn't have to change anything. I'm glad both of your children were born healthy and happy. Every pregnancy is different. Thank you very much for making me feel even worse about myself.


    Useless pregnant female

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  • Dear same SIL,

    You brought over my nephew for us to watch yesterday cause he has an ear infection and cant be with his brother at the hospital.  DF specifically asked you to bring him lunch so we could have him nap most of the day to try and feel better.  Powdered donuts, goldfish, and bubble gum is not lunch.  Thank goodness for grandparents living down the block cause i had nothing to feed this kid (again, you did that to me the last time you dropped him off for a weekend that turned into a week and a half stay...)

    Next time, if i ask you to bring him something to eat when you drop him off, bring him something halfway decent. 
    moi again


    Dear other SIL,

    Thank you for telling me my bump looks gorgeous in my new dress :)


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  • Manx4Manx4 member

    Dear Customers who never buy from me

    Stop sending over quote requests because you're too lazy to figure it out on your own.  I do not work for you, I work on commission.  Therefore doing quotes for you, knowing you're not going to buy it, makes me put you on the back burner.  Stop calling & asking when you're going to get your quote.  If time is important to you, either do it yourself or buy the da!n job from me.  


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  • Dear Ohio Bar Exam,

    Preparing for you is making my husband super stressed out, which, in turn, is making me super stressed out. I cannot wait until the end of July when my husband comes home from the three freaking days it takes to complete you, and we can burn all of the barbri books, and I don't know, maybe go on a date or something for the first time since January?



    Dear Mom,

    Please stop giving me guilt trips about how I haven't been keeping up my monthly baby picture emails. Things have been a little crazy around here (remember the appendectomy I had last month and the two weeks plus weeks I spent recovering? Remember that sort-of-important exam my husband is studying for, which has left me to do even more stuff on my own than usual?) and I've never been great about taking pictures anyway, so that first entire year of her life where you were getting regular photo emails was a pretty big accomplishment for me. It's only been two months since the last big group of photos, and like I just mentioned, it's been busy around here. When you give me a hard time, it does not inspire me to do what you want. Also, you have Skype and Gchat, there is no reason why you can't see the baby there. Also, print out some photos for Dad! The man has no idea how to use a computer and he wants to show his friends pictures of his grandchild. If I'm emailing photos to you there is no reason why you can't print some out for him.



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  • Dear Co-worker who I cannot stand,

     I know you find it necessary to remind me daily, but believe it or not, I am fully aware that I am pregnant. There is no need to comment about how I look like I've grown 'a month overnight', or to tell me that my outfit makes me look 'super pregnant'. No, I'm pretty sure my pregnancy makes me look pregnant, thank you very much. Also, if you tell me to 'suck it in' as we walk past one another so that you can get by, I will punch you in your throat. In. The. Throat!



    PS- I fuggin hate yo hair! Do everyone a favor and stop cutting it yourself bc it looks like a Star Wars helmet.

  • Dear My Pregnant and Still Skinny Friend,

     I realize you have no self esteem and that is why you don't eat and exercise 2-3 hours a day.  I have always given you my compassion and patience but when you got pregnant your filter broke. 

    I think it's great that at 39 weeks you have only gained 20 lbs. Good for you. I'm sorry you keep having to do the GD tests because you failed the 1 hour both times.  The fact that you have no filter when it comes to me is really getting old.  Yes, I'm chubby, I've gained more weight than you and am 10 weeks before you in my pregnancy.  Yes I really did pass my GD tests with flying colors both times.  I'm not sure why that bothers you or why you find it hard to believe.

    I hope that after our babies are both born we can have a good friendship again. 


    Your thicker but healthier friend.

  • hmp1hmp1 member

    Dear TN,

    I was really excited to move here to get out of the melting TX summer heat. Why the eff is it 107 today, in June?


    Dear DS,

    Why did you wake up before 7 this morning? Please be a good boy and sleep in tomorrow. TIA. 

    James Sawyer 12.3.10
    Leo Richard 9.20.12 

  • imageJreidknox:

    Dear Ford Motor Company, 

    You suck. You suck real bad. You KNOW that there are issues with the 2001 Ford Focus, because eleventy-bajillion people have complained, and yet you still refuse to issue a recall because you don't want to pay for the problems that YOU created. You really think it's coincidence that thousands of people have complained about all the windows breaking? It's coincidence that thousands of people have had problems with the ignition switches crapping out? Really? 

    You suck. 

    No love,


    I had a 2001 focus.  Yes, all my windows broke.  I still loved that car.  'twas my first.  I had to get rid of it in 2008 though, because it was a pieceoshit.  

    The thing that annoys me is that this was supposed to be the "family car" for hauling around car seats and whatnot. But the dang thing is freaking falling apart...yeah, I feel REAL safe in this hunk o' junk. Our other car is a VW Bug, and a car seat will not fit in that. So we're either going to have to shell out a buttload of money to fix the windows and pray nothing else happens, or come up with the money for a car payment and get a new one.  

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  • Dear Boss,

      Please, for the love of God, learn to chew with your mouth shut.  You sound like  a flipping cow chewing cud.  I will throw up on your desk.  I promise you.  Also, please learn this before your date next week.  I can guarantee this is why you're still single. 


      Grossed out employee forced to sit next to your office. 



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  • Dear Mom,

    I love you dearly. However you have to STOP lecturing me about eating more food. I am not a child and I am doing my best to take care of me and my little guy. I do not need you to tell me to eat all of the time. Secondly, I am pregnant NOT dead. There is no reason for me to sit around all of the time. I am capable of getting out and doing things. I will have to set up my classroom whether you like it or not.

    Love, your annoyed daughter

    Dear MIL,

    Quit trying to manipulate your son into watching your grandson. You can keep your paws off!!! Why on Earth would you think I would allow you to keep him over an hour away when you are a rude witch, never speak to me, and have not once asked about the pregnancy? Besides that you didn't raise your 3 sons and treat your current grand child not so great. She is 5 years old and does not require a 5 hour nap and it is quite sad she runs to the door to leave as soon as her parents pick her up. Not to mention you yell at your dog like a crazy person- no way you are keeping my son.  I think you forgot that dh does not make any decisions without asking me so do not even bother asking to watch our son.  

     Love, your worst enemy 

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  • One more..

    Dear Co-worker,

      Just because I didn't see another co-worker leave his office does not mean I won't be able to keep up with my kid.  It's not my day to watch the grown ups in the office, KWIM?   Trust me... I won't find my baby on the roof when he's supposed to be napping in the crib.  I'm actually pretty damn aware of the surroundings in my own home.  However, here...I'm busy trying to work...not keep an eye on the others in the office.  I work in insurance...not a daycare.


      Perfectly Competent Mom-to-Be

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  • Dear two friends of mine,

    I'm sorry I'm such a flake with returning your phone calls and texts.  I'm on the phone my hour long drive to work, then all day at work.  You both call and text me all day during my work hours because you have the summer off.  It is rude and just seeing your names on caller ID makes my blood boil.  I've never answered your calls at work, so stop, JUST STOP. 

    If my phone calls with you didn't last over an hour I might answer.  If you let me off the phone when I say I have to go, or I'm home and I want to eat dinner, then maybe I'd answer.  If you didn't CONSTANTLY guilt trip me about missing your phone calls, maybe I'd answer.  You never have anything to talk about and your kids SCREAAAAMMMM the whole time I'm on the phone with you.  I've never heard kids scream and cry so much every time they want something.  When I get a chance to talk, I hear your voice five feet from the phone, which you have set down for some reason without telling me.  It's rude, and quite frankly, talking to you stresses me out. 

    I really enjoy feeling the baby move to different music on my drive home, and it makes me sad when I have to spend THE ENTIRE HOUR DRIVE on the phone.  You know I work ridiculously long days.  I'm so freaking tired.  I don't need to talk to you every. fkng. day.  How did I let things get this out of hand??


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  • BPerBPer member

    Dear MIL,

    It has been well over 20 years since you've been pregnant, so I'll try to forgive you for forgetting that it is not always a walk in the park.  Between the sciatica, hip problems, and ridiculous heat we've been experiencing, you'll have to forgive DH if he's a little concerned you have me cleaning the deck at the lake, for the SECOND time today.  And telling him I'm 'pregnant, not broken' when he tells you that if the deck needs cleaning, he'll do it himself, has me teetering on the edge of bat shiit crazy.  Cut me some slack so your son doesn't have to spend the evening helping me use the bathroom because I'm in too much pain to lower myself on to the toilet.  K? Thx.

    Your DIL (Not just your source of free-labor) 



  • Newt69Newt69 member

    Dear Sister - i know my plans for my baby shower were taken away from you and mom by my MIL, but my MIL cares and you and mom dont listen when i talk. you both know i hate the heat so lets have my shower in an un-air conditioned house of mom and dads and then make me listen to her for weeks on end how she has to clean and dust etc. and not to mention we both hate her dog so why would i want to subject friends and other family to that crazy dog. so please call and talk to me, you were calling me every week until things got changed. just remember i get to help throw your baby shower when the time comes and i promise to listen to you about what you want.


    Dear 17y/o SIL - i have lost all respect for you since you spent the night at your 19y/o boyfriends house the other night(boyfriend lives in his own apartment). i know you are a great kid and you are stubborn when it comes to boys, but come on. i was in college at 17 and i still wouldn't sleep anywhere other then my dorm room. i just find it unacceptable that you are putting your parents through that. also get a job and stop spending your mothers money that she works hard for. you don't need sephora makeup to be pretty. you are naturally beautiful. oh yeah stop tanning!!! you are going to end up with skin cancer.





  • Dear Employer,

    I get it. It's hot outside--like ridiculously "this is still JUNE??!" hot. I understand that I work for a large university where air conditioning needs to be cycled on campus. Just tell us you are doing it instead of denying it. I'm so hot that I'm nauseaus-- and this could have been avoided had you let employees know ahead of time and I arranged to have a box fan in my office three hours ago.


     Pregnant woman with a sweat 'stache.

    Married: 11/2011
    Sweet Angel Boy born too soon 12/17/17

  • Dear Delivery Driver

    Thank you so much for refusing pick up today without so much as a hi by kiss my a** REASON. its loaded, labeled, and ready to go. I hope I don't lose customers over your stupid laziness.

    I hate you,

    pissy prego 

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